Should I be worried about my 3.5 year old?

Question

Unless he's having me on, he never identifies the letter "A". He always calls it a "4". It does look somewhat like a four, but this is even when we're practicing letters. Similiarly, identifies only 4 or 5 letters 100% of the time. Also, he refuses to use the toilet for BM (he will urinate when prompted). First child, so I have no point of reference with which to compare.

We spend at least 30-45 minutes (in ten minute intervals) a day on letters and numbers & such.

Thank you everyone, I'm overwhelmed by the responses! The general message here is that I should just relax. What a relief! Keep the answers coming, I enjoy reading people's opinions. :)

Answer 1

One fact you can be absolutely certain of is that a child will do whatever seems to work. (from his perspective, of course). If he is doing something you don't like, change your reaction. His behavior will change!

Answer 2

You may be starting alittle early with the letters and numbers, try a teaching website dedicated to preschoolers for suggestions. As for the BM my sis in law was toilet trained at 2 and never wore a diaper again, until she had to have a BM, she would have my mother in law give her a diaper and go into the closet, do her business then get cleaned up and put her underpants back on. Strange yes, she got over it around 4. If you're really concerned, call you MD, they will probably tell you it's nothing to worry about. Every child is different and boys take longer in most cases than girls.

Answer 3

For the potty issue, it's not a developmental problem, until after age of 4. you should let your doc know if after his Bday he still will not got, it could be intestine problems. Also now that he's older, don't use diapers or pull ups, this gives him the right to poo in them if you put them on him. The letters are different, every child learns at their own rate, don't push the issue and make it an unpleasent one or it will only slow things down further. try games that relate to real life.. example: get flash cards of letters take them with you to the grocery store and do 1 or 2 at a time, like if he wants crackers takethe letter C card and have him match them with objects. You could do that at home too, but going out and doing give it more meaning and purpose, like he is a real big kid. Don't worry though he will get it. My daughter is 5 and started kindergarden this year and there were some kids that couldn't even tell you what their names started with. and most of the class still sang the alphabet by saying "ellyomintoP" l m p n o p...lol hang in there, it's a trip. :)

Answer 4

This is normal for his age... most children do not recognize the shapes of letters until the age of 4-5 years. At this age, I would recommend a more lax form of education than structured, sit down for 30-45 minutes, working on letters. Talk about letters you find in your environment, when you are out shopping, point out letters on canned foods, etc. With this less formal way, you are still teaching them recognition, but you aren't turning it into a stressful situation where your child has the opportunity to fail. Think how you would feel being tested everyday on a concept you weren't ready to grasp... you'd be frustrated, disinterested and thinking that you'll never get it. This could also be why he's refusing to use the potty- kids don't do well under pressure. Allow him to take it at his own pace, don't push him so hard. Kids this age don't yet make the distinction between the classification of "letters" or "numbers" yet- these are still very abstract concepts for a person still in the cognitive level of concrete understanding. Identifying 4-5 letters consistently at this age is right on target... he should begin to recognize letters from his name or those important to him (such as mommy or daddy's beginning letters). I have a three year old, as well as have taught three year olds for 14 years in preschool. My own three year old recognizes her first initial and that of her daddy's, mommy's and sister's, and can identify 1,2,3,5. Your son is slightly above the average, right where my daughter is. Don't worry, and don't push so hard. I've never sat down and worked with my three year old on identification of letters, numbers, etc., or with any of the many three year olds I've taught over the years. They all learn at their own pace, and it will click eventually! You can continue to give him a head start by reading to him on a daily basis and pointing out letters and numbers in your environment. At this age, learning should be about fun- not sitting and being tested. Find creative ways to incorporate letters and numbers into your daily life. You can check out www.perpetualpreschool.com for some ideas, or some other preschool based websites. Have fun!!

Answer 5

Ohhhh Pearl !!! He's only 3 1/2 ??? Why does he need to be proficient at letters and numbers now, why not just let him be a beautifull, carefree little boy?? At that age its fantastic he even has the patience and the focus to sit down and even do the study with you!! Just use general life teachings at this stage. The formality of revision has the rest of hislife to arrive. You're doing a brilliant job sweety but don't you think you're being just a bit too keen ??? He sounds like a very sweet, intelligent little boy to me. I don't think you have anything at all to worry about. My baby boy just turned 5 and started school a couple of weeks ago and he's having a blast !! Took most of the last three weeks for him to settle but I can't believe how quickly his speech has improved since he's been in school. My point is that every child has their own rate of growth, just go with the flow you guys are doing just fine.....................

As far as potty training goes, don't worry about him he'll get the knack of it when he's ready.

PEACE


......... :0)

Answer 6

Wow - you're doing great by teaching him early. I think the recognition is fine, especially with number 4 and the letter A. They really are close. As far as potty training, join the club. Children will do it when they are ready - don't worry. Plus, all children are SO different. My 3 all started potty, letter, recognition, numbers, etc. at different times so throw any references you have as to what kids do at a specific time out of the window. Good luck!

Answer 7

Well try to play games with numbers-count things like his hot wheels cars, how many windows in your house,how many cars can you see out the front window, how many red things in the living room. Make a sign for his room, put his name on it and the letter A and the number 4 show him how your house has a number and now his room has a number the letter number combination -A4- wont take him long -hes still young!! Dont worry about it yet.

Answer 8

i'd say quit pushing him so hard on his letters. yikes. It seems any more kids don't get to be kids. My son is 8 and he was in preschool, etc.... but at some point you realize teachers, schools, etc, push kids too much these days. they focus on test scores and not the kid. He'll get it all - and then you'll wonder where the time went.

Answer 9

he will catch on. trust me when i say that. We have four little boys and i know what you mean lol. dont push him, hes completly normal and will catch on when hes ready. Our son is 4 (november baby) and he knows a few letters, but definitly not all of them, he knows basic colors, not all of them lol, and he can write his name, Hes really good at writting it backwards lol. His name is COY and his c usually looks like a n but hes a smart smart boy!!! Just give it time! Your son is perfectly fine and will catch on when hes ready and he will shock you :)

Answer 10

I think he is very smart and just teasing you (you have one very intelligent boy there), he is playing with you (because he found out that it is very important for you and just want to play with you) don't worry my dear just relax give him some time, don't pressure him with that particular lessen you want to teach him. just ignore that for a while and he will come around.