My boyfriend and I have been together 1 and a half years and I love him with all my heart. We are great together, completely in love and care so much for each other. Everything is great besides the fact that our religeous differences are going to tear us apart. He is an active christian, going to church ever sunday, plans to start going every wednesday and friday too to be a youth leader. I am not sure what I am, I believe in god, I believe I am doing right by him, I pray for help and guidence and thanks, I guess I just don't like the social aspect of religion. I would rather just continue what I am doing and not goto church on sunday. And I don't mind that he goes on sunday, but he minds that I don't/ I also would be quite uncomfortable with him being so involved in the church if he decides to do the wednesday, friday thing. Please is there anyone who made it through similar differences? How? What can I do, any advice is very appreciated, I don't want to lose what we have.
2007-02-21 02:38:35 · 11 answers · asked by Vanessa 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Until he died two years ago, my mother's next door neighbors were married for 57 years. She was the devout follower in the family, spending at least as much time with the church as your boyfriend wants to, plus she taught Bible school, was church secretary, and many other things as well.
He was an atheist all his life. Yes, it can happen, but everyone has to want it to, and work on it. It won't be easy, but if you love each other anything is possible. Good luck.
***Vanessa, he went to church with her every Sunday without fail out of respect for her and her beliefs. He bowed his head while she said Grace, and he gave of himself in so many other little ways. She in turn was respectful of him, and was a dutiful wife and mother. It may seem a little one-sided, but sometimes that's necessary in life. It's called compromising, and it's not always fair, but that's just how life is. If something is worth having, then it's worth working for. The only way your relationship will work is if both of you decide to give a little to the other. You'll need to sit down and talk about a lot of things before that can happen.
2007-02-21 02:43:35 · answer #1 · answered by iamnoone 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The best advice that I can give is go with him you may just need to step out and see how it will be. I hope that you do, it is a great thing to both be involved in this together, it will Strengthen your relationship so much more. Don't be afraid to join up, if he has intentions of being a youth Pastor that is a great thing and will require dedication, and for you relationship to be able to withstand conflict you have to except that, I believe that you would enjoy it and would gain great understanding from it too.
I totally understand you out look of the social aspect of it, this is something that you need to over come, not just for him but for you. There are many reasons that we should attend church, not just for a social function, but to grow in Gods Word, gain understanding. If you think about it you believe in God, you know that Christ is the Head of the church and that the church is the House of God then it may help you want to get there. Good Luck on this, get involved with him, give yourself the opportunity to find out for your self whole heatedly.
2007-02-21 02:52:52 · answer #2 · answered by CJ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
One of the three or more reasons i stopped going to church was because I loved someone and i didnt want to be part of that person life to destroy it. So i stopped going hoping not to be seen in connection with evil. I had hoped she would grow up and likewise declare her love for me, but I believe the church spoiled my name despite my faith and testimony. So, i am alone, and will be till the day i die.
Young people can fall in love so easy, and in many cases fall in love with the wrong guy/girl. Some pretend to be in love so they can deflower girls while others Do much more Evil and wicked things. Marriage is not the entire Save-all protection against evil but when a woman joins to her husband SHE is asked by God to submit to HIM and his ways. If she cannot do this, then she must find someone else she can.
while going to church is not required for Social reasons, it is however a place to go to edified ONE of another and to Grow in righteousness and faith. I think it is hypocritical to go to church so you Gossip with freinds as the ONLY reason. Jesus condemned the pharisees who LIKE to be SEEN in high places. And who liked to wear long robes. But if your boyfreind has a position of responsibility that helps Others Grow in Faith, he is doing a good work, hopefully people will believe because of anyone who does such work, and at the same time be not like the pharisees or ever be a false teacher.
2007-02-21 02:51:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
She believes Christmas is on Jan seventh. She has a suitable to that theory in simple terms as you renowned Christmas on Dec. twenty 5th. in case you sense this is inaccurate so which you will have fun on January seventh then do no longer despite the fact that it appears that evidently such as you have celebrated on the two days in the previous so she might in all hazard question you sincerity. It does not look an argument for you. despite the fact that it kind of feels that it could be against her faith to have fun on the twenty 5th. do no longer assume her to alter her ideals, in simple terms comprehend which you have diverse ideals and appreciate each and each others judgements.
2016-10-16 04:17:25 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being unequally yoked in a relationship is going to be an issue for even the most earnest of couples. If your boyfriend is not making any issues of your beliefs, then maybe you have a chance. But my years of experience (married for 25 years) tells me that eventually your boyfriend's faith will grow even deeper and you will begin to feel more isolated from him as he practices his faith. I urge you both to discuss these issues before the relationship moves towards marriage.
2007-02-21 03:00:26 · answer #5 · answered by Ask Mr. Religion 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, you have 3 choices:
1. Suck it up and go to church on Sunday and/or compromise on when you will attend.
2. He sucks it up, and has faith in your faith and agrees not to nag you about it or let it come between you.
3. Find some one different.
I recommend that the two of you talk about it and come to a mutual compromise, realizing the importance of your relationship.
2007-02-21 02:54:15 · answer #6 · answered by Pirate AM™ 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm afraid that this smells like trouble. Many problems can be solved by rational discouse, but religion is innately irrational, and rational discourse is ineffective -- or just plain impossible. You are probably better off with someone whose beliefs are more parallel to your own. In the meantime, I suggest that you read the reference, and then re-appraise your own views; this process will contribute to your self-understanding, whether or not it changes your views on religion.
2007-02-21 02:46:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
he needs to give a little. he can pray for you and go to church, but he needs to lighten up on you going to church. going with him once in a while on a Sunday won't hurt you either. either you compromise and agree to disagree or you won't be able to stay together. there will be too much conflict.
2007-02-21 02:45:28 · answer #8 · answered by wendy_da_goodlil_witch 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Your talking to the wrong person(people). You need ti sit down & have this discussion with him. If you can't find a common ground then you may need to part ways. You can't change someone and if you try to do so you will be dissappointed. Talk to him & explain your self. I wish you luck
2007-02-21 02:52:14 · answer #9 · answered by tire chick 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
One or both of you will have to compromise.. alot..
2007-02-21 02:47:17 · answer #10 · answered by XX 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋