since I could remember, I was always a target of my mother's anger in life.. I was always told that she wished she never had me, wished that the needle was sharper that she aborted me... and yet today, she is still in denial of her actions, when in fact I know full well that she used me for her own "want"....
I have such hate in my heart toward her, yet, my pity exceeds her been of a being...
I was always a black mark in her book according to her... always told me that I was her "curse" in life...
she tonight made me feel once again a target of her own anger in life, and yet she played it on me...
I feel sick to the pits of my stomach...
now I know why I have such anger in my heart and soul....
I feel so very utterfly useless as a human being... nothing I did was ever good enough for her, nothing, no praise, no thanks in helping her get over her divorce, no thanks in 'picking" her up when in down and in despair...
Lord... why do I bear another cross... ?
2007-02-20 16:55:24 · 11 answers · asked by Porshe B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am sorry that your mother is so resentful of you. It is not your fault. Unfortunately, life can be this hurtful, but it doesn't mean that you can't rise above it. Go for counselling. Find a way to find value in your life, even if your mother doesn't value you like she should. After all, it was your mother's own actions which led to your birth.
You will be out of your mom's sphere of influence and you can move on, or not. Do not let your mother's unhappiness weigh on you forever. God has given you the gift of life. Don't squander it!
2007-02-20 17:04:54 · answer #1 · answered by Susan M 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Cut all ties with her. She will never change, however you can change the way you deal with her. For a person to harm another's self-esteem in this way is unforgivable. For your own sanity, please just walk away. No looking back. Your friends can become the family and support system you need. You can go to counseling, but remember it will not change her and the past. I'm more for the philosophy: Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Live it to the fullest. Laugh, play, love, care about others, help others, read and travel, get an education, become who you were meant to be. I see your mother as an obstacle for you to overcome and then forget about. I guarantee that you think a lot more about her, than she ever has done about you. That is how selfish people are.
I think you have a good heart, kind people seem to get what I call, Satanist like attacks (in this case your mother)in order to bring them down so they do not full fill their destiny for GOOD deeds and thoughts. This is what I sense anyway. You are meant for something better than what you have at present. Don't get sentimental, being a mother is a lot more than just giving birth, yours has failed. Please move on.
2007-02-20 20:57:17 · answer #2 · answered by Alea S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried going to counseling to get some help for your anger? It doesn't seem like your "mother" will change...you don't mention your age if you are old enough and have the resources to have you considered living on your own? Here is a comforting poem called Footprint in the Sand...hope this helps you
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, He looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.
This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.
The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
2007-02-20 17:57:02 · answer #3 · answered by Jane_Doe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave her. She's not worth your effort and compassion. She's a sick and twisted excuse for a human being and should be left alone to roll in her own misery. Any parent who unleashes all their problems on their child and convinces themselves they their children are the reason for their failures should never have the privelage of being called a "parent"...I'm sorry to say, but that's what I really feel.
Again, I urge you to leave and forget about her. She's the useless one, not you. You still have a life to live. Don't ruin it by sticking with your horrible "mother".
2007-02-20 17:02:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Your mom already is ordinary with of hate. What might you be coaching her? Why no longer rather, set the occasion, and prepare her unconditional love? rather of hardening her heart further and yours too, perchance exhibiting her unconditional love will soften her heart. you know it is going to yours. All little ones get their hearts broken in some way. To be a very mature and chuffed grownup, we could desire to first heal the broken heart of the youngster. Your mom's new child heart has by no skill been healed. might you hate her for that? Or instruct compassion, and help her to evaluation forgiveness so her new child pay attention can heal?
2016-09-29 10:00:37 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Toxic relationships, i suggest u move out of your place and start being more self-reliant. Become your own caregiver, have your own life, job, place and stop relying on her. Once she sees that you're your own person and that she doesn't affect you anymore, she'll stop.
Realise that your mother is basically just biased and dont take it personally, learn to rely on yourself solely for approval and for survival. She's not worth your pain and anger, remember, parents are only "parents" if they play out their roles accordingly, else there's no point been in a place where there's only hatred and sorrow.
2007-02-20 17:02:23 · answer #6 · answered by astella_interrupted 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can't say that my mother was exactly the same way. Are you old enough to be out on your own? I would get away from her negativity before she leaves even more emotional scars. Time and distance may improve your relationship with her.
2007-02-20 17:03:59 · answer #7 · answered by moobiemuffin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
can i ask how old u are?
if u are above legal age get the hell out, leave her behind, i say that because i had ur mom, and i am now 30 and trying to still win her love, and i live with her, and i live for her, and she still hates me, i gave up my life for her, i am single fat and have no kids, i have a good job that i over do to over compensate for love, and i get my self into trouble at work cause of it. i am trying to move out on April1st, but it looks bleak, i will always be trapped because she will always not love me, when i was 19 my dad got sick and when i was 22 he died, before that i was on my way, i was leaving and there was no stopping me, because i hated her, and iknew it was casue she hated me for my whole life, so i stayed with her, and was there for her for my dads sake, cause i loved him, but if he had not gotten sick i would have left and gotten a life of my own, she even goes so far as to tell me not to have certain ppl for frineds, then tells me that i only have one mom and to make a choice, bla bla bla, i could go on, but u get the picture
now if i was younger, and had to do it again, i would have moved out, and let her deal with my dads sickness and death from a distance, and made a life for me, not cause i am selfish, but because of where i am today, i have guilt eating at me, i have shame, because of what i look like, i have shame cause i dont have a man, i have shame cause i dont have kids, i have shame cause i dont have, you get my point, this is not my life it is hers,
so when i say get out, i mean get out, live ur life and love her from a distance, before u become me, and are stuck out of fear and guilt and shame,
because the truth is she wont change and she will never love you the way you need and want to be loved, its not you its her,
2007-02-20 17:11:56 · answer #8 · answered by Dawn C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweeted i to came from a home like your, my mother hate me from the day i was born, i guess, she blame me, for takeing so mich of her time up, not only till the day she was ,going to die thet she starting to real talk to me,,,in the last few weeks. of her life that we came close, ,,she then ask many time for me to for give her for the thing she done to me, which, i did, i watch her cry so many time, an still ask , an no matture how many time i told her i for gave her, she could never for give her self,,, it true she made my life hell,, but honest, in a way she made me stronger more than she every know,,,honest some time, it go back to the day they was a child an how they was treared,,, but please tell you mom, you love her, no matture what she done, are said,are even how she treated you, for one day she going to pass, anyou then wish you sais the one word ,,,,love you,
2007-02-20 23:42:55 · answer #9 · answered by ghostwalker077 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
such a pity. i have a great relationship with my mother. good moms rock!
2007-02-20 16:58:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋