my husband and his mother(who i love dearly)keep leaving me out on sittuations. like my husband will call his mom and ask her to get stuff for him and not even tell me what he needs. and she will ask him for money or whatever and niether of them will tell me. what do i do? do i just leave it be... or do i put my foot down? how do i do it?
2007-02-21 01:15:01 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You put your foot down. You're husband is still acting like a "mommas" boy. But, you married him. So you're stuck.
But, heres what you can do. Tell him that this is bothering you. Men are not mind readers, so he's not going to know unless you tell him. If your hsband is giving money to his mother without your knowing, then there is a serious red flag. He is not showing much respect to the bank account as you are. Other little things shoudl be let go, but this money issue needs to be addressed NOW. And you are going to have to be the one who enforces it. Tellh im that although you know he adores and loves his mother, his loyalties are with HIS family first (not his immedate family, which would be his mother) but him, you and the the kids.
By him just giving money away to his mother, or to whoever else for that matter, he is putting your family at risk. Even something as small as 5 dollars here and there will add up to being 500 dollars here and there. You're families money belongs to the family. And as nice as your husband may seem, your mother in law is controling him, and indirectly controling YOU.
So just tell him you don't like this behavior and that you want to be confronted every time money is involved. Don't nag, don't be b*tchy, don't cut off sex, but if he does it again, kindly remind him about how dissapointed you are in him and how the the rest of family is to.
good luck.
2007-02-21 01:34:30 · answer #1 · answered by Pandora 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation with my husband and mother in law, he didn't ask her to get him things but she was always calling for money. At first he would talk about it with me then after a while the request came more frequently and the mounts grew larger when I commented on it an argument would ensue and when wouldn't speak for days. Finally I decided to keep my mouth shut and wait for him to see the light. As soon as I stopped commenting on it, he realized that he was being used and stopped sending so much money. But not before he loaned her a large sum that she has yet to pay back.
2007-02-21 01:34:19 · answer #2 · answered by juicie813 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your husband should realize that you are part of his life. He shouldn't ignore his mum but should be able to separate mother and wife. help and things to do should be from you first and then from his mum. Actually his mum should remind him to ask you. Maybe because he had been alwiz asking him didnt make him realize to divert it to you. Try talking to him how you feel in a nice way. Tell him how you feel in situation you were left aside and wish to be a part of is life in good or bad. All the best.
2007-02-21 02:03:27 · answer #3 · answered by Veronica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moms/sons have a special bond. you have to tell him and her together that u wont put up with it no more you r his wife mom needs to let go (she may not have anyone Else that could be why) sons r very protective over moms so go on the air of CAUTION
2007-02-24 23:58:12 · answer #4 · answered by smokeyjo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a definate momma's boy.
Your going to have to tell him how you feel and let him know that you are half of the marriage and deserve to be included in things.
You need to nip it in the bud now or it will just get worse.
2007-02-21 02:30:54 · answer #5 · answered by Mr R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave it alone if the Mother in Law treats you well and your hubby treats you well and you are not threatened by thier relationship leave it alone. In time I am sure that you will be included!
2007-02-21 01:23:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋