What is '' sexual misconduct''?

Question

is sex by itself ''misconduct''? [!?!?!?!]

Answer 1

This is part of Right {Wise) Action, within The Middle Way {The Noble Eightfold Path).

Abstaining from sexual misconduct: he/she avoids sexual misconduct, abstaining from it. He has no intercourse with such persons as are still under the protection of the father, mother, brothers, sisters, or relatives. Does not have intercourse with married women or men, nor with female/male convicts, nor a woman/man that is engaged/promised to another.

The guiding purpose of this precept, from the ethical standpoint, is to protect marital relations from outside disruption and to promote trust and fidelity within the marital union. From the spiritual standpoint, it help curb the expansive tendency of sexual desires and thus is a step in the directon of renunciation, which reaches its consummation in the observance of celibacy binding monks and nuns. But for lay people, the precept enjoins abstaining from sexual relations with an illicit partner. But who, according to Siddhartha Gautama {The Buddha), constitutes as an illicit partner ?
1) A woman who is married to another man. This includes a woman who is not his legal wife, but is generally recognized as his consort, who lives with him or is kept by him or is in some way acknowledged as his partner. All these women are illicit parteners for men other than their own husbands. This class would include a woman engaged to another man. But a widow, or divorced woman is not out of bounds, provided she is not excluded for other reasons.
2) A woman still under protection. This is a girl
or a woman who is under the protection of her mother, father, relatives, or rightful guardians.
This provision rules out elopements or secret marriages contrary to the wishes of the prtecting party.
3) A woman prohibited by convention. This includes close female relatives forbidden as partners by social tradition, nuns, and other women under a vow of celibacy, and those prohibited as partners by the law of the land.

From the other standpoint - for a woman, two kinds of men are considered illicit partners:
1) For a married woman any man other than her husband is out of bounds. Thus a married woman violates the precept if she breaks her vow of fidelity to her husband. But a widow, or a divorcee is free to remarry.
2) For any woman any man forbidden by convention, such as close relatives and those under a vow of celibacy, is an illicit parner.

Besides these, any course of forced, violent, or coercive sexual union constitutes as transgression. But on such a case the violaton falls only on the offender, not on the one compelled to submit.

The Positive Virtue corresponding to the abstinence is, for lay-people, marital fidelity.
Husband and wife should each be faithful and devouted to one another, at peace and content with the relationship, and should never risk a break-up by desiring, or seeking union with another person. The principle does not, however, confine sexual relations to the marital union. It is flexible enough to allow for variations
depending on social convention. The essential purpose is to prevent sexual relations which are harmful/hurtful to others. When responsibly, mature individuals, though unmarried, enter into sexual relationships through free consent, so long as no other person is intentionally harmed,
no breach of the training factor is involved. All that is recommended is that the couple demonstrate loving-kindness, compassion, patience, and faithfulness to one another.
And that the couple is responsible for the consequences of their actions {ie: if the woman becomes pregnant). Buddhists do no harm to anyone.

Ordained monks and nuns, including men and women who have undertaken the eight or ten precepts, are obliged to observe celibacy. They must abstain not only from sexual misconduct, but from all sexual involvements, at least during the period of their vows.

The Holy Life, at its hightest aims are complete purity in thought, word, and deed, and this requires turning back the tide of all sexual desire.

Source: The Noble Eightfold Path {Way to the
End of Suffering).
By: Bhikkhu Bodhi.

Answer 2

Basically anything performed outside of marriage is sexual misconduct,allow there are some things worse than others.