I am a 25 Bi / F with a open life style sexualy, recently I met a guy and we became Friends w/ benefits, I found out he was married a few days ago, and this kinnda threw me for a loop, normaly I would never enter into a relationship w/ a married man so now I feel really guilty about our relationship. I plan to end the relationship however my question is should I enform his wife of his affair with me or let it go..?
2007-02-20 16:04:15 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would let it go, the problem at had will cause more drama for you if you tell his wife what he was doing and will come back to cause more problems...
2007-02-21 15:36:23 · answer #1 · answered by dheck03 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you want to involve yourself in his marital problems, then go tell his wife. If you want to stay out of it, just break it off with him. He's going to cheat on his wife again (you're nothing special to him, by the way) so it'll come up eventually.
You don't have a "relationship" with this guy. Basically you two are f*ck buddies. "Friends with benefits" is nothing more than that. Don't call it a "relationship", that is degrading to real romantic relationships.
I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with having a f*ck buddy (I've had them) but recognize them for what they really are. There's no real emotional commitment or connection there. It's "I'm hot for you and I can tolerate spending a few hours with your before or after sex but no more than that."
I totally respect your sexually open lifestyle but you must have realized that some people who know this about you just see you as a source of free, no-strings sex and nothing more. That might be what you like and that's OK but as you get older you're going to encounter more married men and women (who will somehow forget to tell you that they're married) and this will happen again.
Again, I'm not judging you but these are some of the realities of an open sexual lifestyle.
2007-02-20 16:27:56 · answer #2 · answered by lupin_1375 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eww...yes definitely break it off and definitely tell his wife. YOU being in a relationship wasnt wrong because you didnt know he was married. HIM being in a relationship with you, well that's a different story because he DID know that he was married. His wife deserves to know that her husband was unfaithful. Then SHE can make the decision about their relationship. As for you, i would just break it off, tell her, then get out of it. That's not a place you want to be when it blows up.
2007-02-20 16:12:01 · answer #3 · answered by 17*mezzo*17 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have as you said, just found out and plan to end the relationship, I would reccommend you talk to him, urge him to tell his own wife, and perhaps stay out of it.
I know some people may find this the easy way out, but you are just as much an innocent party as her, and may find that the wife will take her anger out on you regardless.
2007-02-20 16:07:19 · answer #4 · answered by kimison_au 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Break it off with him knowing he is a scumbag. Why be the one to destroy this womens life. You have nothing against her... let it be. She'll find out at some point what an ****** this guy is but you don't need to be the one to involve yourself with that. Besides, if you tell her who knows what this guy will do. Just get out clean and move on...
2007-02-20 16:08:52 · answer #5 · answered by Champ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really tough to say. She deserves to know, but it's best not to get yourself caught up in the crossfire between the two by being the messenger (and cause, albeit innocently) of the bad news.
I'd say try to persuade him to tell his wife and work things out so that it doesn't happen again, and whatever's deficit in their relationship get fixed.
2007-02-20 16:09:44 · answer #6 · answered by JDB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you just want to move on, don't feel obligated. You did not knowingly enter this to break what she has - he did. Eventually it will bite him in the ***, and there is no rule that says you have to be the one to make it happen. If he resists you breaking it off - then you may want to make his life a living hell, hold it over his head.
2007-02-20 16:09:15 · answer #7 · answered by T D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not know the wife or feel like you should, you might consider just letting it go...but go you must. He's the one with the problem...although I sort of feel like friends with benefits both have their own problems - so why point the finger at others? (Not judging you, just answering the question as honestly as I can)
2007-02-20 16:08:32 · answer #8 · answered by Randy W 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, good question. I would say that if you want to tell his wife out of revenge that wouldn't be the way to go. He may be a creep, but his wife doesn't have to pay for it. She's already paying enough.
But if you think he's a player and that you want her to know b/c she is paying for it, then I would tell her.
2007-02-20 16:10:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell the wife. It isn't your place to tell her. Do you really want to be the one she screams and rages at? She will. I did. I know a lot of people will say 'he's a dog, tell the wife," but trust me you do not want to put yourself in that position.
2007-02-20 16:09:10 · answer #10 · answered by kiera70 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋