If a girl's in the friend-zone, is there any hope of her ever getting out?

Question

A and I have known each other since elementary school, but it wasn't until senior year of high school that we become good friends.

Unexpectedly, he and I wound up at the same out of state university and have had a couple of classes together. Although I've always suspected we'd had chemistry, it wasn't until now that he's made obvious attempts at flirting by going out of his way to tease me or make me laugh.

Despite the fact that we always sit together in class and have gone out to dinner one on one several times, we've continued to remain friends. If it weren't for the fact that A calls me for dumb reasons, can't stop smiling around me, and holds my eye contact confidently, I'd swear he didn't see me as more.

My friends tell me it's because I'm sending mixed signals, but I honestly don't think I could be anymore obvious without hitting him over the head.

Any creative suggestions for helping him out without being the pursuer? Or am I in the friend-zone for good?

I appreciate all of your suggestions, but even though in theory "sitting him down" should work, whenever I'm actually with him I can't get past the fear and actually do it.

Instead, during one of our battles of wit today, the perfect opportunity came up for me to say, "Well, A, you know what they say when words become superfluous." I then preceded to blush furiously, my heart racing a mile a minute, but I didn't take my eyes away for a second. I will be eternally grateful that he had the courage to kiss me then; otherwise, I would have taken that as a clear indication that he didn't see me that way.

Now, it's easy to talk with him, and we've both realized the feelings have been mutual ever since high school. In fact, he suspected I liked him too, since I was the only who laughed at his dumb jokes with sincerity.

Apparently what I'd said was obvious enough for him, but would you guys have picked up on that remark too, or would it still be generally too subtle?

Answer 1

you got yourself into this one

Answer 2

Well, something to learn about us guys, our friend zone is a lot narrower, but depending on his personality, it's possible. The fact that you've done one-on-one dinner, etc, would suggest otherwise, though.

It sounds to me like he doesn't know you're interested because he's distracted, has an eye on someone else, isn't sure how to move beyond a friendship, etc. It's hard sometimes. Guys can be just as much a pain about these things as you girls can, you'll have to learn. But, if you are good friends with him, sit him down and talk to him about it. I normally say that guys should be the initiators in all of those solid, concrete moves forward, but in a situation where you're childhood friends, etc, you shouldn't have to worry about those roles. Let him know how you feel, and ask him how he feels. This does not make you the pursuer; it just shows that you are a really, really good friend. Simple as that. (ie, yes, bash him over the head)

And, barring that, well, it's up to him whether you're in the friend zone for good or not -- but i wouldn't hold my breathe for things to change in your situation.

Answer 3

greetings....huh..ok...well let's see...what does your heart tell you? sometimes a childhood friend is nothing more than just that. pursuing a romantic interest with someone you've been friends with can be difficult and risky. it's possible that your signals have fallen on deaf ears. or by chance, he too feels the same for you, but is having trouble expressing himself. fearing the same as you, of finding out that the feelings are one sided. it is time for someone to make the first move. a real move. tell him how you feel. or maybe kick it around with him about how he may feel about you, other than being just friends. also something to consider, if you haven't already.. there's no "roll in the hay", worth the cost of a good friend. good luck

Answer 4

relies upon. You 2 already dated and that's while she desperate you will make a extra ideal pal, so some thing approximately your character grew to become her off. maybe after a while and in case you replace a approach or the different, she might replace her opinion even nonetheless that is unclear.

Answer 5

For guys, there is almost no such thing as a perma friend zone. Guys don't get hints at all, you do have to basically hit us over the head with it.... be as obvious as possible... give him a kiss on the cheek, anything short of that won't work very well

Answer 6

the way i think is best is just express your self, firt let him know that he really means something to you (like during a somewhat-serious conversation, eye to eye) the he'll get to thinking on his own time that maybe he should pursue something, maybe. then more and more show how much u care, by then you guy we'll even get more close as frineds and eventually end up together. because im going through the same situation excet reversed, im the male friend

Answer 7

Sometimes you have to hit them over the head. You have been friends long enough that he doesn't want to rock the boat if he doesn't know you feel the same. Tell him you wish you could find a guy like him because... tell him all the reasons you'd like to be with someone like him. If that doesn't work, flat out tell him you'd like to date him on a serious basis.

Answer 8

There is no "friend zone" for a girl to be in. We don't work the way you do.

Every guy "friend" you have ever known has wanted at one time or another to get into your pants.

Just be honest with him (I will never understand why this just doesn't occur to women).

Answer 9

sometimes being friends is good for a later relationship cause you know each other really well. If he likes you and you like him. It would be good to be patient with him. Flirt back if you like him and see what he does. Friendzone sometimes isn't for good sometimes it could turn into something more.

Answer 10

Well it sounds like you need to just explain to him how you feel. Beating around the bush don't solve anything as I myself have found out many times...

Answer 11

just tell him!! if you're a little reserved or nervous, put it down on paper and give it to him.