Background info:
My sister and her family lives in Japan and can only visit for long extended stays during the summers (she's a teacher).
My fiance and I LOVE autumn in Chicago...want a wedding October 4th, 2008.
As you can see....that's not a summer month. So the chances that my one and only sister (who I'd love to make a bridesmaid) and my lil nephew (my ringbearer) are very slim.
Both parents continue to say "Why can't you have your wedding in the summer?" Summers in Chicago are comparable to hell....high humidity, lots of tourists, and so many weddings to compete with.
My sister said she has a long weekend on October 4th....so she could possibly fly in Thursday and then leave on that Sunday (but coming from Japan...that's no easy feat). My sister said "Monica, don't let me dictate when you should have your wedding...but to think I would miss my only sister's wedding."
Ughhh...what do I do? Summer '08 or October '08. I love my sister! I love autumn!
2007-02-21 02:47:30 · 40 answers · asked by bubbadoy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It really is YOUR day, but please consider this carefully.
If you have a fall wedding, will it still be great without your sister there to share it with. Remember that you and your sister have to live half a world away. And for the rest of your life, you may regret that she wasn't there to hold you and help you prepare to walk down the aisle.
This is a decision that will be remembered by you for the rest of your life. Every time you flip through your photos, you will remember this day. Be prepared for how you will feel if your sister is not going to be a part of that.
Very importantly, you said that she could fly in Thursday and leave Sunday. I don't see the problem. I live in Taiwan, and I have had to fly back to Canada many time for only two or three days. It's not easy, and she may feel exhausted afterward, but it might be the best solution.
2007-02-21 03:43:02 · answer #1 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I work in the hotel industry as a revenue manager so let me fill you in on a secret. No one travels the week before Labor Day. Mostly because everyone is planning on traveling Labor Day weekend, so they stay at home. It can be devasting for the resorts, because the weather can be gorgeous and we can be only half as full as we usually are. Just a helpful hint. Chicago should be kind of boring, and if you talk to the sales department in the hotels, they should work with you on out of town rates for that particular weekend. Oh, and October is a busy month for conventions, so hotels will be busy, just FYI.
And about your sister, let me tell you something that a recently married friend just told me. If a wedding was really all about the bride and groom, we'd elope in freakin' Vegas, or wherever we wanted to go. But it's not. It's about celebrating your marriage with the people that mean the most to you. And your sister certainly sounds important. I'm not saying to cater to her, but bending a little to make sure she can be there is really something that's important for your relationship. Your not going to look back on your wedding photos and say gee, I sure do wish we'd done it in October. Those 6 weeks or so would have made all the difference.
You would have wished your sister was there.
Just my opinion.
2007-02-21 05:02:07 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated a marine stationed in Japan and traveling such a long distance just to have to turn around so quickly is a lot, especially when traveling with a child. So, I can definitely understand your dilemma. I love fall as well and was married in October. But I also have only 1 sister and I know my wedding wouldn't have been the same if she couldn't have been there. You could always plan a wedding in the summer and then go on a romantic fall retreat with your husband. But if you definately want a fall wedding, plan it for October 4th since your sister will try to make it then. Just don't be too disappointed if she's not able to make the trip.
2007-02-21 02:55:35 · answer #3 · answered by Veronica W 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
You find a place that has REALLY GOOD air conditioning, and you have your wedding in June or July or at the very latest August. I've been in Chicago in July. And while it is gross and muggy, it can also be pleasant, if you get close to the lake.
You would be expecting FAR TOO much of your sister to fly THOUSANDS of miles to be in your wedding for a couple of days.
Think of it this way....there's an Autumn every year, but you only get married once. If you want your sister in the wedding, you suck it up and do it when your sister and her family can be in attendance COMFORTABLY.
Final words of advice: Don't be a Bridezilla....and this is exactly where this could be headed.
2007-02-21 03:18:21 · answer #4 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but autumn comes every year, and a sister is a one of a kind person who is irreplacable. Her reason is a very good one-I mean its not like she's being unreasonable. Wouldn't your wedding be indoors anyway? So who cares about the heat? And if you have the wedding late summer, she'll be there to help you plan the final things, and that'll be a wonderful memory you'll have for a lifetime, and I'd bet you'd cherish that alot more than some pretty leaves...I'm all in favor of Fall, but honestly, your sister is more important--and it's 08-you should have absolutely no problem booking things at this early date.
2007-02-21 03:02:49 · answer #5 · answered by melouofs 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It's a hard call. If your sister is willing to make the trip for Oct. although your right that is going to be such a long flight for just the weekend. So if you do it in Oct. she will only be here for that one day. however if you do it in the summer, she will truley be able to help with all the planning, and she'll be able to be here for the bridal shower, and the bachlorette party. I say have the wedding in the summer. Because you won't be missing out on anything you'll still get to experience autum, but if you have it in Oct you'll be missing out on having your sister be part of your wedding. I'm from Chicago, I think the summers can be hot, but just as the autum weather can be very unpredictable.
2007-02-21 03:47:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you really want your sister there, then have it when she can attend. Your wedding will still be your wedding no matter what month. It will still be as spectacular as you imagine it if its in the summer rather than fall...actually it will be better since your sister will be there! Have it in the evening so its a little cooler outside... I am afraid that if you have it in the fall and your sister isn't there, you will regret it forever! You won't have any pics of the two of you in your wedding dress, she won't be standing next to you for the most important time in your life, and you won't be able to relive the memories of that day with her... Have it in the summer...having her there is more important than the season... =0) good luck with your decision!
2007-02-21 04:34:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well to tell you the truth I would pick the Oct. date. This is something you really want. Your sister has over a year to explain to her job that she will be in her sisters wedding in October. Most employers will understand and let her have the time off. She is you sister, but this is YOUR DAY! Go with the October date and have your sister talk with her employer to see if they can work with her so she can be present at your wedding and also be your bridesmaid.
I had family come from Germany for my wedding and all they had was 3 months notice. We decided we were getting married in August and stuck with it. Like others have said, people will jump over mountains to be there for you special day so Have it in Oct. and let your sister know that and tell her to try and work something out with her job.
Best of Luck!!!
2007-02-21 03:31:50 · answer #8 · answered by mstigger_78 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I couldn't imagine not having my sister in my wedding, or even at my wedding, regardless of the distance. If it were me I would suck it up and try and pick a day in the summer that is least likely to be scortching hot or humid...maybe early summer? I would say that family comes first and that you may regret this in the future and realize the month or day doesn't matter, it is all about family. That is what you will remember.
2007-02-21 04:34:30 · answer #9 · answered by Kiki 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is far enought in the future see if your sister can possibly plan to take a week off for you wedding so she can come to Chicago for the wedding. Her enployer may understand and be more apt to let her take some additional days off if she asks now. If they say NO then do what feels right to you. If that is getting married with out her there then so be it. After all it is you wedding and not your sisters or your Moms.
2007-02-21 03:49:22 · answer #10 · answered by 2littleiggies 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋