so my bf and i have been together for over a year and we talk on the phone for atleast a hour EVERY NIGHT! and we have been fighting lately and he said that he thinks we shouldent talk every night cause he thinks we r to attached. but he still loves me right?? can someone explain to me y he wouldent wanna talk as much???
2007-02-20 19:23:45 · 8 answers · asked by ♥ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
oh and its not cause he dosent wanna be with me, he says he loves me alot and i can tell he dose. he says he wants to see me more(we only see eachother about 1 time a week) but not talk on the phone at night as much,maybe like 4 times a week,he thinks it will help out relationship and make us stop fighting so much. do u think doin that would be better for our relationship?!
2007-02-20 20:11:10 · update #1
When the relationship starts everybody would like to spend more time talking to the other. But as the relationship mature you start to deal with the real issues. and these issues are caused by unanswered question. Suppose on the phone you ask him when are we getting married and he does not give you straight answer, those things starts to bring tension in a relationship. Sometimes you ask him when is he taking you to the movie? and the next time he will want to cut down the time spent on a phone to save money for a movie. He may not tell you the straight answer when you ask him. Other scinerio is that guys sometimes pretend on the phone and can be on the line for the hour but in reality he finished talking to you 40 minutes ago. Ladies want to hear words" I love you" and even if those words are said million times who cares? But guys are thinking of the programe on TV they are missing while talking to you but he can not tell you that "honey I am missing the programe". No wonder why it is a lady who must say goodnight because if the guy says so then he has nothing to say. The reality is that there are times when a man would like to talk for a long time but there are times when they may not want to talk but just to hear if you are safe. Ask yourself this question. Do married couples spend hours talking in bed or they just sleep? they do talk if there is something to talk about but if not they sleep. Get used to his behavour and that does not mean he does not love you anymore but he is faced with the reality than fantasy and he is trying to be real dear. What I said may not relate to your situation but hope will help somebody else if not you. take Care
2007-02-20 19:41:14 · answer #1 · answered by Dr Yahoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how much truth there is in him saying that ya'll are too attached. But I am a guy and I do know from much experience that too much phone time can be detrimental. Some people are just not phone people, like me. No matter how much I love someone, I don't like talking on the phone for hours a day because I can't do anything else while I'm talking on the phone. Whereas I can do other things while talking in person. I have had girlfriends that HELD ME PRISONER on the phone before and believe me, It led to nothing other than resentment. I grew to hate having to talk on the phone for even 15 minutes. Now it's one thing if your talking about a deep topic that you've never talked about before and it's fascinating for both people. Even I can do that for hours, but if you try to get a guy to talk about superficial, surface things for more than 10 minutes he will hate it. Like, "guess what my cat just did", or talking about your relationships with your girlfriends, or anything superficial (that requires no depth of mind FOR HIM to talk about) It's ok to talk on the phone if you would have been talking anyway, but IT"S NOT OK to talk out of some obligation or to "talk just to talk." Don't worry, he probably still loves you, but you may just be boring him and taking up his valuable time that he would rather be doing something else.
2007-02-21 03:38:33 · answer #2 · answered by mrjixer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be a number of things - he feels that spending too much time together might make you sick of each other and then he'd lose you. OR he feels smothered and needs some space - but it sounds like he cares about you enough to want to try and figure it out.
2007-02-21 03:29:05 · answer #3 · answered by gabriel_demus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absents makes the heart grow fonder as long as he does not change in action your good and may be your talking about the same thing over and over
2007-02-21 03:33:28 · answer #4 · answered by Jamerican Honey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For boys talking is a step to kissing. May be you should develop you relationship little far from talking.
2007-02-21 03:33:53 · answer #5 · answered by gsarov 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most men don't like to yak that much on the phone.
maybe it gets repeditive, you guys talk so much, and he's bored.
and remember, absense makes the heart grow fonder.
give it a rest, it will work out.
2007-02-21 03:31:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually this means he needs some independence. It depends what effect you have on him. You know him better than we. Can he be trusted by his past history? If not, then you know what it means.
BTW you can joing my page. Im not in myspace.xo
Good luck.
2007-02-21 03:30:38 · answer #7 · answered by Huguenot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cause he found someone else
2007-02-21 03:29:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋