Ok, im 21 and was in a long relationship with my ex, and he didnt like me going on top. so i didnt. it ended, and i moved on. after spendin a year being single, and having some time out from men, i met a really nice lad. i been dating him for 2months.
its like i have some sort of mental block, which is stopping me from getting back on top. after abit of drink im fine (dutch courage).
im guessing he's probably getting fed up of me being so selfish.... its not that i dont want to, but i feel like i cant.
any one ever been like this? any tips to start to take control of my life.... i dont want to loose him, but i will if i carry on being like this.................
2007-02-20 20:58:20 · 7 answers · asked by geminially 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well,first of all i know just how you feel! but you have to remember that men are not all the same, but the only way you will get over this is by talking to him, explain why you find it hard, and that its not because you dont want too, and if he is a decent understanding guy then he will not pressure you, and in time you will gradually get your confidence back, but you will also know in the back of your mind , that he knows and he understands,and that your not thinking, that he thinks your being selfish, i promise you its the only way. ( hope this made sense )
2007-02-20 21:13:40 · answer #1 · answered by nicky2425 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im not sure if it is a mental block but I feel quite insecure about going on top sometimes as well and I have been married for 3 years. I think it is because on porn films the girl seems to be going at it but when I do it, it dont feel it is the same and worry its not good enough.
I think once you get to know your partner better you will gain more confidence and you will be fine.
Have him sit up on the settee and sit on him that way its less awkward than him lying on his back and more enjoyable lol good luck xx
2007-02-21 05:04:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
50-50. Share the time onboard. Let him start on top, then climb on and ride him hard, and just before you crumble- switch. You'll both probably climax together- but you'll need a really wide bed (on the floor is better if you have fluffy carpet), and you both need to be really flexible to make the switch quickly and uninterupted.
2007-02-21 05:03:28 · answer #3 · answered by canguroargentino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i suppose this is one of those situations it's kind of ironic that you dumped your x becasue he didn't like you being on top and now you think you might lose him because you don't want to go on top.
however you aren't being selfish i think that your x not wanting you to go on top has probably made you feel really insecure and thinbk that you were doing something wrong (subconsciously). have you ever explained this to your new man? he might understand it, however i think that you should try to overcome hi new feeling of fear by yourself as your new man obviously cares for you for who you are and not for what you do. he obviously thinks that you are beautiful and wants to see all of you when you are getting down to business.
2007-02-21 05:19:14 · answer #4 · answered by confused 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he dumps you just cos you wont go on top then he is not worth it.
Not every woman goes on top for a variety of different reasons, a lot of women don't feel confident enough etc.
Talk about things with him
2007-02-21 05:01:43 · answer #5 · answered by OriginalBubble 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ah just do it..go on top...even if you have to stop, it's okay..at least he knows you are trying...if after a few times you just don't feel right about it, tell him. If you say he's that good a guy, he'll understand and respect your decision.
2007-02-21 09:55:46 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MY gf doesn't like it either - doesn't bother me though. We all prefer different things and if he's really such a nice lad he'd understand.
2007-02-21 05:06:03 · answer #7 · answered by Andy S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋