At my stepsons birthday party the children were upstairs in the playroom playing when my 5 year old touched his 11 year old cousins breast. It seems to me that everyone is making a big deal of this. I just want to know how normal is this and how concerned should I be?
2007-02-21 02:19:25 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
5 is kinda old to be touching them. I have never heard of a 5 year old doing it. Talk to him and find out why he did it and explain again about good touching and bad touching.
2007-02-21 02:24:47 · answer #1 · answered by sassssy 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
The bigger deal that is made the more likely is that he will do it again! He is only 5.. he is still learning what is right and wrong and why he should not do certain things.. To say that a five year old should know what to touch and not to touch is very ignorant.. he is still a little person and cannot always remember the things he has been taught when in new and exciting situations.. This is not weird it is called discovery that's what little kids do.. I would just calmly explain to him that this is not appropriate and in our house we have certain conscIEnces when things are done that should not be done (ie. time outs, spanking for extreme things) This can also be explained to him that doing something like that can result in a bad conscience (which you ensure is followed up on if it happens again) maybe for you this could be going home right away as I am sure he loves playing with his cousins.
I hope this helps and do not worry its not that big a deal! for gosh sakes he is only 5!
2007-02-21 02:29:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No big deal. It's not appropriate either however. Obviously he learned that behaviour somewhere, and I'd be finding out from where or whom, but he's 5 and people who make a big deal of it reminds me of the saying "me thinks thou dost protest too much" and makes me wonder why they are making such a deal of it other than to make you look bad perhaps.
Teach your son that people have private parts, where they are, and by no means should he ever touch someone else's privates, nor should anyone ever touch his. Then if he does repeat this, take away one of his favourite toys or something for a week or more depending, and make him understand there are serious consequences for inappropriate behaviour.
You shouldn't make light of the situation either for the girl, as it must have been very embarassing for her and it's sexual harrassment whether it's an old man or a young child. Your stepson should also apologize if he hasn't, and all you should say is I will have a talk with him and make sure it doesn't happen again and then let it go. If people keep harping about it tell them to go fly a kite.
Children will naturally explore sex and other kids will put them up to dares etc. It doesn't have to be the end of world nor does it mean much, unless it becomes repetitive and you start seeing other problems developing with your child. Recognize however, that it can be very humiliating to the child who is the victim of that, especially if the act was done in public.
2007-02-21 02:34:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
He's 5 for goodness sakes, a breast is no more sexual to him than an arm or foot. Unless the 11 year old is trying to get your 5 year old to touch her breast, it shouldn't be a big deal. Also, if the 11 year old is that sensitive, explain to her that a little child like that sees to difference in the body parts. This will help her to understand it is not a sexual violation, as it would be from an adult.
If your new step family is that concerned about sex and children, there might be a lot more going on there than you know about. Question why they are so sensitive, is there a lot of history of child molestation in that family? Then you might be able to understand their sexual fears.
2007-02-21 02:30:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's not a big deal. Just explain to him that a lot of people like their privacy and don't like to be touched there. He's only 5 and he's still learning about social interaction and taboos. If he was 13 then I could understand the fuss but it's only a 5 year old boy for goodness sake.
2007-02-21 04:32:51 · answer #5 · answered by Velvet_Goth 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a five year old, doesnt realise this can be a sexual act, they probably just wanted to touch something soft and didn't realise the embarrassment caused. people shouldnt make an uproar of this otherwise it is teaching shame and guilt where there shouldnt be, instead, a quiet word explaining that it is her breasts and shouldnt be touched because they are her private area should be what happens. Teaching a child that it is BAD is only punishing natural behaviour rather than re-guiding it, and may lead to a fascination with touching peoples parts BECAUSE it is seen as naughty.
It is normal to be curious, just make sure he realises it is not common practice to randomly touch each other.
2007-02-21 02:28:49 · answer #6 · answered by Loveangel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is a big deal. It's not a good idea to make a big deal out of it to the children or they'll think something's wrong. Just discuss with each of them privately that in the future, those body parts are private and shouldn't be shared with others. I would not be concerned unless you find out that there was more going on than that or that this has happened before.
2007-02-21 02:25:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to be curious. Everyone needs to relax!
But now you know that he doing this and now you can deal with it appropriately. Tell him it is inappropriate and that he can make others feel violated or uncomfortable. He's boy for God's sake! Don't freak out. If people are still freakin out, you can say jokingly "well I guess he's a boob guy, haha, but seriously we are concerned parents and are addressing the issue"
2007-02-21 02:55:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Did he grab them and laugh or was he there for awhile and enjoying the moment? I would be willing to bet he copped a feel and laughed and be even more willing to bet that someone put him up to it. Children are curious little beings and are very easily influenced. If someone told him how bad it is to touch breast chances are he wants to touch them. It's no big deal and all the grown ups concerned need to GROW UP! The 11 yr old cousin may need a talking to just to let her know no harm was intended.
2007-02-21 02:30:49 · answer #9 · answered by SoySrtaBonita 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
shes basically 11 and is no longer coming up right into a valuable individual, the tell tale indicators are all there. she is largely a baby as your gran says, end of the day its no longer the 11 year previous's fault your gran is death of maximum cancers - and not something this youngster says could have any enter into the eventual effect of your gran, i wish she lives and pulls via - wish god facilitates out. end of the day, you basically could desire to post with this to three quantity - whilst shes sixteen and he or she hasnt replaced or shes replace into particularly complicated to stay with it, supply her an ultimatum - replace your techniques or wander away. in line with danger shes behaving the way she is for some unknown reason ? interest searching for in line with danger ? i dont be attentive to - you're turning out to be a greater valuable concept as shes your cousin no longer ours, you be attentive to her interior out. slapping a 11 year previous cos of comments like which will in no way be efficient and could added strengthen her undesirable outspoken mean behaviour. so sidestep if u can.
2016-10-02 12:09:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might have been exposed to something inappropriate, either on TV or in real life, and he is immitating what he saw. Ask him why he did it and he might be able to lead you to the culprit so that you can eliminate the problem for the future. Meanwhile, a stern reprimand that it is never okay to touch another person's personal parts - and also it is never okay for someone else to touch him in those areas - should do the trick.
2007-02-21 02:33:41 · answer #11 · answered by ♥Lucky♥ 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋