I have a young (20-year-old) girlfriend who, despite my repeated pleasant requests and offers of encouragement and reward, cannot seem to get herself into a regular workout program. It is not that she is overweight at all, about 5'5" and 120lbs. I am just concerned because I work in the health care industry and know that good habits start young and people tend to start to get unhealthy during their college years and never get back on track, or have to work really hard to get back into shape. I would hate for her to have to experience that. I love her very much and am definitely beginning to think long-term. I guess I also think of not exercising as a bad habit like smoking that I would have trouble accepting in a partner. For the record, I consistently compliment her appearance. Is it just that she is young and doesn't think long-term? Is there anything I can do to encourage her?
2007-02-20 16:46:53 · 8 answers · asked by Rick James 2 in Health ➔ Diet & Fitness
Hey. I think it's great that you care about your partner's health., and it sounds like she is already pretty healthy!
What you have to remember is that everybody's motivation is different. What works for you won't necessarily work for her. For example, I find that weights work is relaxing, but my partner finds it boring. You need to find a physical activity that she enjoys doing, so that staying healthy will be a hobby, not a chore. Possibilities include: bike riding, netball, ultimate frisbee, swimming, or perhaps something that you could both do together, like kayaking, tennis or indoor rock climbing.
What about latin dancing? or Capoeira? Hell, I even know a girl who goes to pole dancing classes just for a fun workout!
There are so many fun activities out there that are great for you, and more often than not, they give a much harder workout than down at the gym, but you're not even thinking about that aspect when you're doing them!
I was at my fittest back in college, not because I tried to be, just because of all the cool stuff I was doing!
Good luck, and don't push her, just be positive in your encouragement and try a few of these things out with her!
2007-02-20 17:19:20 · answer #1 · answered by Graham S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea that's a toughy. I can't think of anything you can do beyond what you're already doing without risking the relationship. Most relationships I've been in my partner wasn't really into working out much - they knew they should but it just wasn't part of their lifestyle. Some of them eventually came with me because they knew how much it meant to me.
Most people are very sensitive about their appearance so you need to be careful about that. No matter how well intentioned, sometimes no matter how it's said, certain words can hurt someone. It's the mindset of the ol', "Honey do you think I'm fat?" question, for which there is ever only one right answer.
Perhaps if you phrase it as if you'd really like to share that part of your life with her, how fun it would be to share it with you. Keep in mind that what you do for physical activity may not be so fun for her, so perhaps find something she does enjoy that you can do together, like going on brisk walks or bike rides. Anything is better than nothing. Make it not about the exercise but about sharing fun adventures together, something like that.
Good luck!
2007-02-21 01:10:40 · answer #2 · answered by resistnzisfutl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One cannot eat healthy all the time.
Eat only when hungry. No more than three meals a day unless diabetic. Eat nourishing food with plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables being part of it. Chew each morsel at least 32 times. This will activate signal to the brain as soon as u have had enough. Besides this change in eating style, take regular light exercises and brisk walks every day. U will be able to shed all extra weight gracefully and in a reasonable time span.
2007-02-21 01:07:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gosh! You sound just like my husband! You know, it's good for you to remind her that excersize is important, some people just dont remember to think about it. She probably thinks she doesn't need to, because she doesnt have a weight problem..I think you are a good influence on her, and maybe you need to be a little more blunt..like..honey, Im really starting to think long term about us..one thing that is very important to me is excersize..I want us to find an activity to do together..quality time blah blah..Take her to the gym, maybe she just doesnt feel comfortable..or just start saying, "lets go for a walk" or ask her what kind of sports she's always wanted to try..then do it. Make it fun, some of us think the word "excersize" is in the thesaurus under "torture"..Tell her the truth about how you feel, it should matter to her, and could be the motivation she needs..tell her how sexy it is to you. Good luck!
2007-02-21 02:05:15 · answer #4 · answered by Erin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is not overweight at all, and you either should love her for the person she is, or not that is up to you but you can't make someone do something that she doesn't want to do. I am 5'8 and 170 lbs and my husband loves my body, but we also work out together, he will go to the gym with me, and while he does weights I will do cardio or toning, have you tried to go with her to the gym. Rewards and bribing will not help. You say that you compliment her appearance yet you tell her she needs to work out. Maybe she doesn't want a regular work out program. She needs to do it for herself and not for you. Being that all and that thin she is not overweight at all, actually she is a little lower then normal, meaning she is at the bottom of the BMI scale. Why should she work out then?
2007-02-21 01:13:58 · answer #5 · answered by Hawaiisweetie 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you really love her, accept her for how she is. Accept her for who she is....you are putting your values onto her. You value health care and working out. Maybe she doesn't...you said she's not even overweight? It sounds like you want to perfect her (for you). If she has taken care of herself thus far by not becoming overweight, she probably knows how to eat in moderation, and she's knowledgable about the benefits of working out (because you tell her). By you 'consistently complimenting her on her appearance', she thinks you accept her for the way she is, but you are really wanting her to change. Sooner or later, she will come to resent that.
2007-02-21 00:55:38 · answer #6 · answered by Niki 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Have one of your friends mention that she's gained weight to you, while she's within hearing distance. Subtlely. When she comes crying to you later you can have some helpful suggestions. ;)
2007-02-21 00:56:32 · answer #7 · answered by Marie 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
tell her she is fat, girls hate that. It'll either get her to eat better and work out or she'll dump your ***.
2007-02-21 00:55:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋