Suppose you were dating a woman, and when you brought up the topic of sex with her, she became extremely uncomfortable - she refuses to offer sex, because she was once raped & is afraid to involve in sex. What would you do in this situation? If you encouraged her to seek professional counseling, would it be guaranteed to work well? If it didn't work, would you wait until marriage for sex?
2007-02-20 21:11:39 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Her head is pretty messed up because of the rape. She most definitely needs professional help to make her realise that rape has nothing to do wtih sex....its all to do with control and she needs to separate the two. It is a very complex process when a woman is raped and she goes through a mass of emotional ups and downs. There are counsellors out there who are experienced in this kind of counselling. I would certainly be encouraging her to seek some sexual assault counselling. If she doesnt get some help then she will always have a problem with sex, and even if you wait until marriage, without counselling, her fears about sex are not going to disappear just because she is married. Maybe you ring up the sexual assault unit in your local area and discuss your concerns with one of the counsellors. Maybe she will be able to throw some light on how your girlfriend will be feeling which will make it a lot easier for you to understand what she is going through, and maybe armed with information you can convince your girlfriend to seek out professional help.
I wish you all the best.
2007-02-20 21:21:13 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Could be worth waiting for.
Ask yourself though, do you love her enough to be with her always and forever, even if she never wanted to have sex because of this hurt?
Usually, time & love can heal those wounds, but some people take ages to heal.
2007-02-21 05:25:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope..don't wait until after marriage, because a piece of paper won't change her heart/feelings/past rape. If you love this woman, definately consider counseling for the both of you...support her. best of luck.
2007-02-21 10:10:19 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, wait till you guys get married. if you still wants sex, then she's not the right girl for you.
2007-02-21 05:16:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you need the professional help..dud she already told you she was raped? duh? are you going to be the good guy who makes sex all good for her again? you are to take her as damaged goods and if you insist on dating her don't use the sex unless she is comfortable with it..let her come on to you. or is all you are thinking about is getting a nut?
2007-02-21 05:16:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
first make her perfectly comfortable & do hings that she likes.u must understand what her stituation is once u win her full trust its my gurentee she will offer u sex from heself .she needs nothing except space & time
2007-02-21 05:17:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
no waiting before marriage coz that will be difficult when you're already inside the marriage
2007-02-21 05:16:22 · answer #7 · answered by guRl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
----your in a very difficult situation----you;ve got to talk to her about this---she must open up to you some---she;s been through a rough time---give her time---but you have to talk about this----not the rape but about you and her-----you don;t want to get married to find out she will never injoy sex.
2007-02-21 05:30:48 · answer #8 · answered by mikeh_frog 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you like sex, this gal is not for you!
2007-02-21 05:15:19 · answer #9 · answered by hambycat 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sure
2007-02-21 06:40:53 · answer #10 · answered by LadyK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋