My ex- boyfriend and i were together for 3 1/2 years. We broke up in April(of last year) and by May we started doing stuff with each other again. He has these rules like we cant do things with other people(it would be considered as cheating). Its like we are back together again. Now its Feb. and its been over 4 years that we have been doing stuff with each other. We never cheated on each other and well we were each others first. And while we weren't talking to each other during that first month of our brake up we didn't do anything with anyone else. I want a relationship, but he doesn't want to go down that road again. I just don't get it, both of us have no other interest with anyone else but each other. But I want to have a relationship with some one. What am I suppose to do?
2007-02-20 19:59:00 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Stop having sex with him and move on. it's not healthy.
2007-02-20 20:02:02 · answer #1 · answered by BunnyLove1984 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stop "doing stuff" with him until he is ready to commit to something more serious- if that is what you truly want, or ask him if you are "friends with benefits", and if that's the case do what you want to do with someone else because you're just friends anyway.
And, btw, if he has "rules" you should tell him he is not your owner and you are not a ***** (female dog), therefore he can go dictate to someone else.
And, if you both have no interest in anyone else, don't do "stuff" with others because it's cheating, and you do "stuff" together all the time- then you are in a relationship so he's not your EX-boyfriend.
Frankly I think you both need time away from each other to grow up a lot- a long time- not a month.
And find out what you think makes up a 'relationship' before asking for one. Smart young women don't want relationships- and young men just want sex. He's a lucky guy.
Good luck!
2007-02-21 04:53:49 · answer #2 · answered by canguroargentino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to drop him like the BAAAAD habit he is. He doesn't want a serious relationship, at least not with you. If he did, he would have commited. Period. It may sound cold but its true. Don't make excuses for his behavior, any of it, because that's what's kept you where you are for the past 4 years.
You need to get some serious self respect for yourself too. Stand up for yourself and show some backbone. People will treat you however you ALLOW them to treat you so cut him off. You don't even owe him an explanation. When he feels that you are really gone, he will probably come back begging for another chance. What you do then is up to you but show that you aren't afraid to be without him and you'll see you have a lot more options.
2007-02-23 22:24:39 · answer #3 · answered by thebreeze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should really think about what you want for yourself and go with that because it seems like you're being used. 4 years is a long time to be clinging onto something and having casual sex with someone w/o the relationship. Perhaps you should define to yourself what a relationship is and then talk to him about it if you can.
it really does seem like you want something more than you have at the moment and that he has the upper hand in creating these "rules" for you. I think it might be time to move on and completely break ties and find someone who fits you better.
2007-02-21 04:04:33 · answer #4 · answered by zengie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him in no uncertain terms that this is what you want. That if you can't have a relationship with him, you will find it with someone else. Follow through with it. You do not need to live like that, and you shouldn't. And when you leave him this time, leave him for good and never look back.
2007-02-21 04:06:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Completely remove him from your life. The only way that you can get new is if you make away with the old, you wouldnt wear outdated clothes so why be seen with an outdated guy who is obviously afraid of commitment? You're wasting years of your life on a man who won't change. Move on! NObody can change a man.
2007-02-21 04:03:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your relationship has become dull,try to find new ways of creating fun..like clubbing,picnickin,swimming if itdoes not work,try a psuedo-relationship with a guy he knows he will get jealous and come back for real
2007-02-21 04:11:36 · answer #7 · answered by xcapee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
drop this guy and find someone else. you're wasting your time with this one, girl. maybe all he wants from you is this "thing" you do to each other. stop fooling yourself. forget him and move on. you deserve someone better, who will love you, respect you, and show you what it is to have a relationship. move on!
2007-02-21 04:03:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him an ultimatum, tell him how you feel about him, then tell him that you want more, but can't wait for him forever and that he needs to commit to you or that you are going to move on
2007-02-21 04:04:27 · answer #9 · answered by Maymie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he don't want you but he don't want anyone else to have you either...he wants his cake and eat it too
have a goal set up and tell him you either must grow up or adios
2007-02-21 04:03:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
CONFRONT your "EX"-boyfriend. Lay it all out in the open. ASK him. If he says YES ...GOOD FOR YOU. If he says NO....time to explore new "HORIZONS" boys
2007-02-21 04:04:52 · answer #11 · answered by shaylea29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋