I have heard about terrible 2's but what are they at age 3.?

Question

My three year old has too much mouth. I am constantly punishing her for her "sas-mouth".I want to play and hold and cuddle with her not fight. The way she yells and dosen't respect me or her father makes me feel like i've given birth to a 25 year old. Anyone with a similar problem, hope, or advise??? Please help!

Answer 1

You hit the nail on the head - Three is far worse than two, and I don't know a soul with experience who has ever said any different. This is the time when they learn to push their independence, and it's always when the fiesty, adamantly contrary behavior starts.

I recently came across a great book for dealing with it. It's called "Parenting the Strong-Willed Child", and includes a 5-week step by step program for getting compliance and having a good relationship at the same time. If you start now, the rest will be a breeze.

And watch out for 5 - it's a bear, too.

Answer 2

3's are Triple the Trouble! : ) At age three, they have really begun to assert their autonomy. Whereas during the twos, kids' favorite word is "mine" or "no", the threes bring whole sentences about how much they dislike your ideas! My mother tells me of a day when I was three... She was dealing with my baby brother, I apparently was giving her a hard time wanting something at the same time she was taking care of him. I said something smart, to the effect of why didn't she just return that baby to the hospital where she got him, and my mom told me to watch my mouth. With all the seriousness of a three-year-old, I told her I couldn't watch my mouth because I couldn't see it. I think that was my first spanking ever. (I don't remember being spanked much in my life- maybe 5 times ever- that just wasn't a discipline method in my house). Anyway, sassy mouths are quite typical of this age, and while the way they say something can infuriate you- know that it is actually a positive demonstration of their advancing vocabulary and cognitive thought. The more intelligent your toddler becomes, the more advanced thoughts will come out of her mouth. This is not to say that you should ignore such comments- it is completely (and necessarily) important to show her that some of her opinions do not need to be expressed and are inappropriate. My three year old has some interesting comments when she gets sassy, but I remind her that that is not the way we talk. If you keep the rules about sassy mouths consistent, she will soon get the idea that "nice talking" is what is expected of her. Continually model nice talk between you and your spouse and you and your three year old. If you expect her to speak politely, you do the same. Three year olds take lots of reminding to get it right, so expect to have to remind her quite often of how her tone affects others. In the meantime, secretly write down the sassy things she says... it will be funny to look back on years from now when she has her own three-year-old!

Answer 3

i have a 4 yr old and since he was about 2 and a half hes full of cheek and a real handful. I have for the past few weeks been doing a reward chart system with him, and you would e suprised at the difference, ok so its a form of bribery he gets his rewards at the end of the week if hes earned them but be aware they r very clever at this age and will do anything for a sticker if it means they r going to get a treat. I have a very well behaved boy now and things are so much easier. The first week you probably wont find a difference but once they realise they didnt earn anything they soon change. If this fails speak to your local health visitor they can also help and give suggestions. good luck and be strong

Answer 4

Mean what you say and say what you mean. You are the grown up in the group and if you let her know she has your number then it is all over. Always give a choice...I was taking my niece to the park one day and she unbuckled her seat belt so I pulled off on the side of the road. She asked me what I was doing and I said "No, What are you doing?" she said she couldn't see and I told her there wasn't anything to see and if there was I would tell her. Then I gave her the choices of :1) putting the seat belt back on and going home or,(2) putting the seat belt on and going to the park. She wasn't too happy with either but we did go to the park.
You have to give time outs and they now have a "time-out" bear or lamb or some animal with a timer in its belly so she will know by the buzz time-out is over.
If you are going somewhere tell her up front if she misbehaves you will bring her home and if she does do it. I have told the kids many times I would but I have never had to.
Start out as you mean to go on. You are her parent not her buddy. Be a parent.

Answer 5

it relatively is the foremost sentence: "Dad might particularly supply in than hear to the screaming." evaluate the slot gadget analogy. You and your husband are the Slot gadget. Your extremely clever son has discovered that if he pitches a in high quality condition and screams long adequate (pulls your cope with adequate cases) he will win the jackpot! (He gets to do what he needs, or stay away from doing what he did no longer choose for to do). Make sense? you will possibly desire to extinguish this habit. You and your husband definitely might desire to be on a similar web site. He needs to income that once he pulls your slot gadget handles he by no potential ever ever ever ever ever ever gets a payoff. Ever. Even one time will toughen the screaming habit. He gets no payoff for screaming in college, so he would not do it there. Dr. Phil has some relatively stable parenting and kinfolk books and that i additionally like one stated as "Parenting With Love and good judgment" via Foster Kline. it relatively is *no longer* the poor twos. no longer. it relatively is a found out habit which you have reinforced, besides the undeniable fact that it could, and could, be extinguished or you're in for a pair of nightmarish an prolonged time. Wishing you properly.

Answer 6

Trying Threes,

This is actually one of the worst times for little ones they are the most frustrated now.

Every thing is changing for them, the Pottie training thing wanting to do things for them selves, possibly not being able to communicate exactly what they want. If they have older siblings or cousins it is even worse because they want to keep up and often times can't.

There is no stopping it but you can relive some of it by making sure they can easily dress themselves, skip the buttons buy Velcro shoes, be willing to help if they want you to but be willing to watch if they don't. start getting ready early so the child doesn't feel rushed. mark shoes so they know which one goes on which foot. Be very patient !!!!

Answer 7

they say 3 = TESTING threes!! As a parent of a strong willed 3 yr old girl I know this is true & that 3 can be more difficult at times to deal with!! Talking about this with a parent of another 3 yr old prior to seeing this & she agreed that 3 was harder than 2. I also think that this is a more rewarding age too as their language skills develop and my friendship with my half demon/ half angelic daughter seems to get better with age. I think it is a difficult time but they are not "littlies" for long and we should enjoy them whilst we can & try to see the funny side!! Even harder!!

Answer 8

By age 4 things will be better, hang in there. And yes 2 is a piece of cake 3 is the nightmare. Who ever came up with terrible 2s should have been a real parent.

Answer 9

OMG, i thought we were finally clear of the 'terrible twos', and i've always heard of the 'terrific threes'-- it's a lie! my eldest son wasn't so bad, but my eldest daughter is now 3, and it seems to only be getting worse! you simply cannot turn your back for an instant w/ her! we are as strict as possible w/ the attitude and defiance, and time-outs and redirection only go so far... we even put her toys (or whatever it is that she has thrown, kicked or taken from her siblings...) in time-out... the girl just doesnt stop! we also have a 2 yr old son who is picking up the behavior, and a 1 yr old that likes to mimic as well... bribery SOMETIMES works, but it usually varies daily... she likes all things 'princess', so sometimes we use cheap crowns, necklaces, rings, etc from the dollar store as reinforcements for good behavior... best of luck, and let me know if you find a permanent "cure"

Answer 10

Child development doesn't follow a set timetable. Terrible two is a way to describe how a toddler learns to separate from and disagree with his parents...that she is a different person from you. Quite a profound discovery by a person who has been so intimately bonded to you since conception (or birth for the daddy). When kids find out they can do stuff on their own, they want to make sure it is true and they just get OFF on practicing. So you hear NO a lot, and have screaming fits.

This usually happens around two years...hence terrible twos. Your daughter seems to be either a late bloomer, or enjoying this a little more than other kids to keep it going. No biggie.

As for dealing with her, I know it can be challenging. You need to first protect her safety so if she has a tantrum, put her in a safe place where she can thrash it out without your help or intervention...she will learn that you respect the choice to have a fit but will not be a part of supporting it. This is for complete meltdowns.

As for just backtalk, you can offer correction without a lot of fanfare, which she probably loves to elicit in you. You can say that is not a nice word in this house. Please don't say it. This is your warning. Next time you backtalk I will put you in time out. Then send straight to the time out spot with NO communication until you explain what it is for and how long the time out will be. Then you deliver the time out, round up and re position them there if they move, but you don't have to say a word, wrap them up with affectionate touching...don't manhandle but don't coddle either.

I like the phrase "in this house." or "in this family" instead of saying you shouldn't...as in, those names/words etc are not allowed in this house. It implies that you aren't enforcing the rule on her because of age or anything else, and you aren't saying the choice won't be made, so it does respect her decision to do it. What this statement says is: "I don't like what you are doing because it is not the way we have decided to do things as a family. I can't stop you from yelling and cursing me, but there are consequences for being inappropriate. Make whatever choice you want, but this is what you must do to fit in with the rest of the household. If you don't do that, you will be pretty lonely." At the same time, you all are expected to follow it. Then you should be role modeling it by acting the way you want her to act "in this house". The phrase "in this house" also helps squelch any discussion about how other kids are being raised, or how things go at the ex's house, or at grandmas...this is good for later on. It kind of implies that you know you can only set the rules for what you can control, and that's fine, but this is how things are going to be "in this house." It's a big fat period to your sentence that no child can argue with.

You can expect her to respond well if you don't reward her for disrespecting you. It can seem weird but bad attn is as good as positive. So make sure that the attn you do give is heaping on praise when she is being GOOD. Kids aren't naughty all the time. And you can run absolutely as hot and cold as she does with your attention...but do it consistently. If she is being appropriate, you are having all kinds of fun together. If she acts up, you warn her. If she continues, you drop the situation like a hot rock and tell her why things changed, and how to get it back to the way it was. And when she comes around you forgive her and move on. She will learn.