Am i too sensitive,should i just laugh it off?

Question

My girlfriend has called me twice by her ex husbands name,they are currently getting divorced, the first time during making love, the second a few months later in general conversation, she said she was`nt thinking about him, it was just habit, it hurt me, should i worry or am i too sensitive? We have known each other for 2 yrs and we are madly in love with each other, we have been going out for a year.

Answer 1

"Here's your sign"

Answer 2

I don't blame you for feeling hurt after your girlfriend called you by her husband's name. But, I do feel you are being a little too sensitive. I also was going through a divorce and made the mistake twice of calling my boyfriend by my ex husband's name. It means nothing, just a habit. Could be she has the divorce on her mind and all the issues a divorce can cause. Good she apologised. Just accept her apology and ask her to please make an effort of not doing it again. I am sure she did not do this on purpose. In fact I bet she is happy to have you to lean on during this difficult time of divorce. Lighten up a little and you two should be ok over this. Best of luck to you!

Answer 3

I can see why your a little sensitive about it. My partner called by his ex wife's name once in general conversation but apologised and it hasn't happened since. His parents also call by her name sometimes which i find infuriating but he always corrects them. Calling it out whilst love making is really what concerns me and i would be devastated if it was me. You really need to sit down and chat about it, it probably is force of habit and i think it depends on how long she was with her ex too. I hope it doesn't happen again and i hope that everything works out for the two of you because you sound like you really love her, i know its been a year but its still early days believe it or not. Good luck and try not to make too much of it

Answer 4

Hey there -

I can completely understand why you're upset, but to tell you from another point of view, I have often called my boyfriends by other guys' names - it just happens to me. My ex-boyfriend used to call me his ex-girlfriend's name all the time - but my current boyfriend has never, ever done it. I think it depends on the person - some of us easily adapt to a new relationship and others of us don't switch over to the new one quite so easily! It's not a nice thing to happen, though, and I do sympathise with you.

My advice would be to let it go - in my experience, when I've made the mistake, it is a TOTAL accident, slip of the tongue, and has never, ever meant that I would rather be back with my ex. I hope you can believe that it can happen completely innocently, and mean nothing.

Good luck!

Answer 5

I think you will find she is going through some ups and downs about her divorce that she doesn't feel she can share with you. It may be that there a some memories which are nice ones and some are dreadful which is why they split. Either way, she has to let that part of her life go. It is all going on in the back of her mind. It doesn't diminish what she has with you though so I think you are going to have to be strong and help her get through it without too much sadness. Let her put that person she was with her ex into its 'grave' - let her grieve for her past and then you may find she bounces back for a great future with you.

Answer 6

I sincerely think it was a "slip of the tongue". You may in some ways, or actions, remind your girlfriend of her previous ex. The good things that is. I would be concerned if his name comes up again during sex. That would bother me and most people. You really should sit down and talk to her about it, it is always best to clear the air and not let things built up. One day, by accident, YOU may say something that could be very hurtful and your words and actions could end your relationship.Words are hard to take back. So sit down and talk to your mate, tell her how you feel, find out if she still holds some affection for her ex; if things about you, remind her of him; clear the air now to build a solid foundation, that will last a lifetime. Good Luck

Answer 7

You answered your own question. You state that your madly in love. Well, the only way you could be in love with her is if she does a bunch of other things that make you feel special. Stop focusing on her one fault and focus on the things that you are in love with. Finding someone to truly say you are in love with is not an everyday occurance so if you are in love hang on for the wild ride good and bad.

Answer 8

My girlfriend did exactly the same to me. It really upset me too. I told her the first time and some weeks later she called me it again and she could tell by the look in my face that I wasn't happy. In short I told her that if she calls me it again she can clear off and go be with him.

She got the message.

You're right to be upset but understand that they were married and have history and its hard for some of them to let go of that. Don't laugh it off, just make it clear that you are not happy and say that if she carries on doing it, you are going to have some problems between you.

Answer 9

It's habit i think. I've called people by the wrong name loads of times. If you think about it you probably have as well. Don't worry about it, why would she be getting a divorce if she still wanted her husband?

Answer 10

I wouldn't worry about it. She made an honest mistake, during sex would kinda sting though. You said it yourself, "we are madly in love" and besides that, she's divorcing him for a reason. She's probably just as upset that she accidentally called you the wrong name.

Answer 11

She might just have him on her mind because they are getting a divorce. Or she could have feelings for him still. The only way to know is to ask her, If you trust her, then don't worry about it. If she loves you, she's going to stay with you. And besides she's only human, she's bound to mess up now and then. We all do it.
Cheers!