My Fiancee was at a bar (not strip club) and had a random waitress sit on his lap and she gave him a kiss on the cheek with his arms wrapped around her (saw this in a picture). We're supposed to be getting married in a little over two weeks. We set ground rules of things that weren't appropriate for the parties. The night of the bachelor party I said no more kisses after he kissed me for the last time. Now his best man has deleted the pictures after I asked for them and it seems to me that they were incriminating pictures or they would still be on the digital camera. Should I cancel/postpone the wedding?
2007-02-21 02:10:20 · 18 answers · asked by HeartBroken 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Do you think he does this kind of thing all of the time? Do you think he'll continue to do it after you get married? Do you think it will get worse later on? These are all things to think about. If you answer yes to them, then I think you should think about how you'll feel being married to a man who acts this way when you're not around. I say, you should act the same away from your spouse or partner that you would if they were standing right there with you and if you wouldn't do these things with them right there, then its probably wrong and you know it.
If you trust that he did nothing wrong and that he won't do anything wrong like that in the future, then don't worry.
Sorry you have to go through all this right before the wedding. I know it can be a stressful time.
2007-02-21 03:40:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the only one who can make that decision, to cancel or postpone the wedding. If the two of you set ground rules about the parties and you feel he has crossed those boundaries you need to talk to him about how you feel. You do not know what happened that night maybe some innocent flirting was going on and he thought that you may be get upset if you saw pics that showed that. If you feel more than that happened or he is not telling you the whole story then it seems that there may be a trust issue. If you feel that he is not being 100% honest and you do not trust him then you have to reevaluate your relationship. Relationships are built on honesty and trust! Good luck!
2007-02-21 10:28:49 · answer #2 · answered by kap 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is tough enough, sounds like you already have trust issues. That said, either get over them, postpone the wedding and/or break it off.
It took my wife and I about 6 years before she completely trusted me and it was only after we got to that point did we discuss and have gotten married. She encouraged me to have a great time with my buddies at my B party and knew there were dancers. We've been married nearly 2 years now and she's never once asked to see the pictures, even though if she did I'd have no problem showing them to her. Regardless of a dancer being in them or not, I nor any of my friends did anything and who cares their just boobs.
Good luck
2007-02-21 11:07:13 · answer #3 · answered by pico_pica81 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's typical bachelor party cruddy behavior. I'm not condoning it, because I've seen utterly ridiculous bachelorette parties, too. No, you should not postpone the wedding. It was a random thing, that waitress incident, and I'm sure she did it because the big group of rowdy guys were going to give her a big tip. I'm betting your fiance' was embarassed, too. He didn't go to a club, there was no stripper, and some guys, unfortunately, think it's funny to push someone's boundaries (your fiance's, for example) a little too far. Harmless and stupid, usually.
Don't let this get to you so much. As for deleting the pictures, why do you need to see pictures of his bachelor party? Stop looking for trouble and drama.
2007-02-21 10:36:55 · answer #4 · answered by Karen? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you think the two of you are going to be happy with each other if you don't trust him or he does stuff that you would get upset about?
You both have issues to work on...not to sound rude or anything...he shouldn't allow himself to engage in behavior that the pics of should be deleted...and you shouldn't have any doubts whatsoever in the trust department.
If more people watched flags like this, there would be less divorces.
Date him...but don't marry him. You'll both be miserable.
There's someone out there for both of you that any of these topics will never even come up....but you're not for each other long term...much less for life.
2007-02-21 10:20:40 · answer #5 · answered by Chick-A- Deedle 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't cancel....please don't cancel. I wouldn't get too worked up about this. Buuuut, you must speak to your fiance! You are getting married soon...and if you cannot communicate to him what makes you upset....then you should not be thinking marriage!
Go up to him, give him a big hug and kiss...and say "I just want to be honest and upfront with you....I was not happy with that picture I saw. What can we do so I know that it won't happen again?" And if he is at all a decent man (a man worth marrying), he will respond calmly and you guys can work out your problems.
And if it gets out of hand....yes, rethink your marriage. Marriage is based on communication...and if you cannot converse like adults....you're not ready.
2007-02-21 10:17:59 · answer #6 · answered by bubbadoy 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you trust him then do not worry, but if his friends wanted to delete the pictures then maybe something more happened, or they were trying to protect your feelings. Talk to your fiance about what you saw, tell him how hurt you are by what you saw. If you do not talk things out with your partner then you will not have a good marriage. Talk to him about this before you get married or it will eat away at you. Good Luck!!!
2007-02-21 10:30:31 · answer #7 · answered by clints_wench 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's kissing other women before the wedding, you can bet he'll be kissing them afterwards. This guy does not seem at all ready for commitment - he readily allowed this other woman to sit on his lap and kiss him?! I wouldn't marry a man like that - I would run from him.
2007-02-21 10:30:10 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont know all of the details of yalls relationship & situation so I cant really tell you. But I know if my husband would of done that to me I would of been ticked! I dont care if it was just for "fun" dont have another girl sit in your lap & kiss on you...Im not really the jealous type but why would he want to do that? That stuff usually leads to bigger & badder stuff...I hope this helps! Good Luck :)
2007-02-21 10:22:24 · answer #9 · answered by She is Beautiful! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, dirt bag. I told my fiance no sluts, strippers, hookers, anything or I will divorce him at our reception, I don't care. This "waitress" qualifies as a big whore. I would dump his *** so fast his head would spin. It's not innocent, it's a big deal, he completly deceived you. I would not marry him because it's obvious he can't be trusted. Typical guy, good luck, you'll find a real man that can be trusted not to do these things, they are out there. In fact, that's one of the huge reasons I'm marring my finace, I didn't even have to lay down the threat with him (of course I did anyway, it's his friends I don't like that will start trouble). Basically it's all about trust and respect and obviously you can't have either with this guy. Dump him and move on.
2007-02-21 10:22:02 · answer #10 · answered by Jersey Style 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋