Is it in bad taste or am I just getting old?

Question

This weekend hubby and I went shopping and I spent most of the journey home pontificating about parental responsibility with reference to a young girl's attire (she was out with her parents) who had been walking in front of us on the way back to the car.

She couldn't have been more than 10 and had a bottom scraping mini-skirt, tights, nearly knee high, heeled(a good 2") cowboy boots, a belly showing top and a semi-fitted cropped jacket on.

I have a daughter and while it will be a few years yet it will also be a cold day in hell when she steps out the house looking like that under 18.
And even then she'll have to get past her Dad!

Barrowman- I'm under 35-how big a generation gap can there be????

nicolecarter I just can't stand idly by and read your rot! We're not talking a sexual being we're talking a LITTLE GIRL.

Silvi04, I had to run the 'Dad gauntlet', it's character building lol

AndyM-don't know(not very good at this computing lark).
funandgames55 you read my mind!

king-sigh did you actually READ her answer?? how is that an appropriate comment given the question? oh and paedophiles don't see 'little girl not sexual being' they see 'little girl,sexual being.' VERY different-and very much my point(sort of).

quite clearly i need to clarify my point here-it's not the childs fault they're dressed that way(as such) and 'john w' how it would be 'their fault' I have no idea-they're CHILDREN-THAT'S THE POINT!

summerhill, when she's 18 she'll be able to (within reason) do her own thing because she'll have had a good moral foundation to work on and yeoman15-I know, what IS that all about?

I've extended the expiration on this because I'm going to read and re-read the answers so I can pick a best answer properly.

Answer 1

It's in bad taste. it's one thing if an adult chooses to dress this way, and another if parents allow a pre-teen to dress like a call girl.

Unfortunately, TV and films have been portraying kids as mini adults for many years now, and this is the point things have corroded to. Kids want to emulate "the cool kids" they see on TV. Too many parents presently let their kids do what ever they want, rather than dealing with the child's dissent from being made to look and act appropriately.

One should allow your children to pick their own clothes, but some things need to be declined at age 10. I let my kids pick their own clothes (Un-like my mother) so they could be 'cool'. I've only had to say 'pick something more appropriate' a few times. They have grown in to fine young women and know how to look 'cool' without looking like a skank.

In short, kids need to be allowed to be kids, but parents still need to draw the line.

Cheers :-)

Answer 2

I agree children of today dress far too old for their age.
Yes dress fashionable but draw a line.
How many men have been caught with a girl they have thought to be a lot older than she actually was.
A child should be a child you are an adult for a long time and can never get those years back, enjoy being young while you can, there will be many years ahead when you do want to look young again.
The problem again i think lies with the fashion world, its so cool to wear the latest fashion,whatever it might be.
I'm 50, no not a prude,and think that there are many adults out there that should not wear the skimpy tops either,wear what you look good in, then you will feel good, not just because fashion decrees it so.
If the fashions are out there for the kids then it is down to the parents to control what they dress their kids in.

Answer 3

I have a five year old, and I am constantly complaining that stores want my little girl to look like a hooker. It's ridiculous! No ten year old should be wearing an outfit like that. I'm 29, and I would have thought the same thing. Go to the mall and see some of these outfits girls wear today. I feel like I should walk up to them, give them $10 and say thank you for the show. Plus, the sizing they do in the teen department is a joke. A size small shirt could fit my three year old perfectly. No wonder girls these days have a horrible body image. There is a difference between looking cute and looking like a whore. Unfortuately, some parents version of cute is anything but. Yeah, I can hardly wait until my girls are 15, we are going to have some serious fights about clothing, I can tell already. However, I have noticed a trend of longer tops now, especially at Old Navy. Finally, some class.

Answer 4

Any responsible parent would be worried about this question. She is still a child and as such should not be dressed as a teenager. I doubt that you will manage to keep her a little girl until she is 18. She will want to dress like the other girls of her age when she becomes a teenager. You still have a good while to think of that problem and hope that the fashions change before then. You don't say if your daughter will be going to a school which advocates uniforms, if so then that is the problem solved during the day. I solved the problem of Dad when my daughter was 14 by going out and buying fashionable clothes for her. When her Dad complained about her skirt being short (above the knees) she told him that I had bought it. It took the heat off her and when I explained to my husband that it was better for me to buy her fashionable clothes instead of her going over the top and wearing microminis he saw sense. As she grew older I bought her classic outfits, trouser suits etc that are never out of fashion for eveyday wear and the more trendy clothes for weekends and evenings. She was happy for me to continue to buy her clothes until she settled down and still goes for the classic outfits now, as well as trendier evening wear.

Answer 5

First of all, wow! 144 answers in 3 hrs! Thats gotta be some kind of record! Anyways, rest assured, you are not old, nor are you being a "prude" or a 'fuddy-duddy". Every answer to your question is basically screaming the same thing-
1) Yes its wrong!
2) We agree that slutty clothing is disgusting on anyone under age 18!
3) We as consumers are disgusted and excessively annoyed by the fact that we cannot find modest clothing for reasonable prices for our daughters to wear!

Case in point: Residing in upper NY, Christmastime is obviously cold around here. I shopped at four, yes FOUR major retailers in my area (Wal-mart, Target, JC Penney's, and Gap) looking for a nice, modest dress for my 8 yo daughter to wear in her Christmas concert. Guess what I found? Mini skirts, tank tops and see through jackets! Seriously, I looked EVERYWHERE for something decent. I ended up buying a woman's mid-length skirt and had it altered by my aunt, and I bought a nice velvet long-sleeve shirt that I had to "dress up" a little with sequins! What is wrong with this picture?!

As parents, the only thing we can do is collectively demand that retailers start changing their clothing lines. If you can only purchase "Mary-Kate and Ashley" clothing at Wal-mart, then Wal-mart should be able to say, we want decently designed clothing with young childrens needs in mind. If Wal-mart threatened to pull the line because of the revealing attire, then the designers would surely adjust to meet the criteria. But, also as parents, we need to say, enough is enough! We must let those retailers and clothing designers know that we WILL NOT purchase ANY of their clothes if even some of their designs could be considered "too adult" or down-right "slutty".

If only one or two, or 144 voices shout all this, no one will listen. But if thousands and thousands shout, we can make a difference. Just because we are parents, it doesn't mean we are "past our prime". We can improve our daughters attitudes' towards clothing and dressing approprietly not only by laying down the rules and stressing how bad the consequences can be, but also by example. How can we expect the future generation to believe they can make a difference if they have no model to follow?

I guess this subject pokes needles at me, and obviously at other good parents out there, this has got to be the longest answer I've ever written!

Answer 6

I say bad taste! I say let children be children - there's no harm in play dressing up at home, but not out and about. I know she'd probably be safe, but it's not that, it's that she is learning to use her attire / appearance in a way that is usually designed to attract - dangerous in a 10 year old!
Plus as her feet / spine are still growing heels put an unnecessary strain on her posture, which she could damage for good - no fashion trend is worth that!

Answer 7

I agree and what a great question.
I used to work in an A& E dept and used to be absolutly horrified when girls in there early teens were brought in (anything from age 12-15)having been drinking and wearing extremly scanty and provocative outfits and thongs.when dressed like this I genuinly feel not only are they at risk of sexual abuse but also hypothermia(thats not a joke they often come in very cold as alcohol lowers body temp)
I would always wait until the mum was present to change them into a hospital gown just so she could be aware of how they were dressed but most of the time the mums wern't bothered.
i think we give an extremly bad message to our young people today.
Once again good point it's obviously generated lots of interest

Answer 8

Hiya, Well i agree with you 100%, yes children can get dressed up in modern day clothes, but sorry to say some of them look like little "Lolita's". What are parents thinking of at all there are some lovely clothes in the shops and i dont mean long skirt's and high neck tops, i am talking really nice clothing. My daughter was always trendy when she was younger (she still is now) but she never had revealing clothes on. Let children be children. Being an adult comes soon enough. Yes children are pressured into things by their peers, but they are individuals and should be tought so.

Answer 9

I completely agree, when I was 7-10, I desperately wanted to wear high heels, and I wasn't even humoured with a kids pair. I was told, that they are for adults, which they are.

My sister turned 19 not so long ago, but I remember when I saw her wear a short skirt, and boots, I was horrified, she was my baby sister (she was 17 at the time)

Parents carry on about underage pregnancies, paedophilia etc, but parents who are dressing their kids like this, and lets face it, it is the parents, they buy the clothes, they see their children wearing the clothes, yet still they do nothing about it, are shortening their childhoods.

And I do agree with some of the other comments, that it is impossible to find children's clothes that are still decent for children. Why cant the fashion industry design tasteful, age appropriate clothes. Yes short skirts are OK for 10 year old, but if it is so short you can see her pants, then wear it with jeans!

And a message to all you others who do not agree with this, is I am only 22, I have respect for myself, and when I have children, I will bring them up to be the same, and not be flashing their boobs off before they even have any!

Answer 10

I wouldn't encourage it either. To some degree it is about what you see as 'standards'. A lot of people will feel that this young girl is not being given the right messages about respecting herself.

At one level you can 'only weed your own garden' so to speak.
In my view that is best done by engaging your children in a discussion about a wide range of issues and encouraging them to think about things, including questions like 'why do you want to dress like that?' if they express an interest in something a bit 'beyond their age group'.

Of course no one knows how the parents in your story really felt, they could have been horrified and are just trying to work their way through a situation with a child who has entered a rebellious stage. On the other hand they could see this as their little girl being fashionable in which case I wouldn't agree with them.
Too many predators on the block to allow them easy viewing!