Thing is, my boyf isnt the most attentive & affectionate & quite often snaps at me 4 sml thngs.he is never at home at night. he eats the tea i cook for him & then goes off to his m8s houses til early hours of the morning.he isnt interested in coming 2 see me at competitions on my horse & doesnt help round the house. when i ask, he moans & swears & just sits on the sofa.he says he loves me but doesnt show it much.i am a very tolerant person & my mum is always moaning at me to not put up with it.this other guy is the oppoosite to my boyf in every way. he wants to be with me for good & care for me. he gets annoyed at the way my boyf treats me and how he is with me. i dont wanna do the wrong thing.i sometimes wish i could go back to b4 i knew this lad when i was in blisful ignorance with my boyf & quite happy 2 put up with his ways. i dont wanna throw away a 4 1/2 yr relationship then relise it was wrong decision.but i dont wanna put up wit it if i could be happy elsewhere! HELP!!
2007-02-21 03:50:34 · 11 answers · asked by millayhighsociety 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is very hard. It's all so easy for us all to tell you to leave him, because from our unbiased point of view, it's the obvious thing to do.
It sounds in a way like your boyfriend doesn't want a girlfriend, he just wants someone to clean up after him and take care of him. What about you?
It all comes down to how you feel. Do you love your boyfriend? How do you feel about this other guy? I ask the latter questions because, as good as it would be for a guy to care for you deeply and show it, you shouldn't go off with him if you don't feel the same.
Your boyfriend does sound terrible though and perhaps a break would sort his out. Perhaps if you went to stay somewhere else for a while, he'd soon realise how hard it is to take care of the house, etc. and hopefully he'll realise just how much he misses you.
If he doesn't then perhaps leaving him is the best choice anyway, regardless of whether you go off with the other guy or not.
2007-02-21 03:59:08 · answer #1 · answered by lollysarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't want to throw away a four-year relationship but are you really prepared to put up with this for the rest of your life, which is going (hopefully) to be a darn sight longer than four years, probably nearer forty!
There seems to be little pleasure in this relationship for you. Forget about the time you have invested ... you're still young enough to go out and find someone else who will treat you better and with whom you can build a better and more loving future. It will be far more difficult in, say, ten years' time if you change your mind then. So change your mind now - this guy doesn't really enhance your life or give you confidence so show him the door. Wave goodbye to the last four years. And embrace, with confidence, the next forty years and find someone that will make them magical!
Good luck.
2007-02-21 11:56:26 · answer #2 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you already know the answer to your question. Noone deserves to be treated like that! If you have been together for 4 1/2 years and he can't help around the house or take interest in activities that mean alot to you then chances are he never will. I say give the other guy a chance but don't rush things. Good Luck!
2007-02-21 11:55:48 · answer #3 · answered by mrschevgmt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you like being treated like crap then stay with your boyfriend. If you want to be treated like the princess that all women should be treated like then go with the lad. So what you were with that ogre for 4.5 years, that just shows how inconsiderate he is about the way he treats you! Move on, evidentally there has been no growth or improvement in the relationship if he still doesnt know how to treat you like you want to be treated, after all, in 4.5 years he should have mastered the art of pleasing you. You dont deserve to be treated like that no matter how much time you have put in with him! MOVE ON!
2007-02-21 11:56:04 · answer #4 · answered by superbad~honeydip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you really be throwing away a good relationship?! You dont need this hassle from your b/f, he does nothing to help you and it seems that he doesnt want to be with you.
But this doesnt mean you should get with the other bloke. Try being on your own for a while, and get some time for you.
2007-02-21 11:56:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be a 4&1/2 year relationship now but how are you going to feel if you waste any more years on this bloke just to realize you're really miserable with him. And you will be, this guy's not meeting your needs from what you just shared.
2007-02-21 12:01:21 · answer #6 · answered by ♫Silvi♪ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like your bf needs u more than u need him but in the wrong way he dont want a gf he wants a mother go off with this new guy and show him what he is missing then if he like he will crawl nd then its up2 u decide him or the new guy who wants a gf not another mother
2007-02-21 13:27:31 · answer #7 · answered by kezz247 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump your boyfriend for the other guy. Theres no point in staying with someone your not sure you want to be with, if you really loved your boyfriend you wouldnt want to be with anybody else. And it doesnt sound like your bf deserves you anyway. go find happiness.
2007-02-21 11:54:51 · answer #8 · answered by Lucy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does your heart tell you? Who do you think you can love more and get more love from and who do you think you would be most happiest with?
I think if you answer these questions, you will find the answer yourself and I think deep down you already know the answer.
Good luck!
2007-02-21 11:55:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your boyfriend is walking all over you and taking you for granted, dont put up with that, move on to the guy who really cares about you
2007-02-21 11:55:03 · answer #10 · answered by Erika 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋