my sons father has cheated/hit me several times now he says i am obsession and doesn't want to be with me i

Question

I FEEL USED AND LOST I AM CONFUSED CAUSE I LOVE HIM AND ITS HARD TO EXPLAIN TO MY SON DADDY ISN'T AROUND HIS ON MANY DRUGS AND I FEEL THE DRUGS HAS ALOT TO DO WITH IT.BUT I ALSO FEEL I AM IN HIS TRIP HE SAYS TO STOP CALLIN HIM.HE DOSEN'T SHOW UP AT CHILD SUPPORT DOSEN'T HELP ME IN ANYWAY.I CANT SAY ANYTHG GOOD ABOUT HIM JUST THE FACT THAT CUZ HE DOSEN'T WANT TO BE WITH ME IT HURTS AND ALL MY SECRETS THAT I TOLD HIM HE TELLS EVERYONE TO HURT ME HE MAKES ME FEEL LOW AND ITS HURTS THAT HE DOSEN'T CARE.

Answer 1

Maybe your are obsessed. You just said you can't say anything good about him yet you say you love him? That makes NO sense. Get real and think about your son. If this guy is into drugs and HITTING you, FORGET HIM. He's pathetic and dangerous to you and your son. Even if he hasn't hit your son yet, there's a STRONG potential there. Get out of the situation and report him to the police for spouse and drug abuse. He's not worth worrying about. Your son will understand later in life that it was best to get out of the situation. You or your son could end up dead.

Answer 2

Sweety get some help. You deserve so much better than this life you are living. You more than likely suffer with Co-Dependent issues, which a lot of us do.
The fact that he is on drugs, cheated on you, and hit you serve as 3 GREAT reason to get the H*E*L*L out.
If he is not providing child support, then get him to sign over his parental rights, he doesn't deserve to be a Dad right now anyway, I wouldn't want my son around him, I don't care if he is the childs father.
You need to set a more positive example for your son, surround yourself with positive people, people that love and care about you and your son.
Don't worry about what he is saying about you behind your back, LET IT GO, the guy is a jerk.
Please seek out some kind of professional help, it can only serve to better this situation.
God Bless You

Answer 3

You need to be happy that he left. It's scary to think of starting over and wonder what you are going to do, but in the end you will be stronger without him there to hold you down. That isn't any kind of environment to raise your son in, and it could ultimately prove dangerous. I think that you need to raise your self-esteem up, you don't want to be with someone so cold and hurtful, do you? You deserve, and your son deserves, to be loved and respected just like everyone else. Most women wonder how to get out of a relationship like this...you are lucky he is the one who left. Take advantage of it, go back to school or college, and learn to be dependent upon yourself, not a man. Someday, when you are more self-sufficient, secure, and independent you will meet the right man to make a life with, for you and your son. Your son needs to come first, he's the innocent victim here. He deserves your undivided attention and love, and you can't do that thinking about his loser of a Dad. Focus on bettering you and son's lives, not on something that is better left gone.

Answer 4

This is what happens when women put out so easily. You werent used you just gave it all away. The real question is did you learn anything from it? Im not trying to be mean and I do care but you need to put the responsibility of your own actions on yourself. The way to know if a man loves you is to wait until marriage.
But you can take him to court about the child support so get an attorney.

Answer 5

if your sons father doesnt want to be with you i understand your hurting but it will only get worse if you try to make him care,he doesnt(im sorry)he is doing all this to hurt you so that you will leave him alone,you dont deserve to be treated like a dog you are to good for that,even though it hurts you ,you must go ahead with your life and do not let this man take away your self esteem there is to many others that would love and appreciate you,the secrets you have told him were in confidence so when someone ask you about them tell them it must be the drugs talking because you didnt know anything about it let it go/it will be hard and hurt i am sure but what he is doing now is only hurting you more.....good luck and God Bless

Answer 6

I know a guy that will dispose of the body after you have this moron you talk about killed!! Seriously, you should just forget about the abusive jerk and move on to someone that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated-like a lady! And to make you feel better about yourself why don't you tell him to stop bothering you and go get a life someplace else! If you dump his *** you will feel sooooo much better, on several different levels! First and foremost you will have gotten rid of an abusive guy that you don't need in your life, and your son will eventually figure out the truth and be proud of you for what you did! Honest!

Answer 7

If I was you I'd be happy that he was nowhere around. You deserve a lot better than him. Go through the courts to get your child support and if he doesn't want to see his kid I'd say the kid would be better off too that way he doesn't have to be exposed that kind of lifestyle. Your son will grow up to be a better man without him than with him if that is the type of man this guy is, the type who cheats and hits women. You can always meet a new guy to be a good role model to your son. Kids role models don't always have to be parents but you'd be a good role model to your son for not contributing to exposing him to this type of lifestyle with his dad in this condition. This man needs help and until he gets it you should move on and if later on he wants to you back but you have moved on - his loss right. Good luck.

Answer 8

This person is not WORTH your love. This problem is within YOU, rather than him. Those we choose to include in our lives, and especially those of our children, should be WORTH our love and respect, having earned it. Do not allow anyone in your lives that cannot offer you anything real, emotionally. This person will only further your own detriment and the fact that you allow it to happen says that you feel in some way you are not worth more. If you cannot make this decision for yourself, make it for your son. Sometimes we have to FIND family, in life, rather than allow ourselves to be harmed by the family we are born to. Wouldn't it be better for both of you to detatch from this person, and see how you do alone for awhile, finding love and support from a source where it is freely given, from someone who WANTS to love you? Don't you want your son to know that kind of love? Also, the only way this person will ever change is if he sees the consequences of his actions. By remaining with him, you are in effect, giving him permission to treat you badly, and furthering his descent into abusive and addictive behaviors. You are saying, "It's okay that you hit me, It's okay that you use drugs, I will still be here." Is that the message you want to send? Give him NOTHING more. He will either change, on his own, or he will not, and there is nothing you can do to alter that anyway.

Answer 9

Honey, I think you already know the answer to this question. What earthly reason is there to want an abusive guy on drugs? He already got what he wanted from you and only cares about himself and his habit. He doesn't want you in his life and will only bring more trouble and possibly tragedy to you and your son. Your responsibility is now to your son who needs a stable, healthy home environment, not one in chaos with a druggie in it. Close the door on him and never open it again. You may be in love with a pretty face or body, or perhaps in love with the idea of being in love. Drop kick him out of your life and be very glad to be rid of him. It is better to be alone than abused in any way by a bad man.

Answer 10

Ok, this is sad, but pretty straight forward. No one deserves to be abused, physically or emotionally. You should never settle for anything less than a relationship with someone who loves and respects you.

Your son's father has serious problems (drugs and anger management). These are issues that you cannot help him with, he needs professional help. You can't pay attention to anything he says because he isn't in his right state of mind, of course he's "confusing".

He doesn't "love" or "respect" you or he wouldn't do the things he's done to you. He is doing nothing but destroying your self-esteem. He's dangerous physically and emotionally and you need to stay away from him.

For your son to become a well-adjusted and successful adult, he needs a better example. You need to do whatever it takes to ensure this happens. You need to put your son's welfare above your own. If you can't do this for yourself, please do it for your son.

I wish you well.