confidence issue?

Question

I am 20 and was teased all throughout elementary and high school. I wore braces and had glasses and was just very awkward. Well I guess I let the high school kids win because now I have no confidence and am painfully shy. I cant take a compliment and think guys are lying when they say I am pretty or cute. I just dont see it. I need to get my confidence up and I know this isnt something that is done in a day but how can I? I dont want to be stuck up just happy.

Answer 1

****************BEST ANSWER HERE***************
Real talk......start doing things YOU like to do, not what your friends like to do.
Start watching shows and movies YOU like to watch, not what your friends like to do.
Start wearing clothes YOU like to wear, not what your friends like.

THEN, self esteem will come as you will develop your OWN sense of fashion, hobbies, etc..There's a fine line with being bossy and defining yourself, so beware.

Good luck!

Answer 2

That kind of shyness is particularly natural. I think that the best thing you can do is to continue to make yourself look good and feel good about yourself.

In the short-term, those demons from your school years, which are really memories of past experiences, will tell you to not look good, etc., but you must laugh those silly thoughts away and proudly proclaim that you were not a victim of brainwash because of the judgmental opinions of naive elementary school students.

Also, if you wear glasses, why not wear contact lenses so that you do not hide yourself behind those glasses and so that you cannot allow yourself to make the excuse that the glasses are what makes you feel unattractive? Personally, I, and many guys, think glasses, if the right kind, look just as sexy on a girl than girls who don't wear glasses.

I think you hit a key point when you pointed out in your question that "I just don't see it." However, can you "see" your insecurity? If you can see that, you have to accept that by definition, an insecurity is a barrier that prevents you being the best person you can possibly be.

To break down that barrier, you have to do things that makes you feel good about who you are. Start off by committing to dressing your best everyday. Iron your clothes the night before, find out what you look good in.

Next, try to develop more friendships with females. Because you are painfully shy, I am assuming that meeting guys is very difficult. So, why not begin socializing more frequently with your own sex? Eventually, one of those friends will have guy friends and with that, you can gradually crescendo in meeting more guys.

Start with little things and graduallly build up. By doing this, you do not focus on your problem, which makes sense, because it isn't really a problem, but a fabricated inaccuracy of your assessment of yourself caused by reinforced name calling that you received as a child, a term referred to as "conditioning." It's the same type of learning that taught you how to read, that is why your mind is playing tricks with you.

Start slow and you will be fine.

Answer 3

Be a show stopper. Just dress up and feel good about your self. the problem is do you think your pretty? Confidence come with in. If I was you I would let lose and stop thing and go on a date and let people say good things about you ;-) you are beautiful

Answer 4

I know it sounds weird, but get a make over (new makeup, hair style) and buy new cute matching panties.

I do it when don't feel confident and it cheers me right up.

Then when you walk into a room hold your head up high (imagine making your neck longer) relax your shoulders and pretend you are the hottest supermodel ever.


This will take time and practice, but you will get it.


Buona Fortuna!

Answer 5

There is nothing that anyone can tell you to help with your self esteem..it's exactly that...SELF esteem. You want more confidence, hold your head up high and be proud of not only who you are but how you look. Self acceptance isnt about ego

Answer 6

This has helped for me...

Hang with people that are out going and you will soon be influenced to do the same...