I have recently started dating this guy I have known for a very long time, we've never been out before and he is about 6 years older than me. We get on so well and I think he’s sweet but I just can’t seem to see him as sexually attractive. Granted I came out of an engagement in October which has kind of screwed my head up but I want to move on. And I like this new guy, he treats me very nicely and wants to take me away for the weekend but I just cant seem to relax. I just keep closing up emotionally from him, when he kisses me I’m the first to always pull away. My relationship with my ex fiancé was electric from the start but this isn’t and I’m worried that’s not a good sign. Should I carry on seeing him? Will I ever find him sexually attractive?
2007-02-20 19:43:19 · 6 answers · asked by Lar 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just to add, i lost my phone the other day and the first person i thought of was him - the fact i couldnt contact him and i didnt have his number. I'm baffled by how i feel.
2007-02-20 20:08:49 · update #1
It could just be that it's too soon from your breakup for you to feel excited about something new.
But you said that you've known him for 6 years. Have you ever found him sexually attractive? If not, then you need to figure out why. Figure out what it was about your ex that made your relationship electric, and then decide whether or not that same level of electricity can be achieved with your new man.
Often times, it is hard to feel good about a relationship when the previous relationship felt so much better in certain ways. Sometimes there is not the same level of passion, or of sexual electricity. Other times, there isn't the same level of deep emotional attraction. That doesn't necessarily mean that it's a bad thing... it just means it's different.
Give it some time, but don't rush in to a physical situation too soon or it will be awkward and bad for both you and him.
And it sounds like you may have pegged part of the problem. You say you close up emotionally when he makes physical moves. Many people, women especially, have emotions so powerful that they trump everything else. It is entirely possible that the reason you don't find him sexually attractive and can't relax around him physically is because you aren't ready for that level of a relationship emotionally.
If that's the case, then you need to keep taking it slow and ease yourself along until you can open up emotionally to him. Then they physical part may come as well. Best of luck!
2007-02-20 19:55:12 · answer #1 · answered by wa-webguy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yoe need some time to find yourself so as you can get to know the real you and what you really want from future partners. Coming out of a long term relationship isnt easy as you are so used to the other persons needs, likes and dislikes whereas now you can take a step back and think of what you like and what you want out of a future man. Get outta this relationship if you dont feel right as you really will be only letting yourself down by not getting what you really want and deserve. best wishes!
2007-02-21 03:55:58 · answer #2 · answered by Spastikus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might...Keep going for now, If you don't find him sexually atractive after a while, then I suggest talking to him about it
2007-02-21 03:47:35 · answer #3 · answered by Kayle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like to me you still have not healed you need to or you will carry these problems to this one and your not giving him a chance do think that is fair to him and he is trying hard it seems how can you make him happy and your not when you are healed things will happen
2007-02-21 03:50:11 · answer #4 · answered by Tara R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't sell you love short.
Ask your self should you be with this man if the answer is yes then be with him if it's no walk away!
2007-02-21 03:47:56 · answer #5 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU may in time. YOUR just hurt right now.
2007-02-21 03:48:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋