How do you know if you are really in love??

Question

My boyfriend and i have been living together for a year we have been together for 2. a lot of stuff has happened between us and i know i love him but i dont know if that "spark" is still there...We fight all of the time and i feel like i am trapped most of the time. He is not abusive he just makes me feel guilty for everything i do like if i want to go out with friends or hang out with a guy friend. how do u know if ur in love or just love someone cuz they have been in your life so long? does this happen to everyone or just me? and he does a lot of things for me....for example fixes my car, drives me to work, helps with bills, makes dinner, etc. Sometimes i just feel i stay cuz i have no where else to go. i am so confused please help

Answer 1

From what you've said, I would say that you are not in love, and neither is he. Doing nice things some of the time doesn't make a person 'the one'. You need to find your 'one'.

True love is about, oh gosh, so much. It's hard to describe. It's about loving unconditionally. Giving without expecting, but receiving just the same. It's about being able to give your whole self and receiving the same in return. Basically, when true love finds you, you WILL know.

Someone up there ^ said that it's not true that all couples fight, and they are right. Fighting is no good. Not agreeing on everything IS normal, but it doesn't have to be an argument or fight.

Answer 2

First I just wanted to comment on the fact that you said he is not abusive, but yet, he makes you feel guilty when you want to do things with guy friends or any of your friends for that matter. THAT is abusive and detrimental on any relationship and person. There should be a mutual understanding between the two of you and both of us should respect each other's needs and wants especially if it's not doing any "harm" to either of you. And "Jealously" is not what I am referring to.

The fact that you feel you are trapped, IS abusive. It sounds almost as if you are with him because of the guilt of hurting his feelings or making him upset if you leave...OR for security reasons, such as the fact that he helps pay your bills, and etc. Please do not let that be the reason you stay. You will be miserable in that case, and I definitely wouldn't want that for you!

Yes, I do think you can love someone, especially if you've been with the person for awhile...but that doesn't mean you are IN love. Well...are you in love...you ask. I've learned that when you are truly IN love with someone, your heart could never even fathom a doubt about it! You know how some older folks say..."you just know?" I've found out that it is true. You know and when you know, NO PERSON could EVER tell you differently. You are so in love with that individual that you feel the depth of love deep in your soul and heart. It is unmistakenable! Trust me when I say that. So to answer your question whether you're in love or not, I can't. But you can search within yourself, and in your heart...and find that answer for yourself. Just remember that loving someone is different from being "in love" with someone.

To me, it doesn't sound like your relationship is too healthy, especially if you two fight all of the time! Don't wear yourself out sweetheart, you have a life to live and happiness to feel...and there are other men out there who are willing to cook and pamper their women more than what you could ever imagine, so don't think that you are limited to the one you have. You can have and you can do better. It starts NOW!

I hope the best for you and many blessings.

Take care,
Liah

Answer 3

If you feel that you are staying because you have no where else to go then you are NOT in love. Move on and find some one who will make you happy all the time. Spending time apart is what makes the heart grow fonder. If he doesn't like you going out with other people, maybe it's because he's feeling guilty for something he's done, or that he's afraid you might leave him. I have found that even though I have been with my husband for two years I still can't wait to get home and see him. My grandmother always told me that when my grandfather walked in the room she would get butterflies in her stomach. (They were together for over 50 years before he passed.) Sounds corny, but I feel the same way about my husband.

Answer 4

I'd hit the roof if my live in girlfriend announced she was going out to hang out with a guy friend.

It sounds like you are too young for something serious and you have a lot ofliving still to do. You love him, but at the same time resent him for holding you back.

I suggest taking a break and seeing other people to get some things out of your system.

Answer 5

All of your feelings sound like it isn't love, Sometimes we try to hold on to things that we are comfortable with because it is habit and habits are hard to break, good or bad. He can be all the things you think you want in life and you can still not love him. Quite possibly, you just want to love him because he IS a good person and offers you what you want or need. Search your heart, not your head, your heart will always be true to you but your head will lead you on a wild goose chase if you let it!!

Answer 6

hey well i know how you feel i been in my relationship for 2 years and all we do is fight he is preety mean to me sometimes and i just dont know what to do sometimes but i know i love him cause when he touches me i still get those little butterflies and i would do anything for him i always give him my all i would die for taht boy. so just look at your man and take a real good look and see if you still get those same feelings when he does those cute lilttle things he has always done that got you in the begining well i wish you the best of luck

Answer 7

If you feel like you stay just because you have nowhere else to go even sometimes then the relationship is over... at least for you it is. I have no doubt that you love him but you are no longer in love with him in my opinion. Just talk to him and tell him how you truly feel and find somewhere else to go. Good Luck!!!

Answer 8

love is more than just a feeling, it's a choice...there always comes a time in any relationship where the "spark" is gone, but that's why it's called a commitment, coz ur trying to make it work...don't just base everything with how you feel..u might end up making he wrong choices...ones that you might regret later...good luck!

Answer 9

No! I don't think, you love him? But he probably thinks an awful lot about you. You've just gotten use to him being there, for you. You need to grab him? And go somehwere different. Make something special in your Life. To bring that certain-something, bak to where it's suppose to be. Whcih is your Heart. And I think, you've taken your Heart out of it. This can be saved! But it is gona take you to wanna do it. I think he deserves it, don't you?

Answer 10

Maybe you just need a break to reflect on how you feel when he's not around. If you can love him in spite of his imperfections, then you're in love. If there are things you want to change about him that you can't live with if they don't' change, then move on.