My boyfriend and I were arguing this morning and he said something that really hurt me to this point, he said " Well people think im stupid for being with you," and now im at work bothered by this, I just moved here to be closer to him, and he says things like that to hurt me. How should I feel? Am I taking it wrong or should I feel hurt by this?
2007-02-21 01:48:08 · 32 answers · asked by Still Standing 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i would be bothered as well. maybe you're the one being stupid for being with him? i am saying that not to hurt you, but how can he say that after u moving to be close to him? hopefully he didnt mean what he said.
2007-02-21 01:51:08 · answer #1 · answered by moniet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, men can forget how their words effect women.
I would take a look at a few things in your relationship before you make any irrational decisions.
1st - what were you arguing about this morning? Did it have anything to do with his friends or your friends?
If not then he was just mentioning comments by others to hurt you and this could be just his defensive system kicking in because he knew that whatever you were arguing about you must have been right.
2nd - How long have you been in this relationship and has this happened before?
Men will be very sneaky when it comes to making women want to leave them so that they dont have to be the bad guy. If it has happened before did he ever apologize or say " I didn't mean it" ? When this happens you can forgive but you must be firm in telling him how words can hurt you emotionally and continuing to let that happen will damage the trust and strength of the relationship.
3rd - What people tell him he is stupid for being with you? You must always consider the source. Is this person a good friend guy or girl? Girls are very crude when you are with someone that they want and they will continue to talk badly about you until they have convienced your partner to leave. If it was a guy then what is his reasoning for the "stupid" ? Stupid because your boyfriend doesnt go out with the guys as often or stupid because you dont get along?
Do you live with this boyfriend? Are you depending on him more than you should?
If not then I would leave him be, if the relationship is strong and means something to him he will be knocking at your door and realizing what he wants.
You always have the right to feel hurt. No one can take that away from you by belittling any event that hurt you emotionally. You have a right to your feelings and if your boyfriend isnt understanding then you should consider getting out now before it hurts you more. If he does understand then keep on truckin'. I personally never care about what others think. It makes it easier to live your own life.
Good Luck & Best Wishes. :)
2007-02-21 02:02:47 · answer #2 · answered by scottsladylumps 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would feel hurt by that, yes. Firstly, he is wodering if it's true that he's stupid for being with you is why he even brought it up. If he hadn't been, it wouldn't have stuck with him. Second, that he cares what people think of you in the first place. Third, that he said that to you... after you moved and all? I'm assuming you gave up some things to be closer to him. You need to talk about this issue and then both of you move on...
2007-02-21 01:52:26 · answer #3 · answered by fullofsugaw 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you aren't taking it wrong. if you guys were in the context of arguing and he said that.. then he obviously was pulling that statement out to make a point. i would be very hurt by this. if he had said it in different manner... like people think i'm stupid for being with you... but i don't care what tehy say. or if he was just kidding around that woul dbe okay. but you guys were arguing. i think you should talk to him.. tell him you have done a lot for him by moving to be near him (if anything, ppl should be saying your stupid for being with him.. based on his behavior). ask him how he really feels about u and really have a heart to heart talk. good luck and i hope you can resolve this!
2007-02-21 01:51:45 · answer #4 · answered by peaches87 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea, it sucks what he said but people say stupid things when they're arguing. You should talk to him about and let him know that hurt your feelings and just get over it. You probably said a few things yourself, right??
If he's a good man, don't let that break you two up. It's trivial. And screw whoever said the comment. People don't like to see other people happy sometimes.
2007-02-21 01:53:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay stop typing about these TWO crazy ladies, and get the animal to the vet NOW! From the time this person injured the dog it stopped being about you. GET THE DOG TO A VET, BECAUSE YES, IT CAN DIE, if it is still having seizures. If you do not seek medical attention, the owner, or the one who's home he is in, very well may be charged with neglect/abuse. So do it now.
2016-05-24 02:01:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
men say really stupid stuff especially when theyre mad, and someone may have said that hes stupid for being with you for a number or reasons, believe me ive been in your situation and almost ruined a realtionship with a great guy because of what other people thought, stay with him, give it time and unless he keeps bringing it up you should be ok :) oh and btw yea i would be hurt
2007-02-21 01:52:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would be hurt. But one good turn deserves another. My old man said to me "You are a worthless piece of crap!" I said "You are a worthless piece of crap for saying that to me!" He shut up! Smile.
When people say rotten things to you, fight back. I would of said to your boy friend this: Well if people think your stupid, that must be true! Especially if they are telling you. Darn, maybe I am stupid for being with you! And move back home dear!
2007-02-21 02:04:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would ask him why he cares what other people think about your relationship. It would hurt my feelings if my spouse said this to me. There are only 2 people in a relationship and each other should not care about what others think.
2007-02-21 01:52:07 · answer #9 · answered by BamaBelle810 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I certainly would feel hurt.
If his friends are telling him that he is stupid for being with you.......it is not rocket science to figure out what that means. His friends are against you, for whatever reason, and they make no secret of telling him that by being with you he is being stupid. I don't know how much clearer that can be.
Leave him be and move on with your life. The cards are definitely stacked against you here.
2007-02-21 01:52:42 · answer #10 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋