i carn,t cope with life at the moment i have had enough?

Question

my grandaughter has been expelled from school i have been home for four months and i am lonely and depressed sat around the house, she wont go to any lessons at a special place and i could go to prison if she does not go to school and my grandson and son will be taken away if i do and i am angry with her for bringing all this trouble, she don,t even care about her own education she is nine

Answer 1

Hi Denny,
it seems like life is very tough at the moment and you need to get back into the driving seat here and make your Grandaughter know who the BOSS is.
It's best to begin with sitting her down and talking to her. I know that this is tough, but you HAVE to do it. If she won't listen, then OK, just take away some of her privilliges. Cut the plug off the TV and tell her it's not going back on until she listens to you.
If that doesn't work, take away something else and then something else until she does listen to you and OBEYS you.
You are the BOSS NOT her. Tell her you are angry and don't be affraid to let your wrath show. Really go for it Denny and scare the crap out of her if you must. But DO IT.
Children of this age, and they are STILL children are very rebellious, so rebel back.
This isn't just about taking things away. When she behaves better and respects you more, then begin to reward her with little treats etc. But until she does what you want you are to be hard on her.
I find it appalling that a 9 YO has been expelled from school, but getting her on the right track again IS achievable. Be strong.

Answer 2

I really feel for you, theres no such thing as giving up.. and you shouldn't we all feel like that at times and there just phases.. your life is worth more and so are you..

I used to be a terror child and in some ways proably still am.. first of all i'd try getting to the route of the problem, bullying, doesn't fot in and just because she says shes fine, be persistant, i used to truent because i felt out of place and i was and people lat me know that but i never told anyone , crying was my best and only outlet and seeking love.

When thats done and your 100% sure that its nothing to do with any of those kind of issues then sit down and talk to her and if you have to scream, i will firmly say with all the naughty thingsi used to do and the way ive turned out now a good clip round the ear never did me or the past 3 generations any harm, when she gets cheeky lat her know how angry you are, and at 9 she'll think twice about getting the strop again, and take her to school and tell the school to keep her there until you pick her up.. anhd if they dont then they cant say you didn't try.. and then when shes at school, do something for yourself, have a coffee in town, buy yourself a top, go to a different town, go out with a friend or go to a meeting club..

I hope this was oif some help and i'm talking from personal experience and experience of many families around me.

B x

Answer 3

this child needs to be heard.
what happened with the men in this story,and why are they not here.
is this something cultural?
you sound like you are struggling to cope,and that you have as many problems as your grandaughter so go and seek out help for yourself first.]
you need help,and the quicker youget it and carry on being supported the quicker you and your grandaughter will be ok.
i am not interested in your personal problems and it sounds as though you have many of them,they are your responsibility,now go along and get your self some help,amd maybe your grandaughter will not give her power away to men .

Answer 4

Denny we all get down from time to time some of the answers so far are funny and some good advice what i would say is you are having a bad day and that's about it in a few days time you will laugh about even putting this Q on the site

Answer 5

I really dont know what i can say that can help. I dont know all the circumstances but i feel that the best way to deal with this is to talk alone to your grand-daughter about what will happen if she doesn't go to school. Mention that her father etc will go to prison if she doesn't at least acknowledge that fact.
Let me know if that helps.

Answer 6

this sounds awful....and 9 is so young to be in so much trouble!!...you dont mention her mother so I would guess she isnt around. Could this be a reason for the behaviour? you need to get professional help for the both of you, and you need to do it quick before this escalates. If she is 'ruling the roost' at 9, imagine what she will be like as a teenager. Get in touch with your GP and if he is any good, he will be able to put you in touch with the professional help that you both so badly need.... best of luck x

Answer 7

U.K.
Samaritans 24 hr. Helpline. 0845 7909090.
U.K
MIND Mind Helpline 0845 766 0163 Open Monday to Friday 9.15am to 5.15pm SANE (http://www.sane.org.uk) SANELINE - 0845 767 8000 Open 1pm-11pm 365 days a year ...


These peoople are very helpful, and can point you in the direction of agencies that can help......

Good luck....

M : )

Answer 8

get the welfare in..give her 1 last chance. then put her in care..c what happens after a fortnight,,,,thats the trouble with parents today . to soft. no corporal punishment .blacks carrying guns.let them join the army.c how big they r when they r being shot at....

Answer 9

remove her from your home, She do not respect you the others nor herself!
remove her from you!
here are the steps to take in this manner


#1-Pray

#2- Put your coping gear on RIGHT AWAY FOR this is urgent
pray again .......................then
#3 Remove her right away
pray some more .............................
#4 Cry like a babe and cope begins!
May Allah bless you and your loved ones!

Answer 10

Send her to a military school. They'll straighten her out.