what's it like being in a relationship with a alcoholic?

Question

How do you feel about your family had an alcoholic?
Do you feel shamful?
Would you treat that in a serect?
Please I want true story.

Answer 1

If the alcoholic is recovering, keep it a secret unless he/she is ready to be open about it. If it's a practicing alcoholic, it is defenetly tough. Alcoholism isn't just about what drinking does to someone...it's a mental as well. SO when the alcoholic is sober he usually goes through severe mood wings. Shameful? No. There's nothing to feel shame about.
If you are in a relationship with an alkie and it's affecting you, try Al-Anon, it's a support group for people that have alcoholics in thier lives.

Answer 2

My father was an alcoholic. A functioning alcoholic, he owned his own business, was active with rotary club, and in the community. At home, he was inconsistent, we never knew what to expect. He ended up leaving my Mom and disappearing for a while. It's been about 25 years since he left and in the past couple years, he's reconnected with me. I think of him more as an acquaintance than a father, but I am glad he came around and wanted to be part of my life.
So, you'd think I'd have learned, right? Nope, I married one too. He's a recovered, and I don't take any crap from him as this is concerned.
Am I shameful...heck no...I don't have the problem.
A secret...no, that would egg him on and free him of dealing with it. It's his problem, not mine.
I did quite a few years of al-anon, counselling, and reading about alcoholics and feel pretty comfortable in my situation now. Everyone picks there battles and unfortunately (or fortunately???), this is one that I'm comfortable with. There are alot of issues that I see women deal with that I couldn't and I'm sure there are people out there who feel bad for me, but we work through things. We talk. We are aware of the obstacles in front of us. And with that as ammo...we will survive!

Answer 3

I have been in a relationship with an alco for the past 6 years after my husband died of cancer, my children (all teenagers) have accepted this man as a father figure, he had been a family friend for 20 years, yes he had a drinking problem before, but his ex wife the money hungry, unfaithful, deceitful person she was, drove him to drink. How wrong I was! This man has totally desytroyed my family, he has humiliated us and embarrased us beyond belief. he is a professional man capable of earning in excess of $3000 per week, he lives with me and my family, I own my own home and own business and I am totally financially secure without him. I get calls to say he has been picked up by the ambos after someone thought he was dead under a tree after he disappeared for 3 weeks on a binge. A call from the local club to say come and get him he has been asleep in the car in the carpark for 2 weeks, he stinks is covered in faecies and urine and they can no longer stand the smell. I bring him home dry him out put up with his fits ( siezures) get him healthy again, then he does it all again, take him to AA they only teach him how to be sneakier with hiding his grog, take to the d & a councillors and while I think he is there he is really at the pub across the road. Try Home detox only to find him popping the pills when I'm not watching as they give him that drunken feeling. As I write this he has been gone since last Monday, I found him tonight asleep in the car at the local club carpark again, he is wet through (urine ) and as skinny as ? I tried to awaken him & couldnt so I took his beer from him and took the coil lead off the car to stop him from driving He just got his licence back after 4 years for plowing through a school pedestrian crossing and knocking down the signs, wislt trying to get to the loca;l bottle shop before I got home. So to answer your questions Do I feel shameful- definately!
Treat it in secret_ I used to not anymore, pepole look down on me and I dont have the problem, now I tell them the truth, most of the time.
Will I let him back again - probably! will my family & friends call me an idiot again- definately! so why do I keep letting him back knowing that he will only do it again?- because If I dont TRY to help hime who else will, i feel sorry for him, will I tomorrow I dont know. I dont hate him I hate what he does.

Answer 4

I am an alcoholic in recovery. You can check out my blog below for my story...and a lot of the healing that has taken place in the last year. It is a disease, and it needs to be treated like one. It isn't anything to be ashamed about...it just needs to be addressed and accepted by the alcoholic...

and until the alcoholic is ready to take responsibility to work on his/her issue, there isn't anyone to work on but yourself and your own growth.

Answer 5

Well when my husband and I started to date he hid his drinking and it started to come out when he would hang out with his friends. He would get very depressed about his mom dying and how his whole family screwed him over. I treat it like a secret, because my husband doesn't seem like an alcoholic. His whole family let him drink at a young age and his grandfather died of alcoholism. So he was shown it was okay to drink. We still see it everytime we see them. drinking all the time. They are very moody, and hardly to live with. I do feel shameful, because I felt like I was tricked and he told me he didn't drink alcohol. Here I am clean cut, I don't like alcohol, cigarettes, drugs. I'm dealing with the complete opposite of me. It's tough, but I got him to stop smoking cigs, now it's the beer intake to limit.

Answer 6

there's diff degrees of alcoholics. some can drink every night but not be flippin drunk, just a little more than buzzed. and some will drink till morning every day and be totally out of control. the first kind is alright and the second kind is just sad. someone who has no will power or self control. i know a guy like the first drinker i described, and there's no difference from a sober guy who never drinks.

Answer 7

I married an alcoholic--thought he would change. Tried counseling and everything to save our marriage. Nothing worked. He began to be verbally, mentally and physically abusive. Glad I got out in time before he may have killed me. There is no reasoning with these kinds of people. They always seem to choose alcohol over someone who truely loves them--then it tooo late.

Answer 8

My ex husband was an alcoholic and he was a very mean drunk.he went to jail several times was abusive towards me and the children.he was2 people when sober not too bad.He tried treatment aa the works,but to no avail.it just got worse ,.I left after he hurt me and my kids for the last time. I got a restraing order against him.To make a long story short he drank himself to death .it was a horrible time.I lost a child because of him.I'd never go there again.Dont like drinking,i saw the results,not very pretty.

Answer 9

My father and his siblings went to work at an early age because their father was an alcoholic and drank up his money. My father and his siblings never drank and I promised myself years ago that I would never drink and/or get involved with an alcoholic and that's a promise I've kept.

Answer 10

I am one. I only started drinking in my late 30's. My Dad was a drunk and most of my Mom's brothers were also. My parents had 5 kids(3 boys and 2 girls). Me and my sister are the only ones who drink. I am not proud of that fact. I dont hide the fact that I am a drunk. Unless you have walked in the shoes you would not understand. Keep your head up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!