What should i do?

Question

Hello there,

I'm in a difficult situation at the moment. Im auntie is not very well and need help she is depressed and just cant seem to shift it, even though she is on meds and talking to some one. my gran and dad pass away 6 years ago and this has been very hard on her. my granddad that she looked after has now been put in a home. They live abroad so there is nothing i can do from here but just give her money and ring her every second day.
I really dont know how she can get help out there when im so far away. the other family members dont care and dont bother with her as they have their on family to worry about.
Is there any advice you can give me PLEASE
thank you for reading my question.

Thank you to everyone who answered my question, its to differecult to choose so im laving it to the board. Once again thank you

Answer 1

she needs to take a trip to the doctors for some serious counselling.

Answer 2

Family death isn't easy and by itself is extremely traumatic if you weren't already depressed.It sounds as though you are offering all the help that you can. I have suffered from depression and unless you accept it and want to change it yourself, it will never get better no matter what anybody does. That part has to be controlled by her. Alot of people are depressed and in denial about it. Admitting it is the first step. There are no quick cures, she'll need a good doctor and patience as there are so many medications out there. It actually took me over a year to get the one that made a difference, now I feel better than I have in years. She may just need to change her meds but she needs to advise her doctor of her continued depression.

Answer 3

Hi. It sounds like you are already doing as much as you can do at this point to help your aunt. Does she have any friends where she lives? Do they know how depressed she has been? If she has any close friends, you might get in touch with them and ask them to check in on her and try, if they can, to spend some extra time with her, even if its just talking a walk in the evenings or stopping by on a lunch break to see how she's doing. You might also encourage her to get involved with a group or organization where she is; if she's older, she can contact a local senior citizen's center or recreational center and see what types of social activities are available for seniors. It's alot harder to be depressed by yourself if you have people around you constantly checking in and forcing you out of your comfort zone. I'm sure that she appreciates how emotionally supportive you have been given that the rest of the family has not had the time nor the desire to help. Just to uplift her spirit every now and again too, you might send her a cheap but thoughtful card that just says you were thinking of her, or if she has email you can send her a free e-card. They have some really nice ones at hallmark.com. If she's a reader, inspirational books or some uplifting poetry might brighten her day.

Just keep doing what you're doing, and keep telling her how much you love her and how much she really is needed and appreciated. She does know that you are concerned, and I'm sure would not want you to carry the entire emotional burden of what she's going through right now. Help her in the ways that you are able and pray for her, and just ask God to look out for her in the ways that you cannot right now. Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 4

You are a very caring person, how lucky your aunt is to have a niece like you. You are doing all you can. You care so much, if you could do more you would.
You say she is talking to someone, I gather that is a professional ?, and on medication ? well there is little else you can do is there?. They do not live live near you, so all you can do is phone.
You are doing all you can, sometimes we have to accept we cannot right all the wrongs in the world, just do what we can ,where we can.
Keep in touch with her, let her know you care, listening is one of the best sources of help anyone can offer, just be there for her, she will be so glad you are.
Stop beating yourself up about this, you can only do what you are doing. In this uncaring world you are a ray of sunshine, all the best you deserve it.

Answer 5

Hi love -

It sounds like you're in a really tough situation.

Without knowing more about where your family are etc. it's hard to give really good advice - but as someone who has been through both depression and severe loneliness, I would recommend counselling as an absolute must.

I know it is hard, especially for the older generation, to contemplate going to see someone - but perhaps you could find someone in her area and book an appointment, and pay for the session over the phone? That way your aunt might not feel like it's such an upheaval to go along.

Therapy is an extraordinarily effective thing - it made me feel like I was being heard, it made me more positive, it made me more confident and eventually I not only shook off the depression, but was able to get rid of the characteristics that had made me negative in the first place.

I really really recommend it.

Answer 6

Death in a family is never easy. But realizing that it is part of life's journey may help. Everyone just passes through this life, no one's here to stay. The one's that are fortunate to cross your path, leaves gifts and lessons and we have to learn from them and when those special people are gone, we have to move on with our lives regardless.

For depression, encourage her to get out for a walk everyday.
Get her to find something that she loves to do and spend many hours doing it.
Get her to go out with her friends and have some fun.
Get her to go to the movies and laugh as often as possible.
Get her to take long refreshing baths.
Read a good book or two.
Get her to volunteer her free time to helping others less fortunate, in helping others, she will feel better about herself and life.

Answer 7

Sounds to me like you have the worlds worries on your shoulders. Your aunt has to want to get better to sweetie having been depressed my self. She needs to be aware of how low she has got and start from there. My sister's partner died last year, and she hasn't been able to pick herself up to try and restart her life. As much as i don't know how she feels it seems she doesn't want to move on. She has children and so on. Tell your aunt how worried you are about her and see if that helps her to try to help herself. She does need all the support she can get and the rest of your family may need a wake up call in order to help her too. Good luck honey, take care. xx