my fiance is very abuse (physically mentally ang financialy) and we have a 2 yr old.i want to leave him but if i try he'll lose control and become abusive. i need help. please anybody with advice please tell me what you think i should do. thank you
2007-02-21 02:16:28 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Plan ahead of time but act normal to him... The minute he leaves for work get all that you can and go to a women's shelter. I am sure you have other places to go yet go there so that you & your child can be protected. You can do this... Send some strong man to pick up the rest of your belongings if you need to..
Or you can go to the police- and get a restraing order- GET OUT FIRST... ask the police what you should do next. If I have any family members or friends in another state, I would be heading that way...
Be careful don't leave any traces like phone calls, notes, internet, etc.. that he can check up on you or find out things... If you are employed- its best you notify your employer about this and give them a picture of him.. He might try to follow you if he knows your routine..(like you visiting your parents, daycare, shopping, etc..) Change your routine! Notify your family & friends and tell then you are in hid out (give them a # so they won't worry about you). Please what ever you do DON"T notify any of his family & friends you never know.. You also need to proctect the child, if he is allowed contact you will never get rid of him..(Ask the police what you can do- that way they have it on record and if he wants rights to the child the judge will see the police reports).
I am sorry you are going through this.. Don't run back to him though.. You & your 2 yr old deserve better... I hate this crap I wish I was there to help you............
2007-02-21 02:30:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First I would like to say I am very sorry for the situation your in. It is hard to leave someone who is abusive. The one thing you have to remember is if you don't do it then in the long run it can get a lot worse. If you do leave him now it will be hard for a little bit but later it will get easier and you will be glad you did it. If you are really afraid for you life then I suggest you go to the police and if you have a family member you can stay with then you need to go there and stay with them. It might not be easy but its the best thing. I wish you the best of luck and I hope some of what I said has helped.
2007-02-21 02:55:01 · answer #2 · answered by Jenny 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in this same situation!!! Yes, I agree with the person who said wait till he's gone and pack up and move out because that is JUST what I did. Don't look back and keep ur head held high because NO ONE deserves to be hit on!!! This is not a good situation for ur daughter to be in!! Think about the impact it will have on her in the future if u continue to let this go on!! And whatever u do DON'T take him back. It seems like they have a pattern of saying " I'm sorry and will never do it again" WRONG--they always go back to being there old self and it only get's worse!!!!! good luck and get out now!
2007-02-21 02:24:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get out of there pronto and do it today. Call the human services in your area and find out what can be done. Ask if there are any women's shelters around that you can go to. Also give the police a call and have a restraining order put on him. You do not deserve abuse and he will NEVER get better but he will most likely get more abusive. Get out and do it now.
2007-02-21 02:21:06 · answer #4 · answered by The_answer_person 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most cities have a shelter for abused women. If you can not find them in a phone book, call 4-1-1 and ask if they can find one for you. Abuse is a cycle that only gets worse. You are right to want to get out, but you have to get to someplace safe. The police will only get involved if you shows signs of physical abuse. My thoughts are with you.
2007-02-21 02:21:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is that bad get the police involved. Get a restraining order against him when it comes to you and your child if he is a danger to the child too. If you have to when he goes to work leave him then. Write him a long letter explaining why you are leaving but don't tell him where you are going and don't go to the first place that your husband would know you would go. Get out fast. You don't want to keep yourself or your child in a life like that cause it's not fair to either of you. Good luck and god bless.
2007-02-21 02:21:46 · answer #6 · answered by poetryprincess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you have bruises on you or anything go to the police and tell them about it make a report they will arrest him and the state will press charges in the mean time call your family get support from them don't talk to him move and get an order against him from the court the hospitals have flyers for abused women and stuff so go to one of those places, soon don't stay in a relationship like that. Good luck and God bless you
2007-02-21 02:22:36 · answer #7 · answered by fuller_0_2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get an order of protection. Right now.
Then move out. Right now.
go to a women's shelter, leave town, anything. Get away from the freak.
Put it this way---your child is growing up thinking THIS is they way relationships between mommies and daddies is supposed to be....do you want your son or daughter to become what you and your fiance already are?
2007-02-21 02:19:57 · answer #8 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Leave when he is not home. Get an EPO on him so that after you leave if he tries to hurt you he will be arrested. Stay with you're family or go to a shelter. There are places that will help you please contact them before you end up 12 ft under. It's not going to get any better only worse. You're baby needs their mother. I will keep you in my prayers. Good Luck.
2007-02-21 03:22:40 · answer #9 · answered by Shorty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave while he's at work. Don't go to any family or friends that he knows about. If you have a joint checking account, clean it out before you go. If you are really scared of him. call the police and get an escort out to a shelter. Good luck.
2007-02-21 03:17:15 · answer #10 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋