How does 'holding a child back' in school work?

Question

My 5-year-old is supposed to start kindergarten this year, but because of some developmental / social delays, my husband and I are not sure he'll actually be ready for public school by August. Some people have suggested we 'hold him back a year.'
Does that usually mean a child starts kindergarten and repeats it, or would he do another year of daycare / preschool and start kindergarten when he's six instead of five?

Answer 1

There are a lot of people waiting to send their children to Kindergarten until the next year. If he will be one of the youngest in the class, I would recommend waiting. In some cases, you can't send the child to preschool again (happened to my friend), so they should go to kindergarten, because staying at home or going to daycare would be worse than sending him there.

You can send him to kindergarten this year and wait to see what happens. If you are paying for daycare, send him to school (if he might be ready and you are just not sure.)

Kindergarten is not just about socializing anymore. They have structured learning time and some children just aren't ready, and that is okay.

It is all up to you. Trust me the teachers have seen a lot of this and they will know if he is ready this year or if after a year he needs to repeat. Call the school and set up a meeting with the K teacher to see what he/she thinks.

Answer 2

Hi Mandy.....

I hope I can make sense...I am just really tired tonight.....but when I saw your question I just had to give my opinion..and it is just an opinion.....

I am a mother ....and on the advice of a teacher held my child back...he didn't fail...but I failed him..this is how I view my decision now...this extra year did nothing...except cause him to be a year behind his peers....sometimes it isn't "time" that is needed...but a different approach to issues..repetition of the same will not do any thing toward further development...I heard the "time" and "boy" mumbo jumbo.....and that is what it is..nothing.....

If your child is doing pretty much what the others are doing..and even if he isn't....once he is put into the school system they will be able to determine what he needs and supply these needs to him....don't hold him back at this point...even in kindergarten is not the time to hold one back...(by law ,they can't without parent consent..at least in my state..)...these early years are not the time for this kind of decision..even if someone tells you it is best to do it now than later.....later ...it may not be necessary....

Please ..you and your husband take your time ..and think really long and hard about this before making a decision....

here is a scenario you might want to consider...if you hold him back now..and later down the road he happens to get lazy and fails a grade..-even the brightest has their moments-.....this would put him two years behind his peers....right now this might mean nothing..but it will later on...first, when he becomes the age to date..all the girls his age will be a head of him in school and there is a chance he will not know any of them....and the girls he does know might be considered to young to date....if your child decides he would like to participate in sports...he would be ineligible because of his age........these issues seem trivial I know, but to a child its not..and to a teen child it can be devistating.........

you still have a good bit of time to before school starts..why don't you and your husband start working extra with him now...and address the issues you are worried about...you might be surprised how much you can accomplish in a few months.....

now, here is the truth..out of everything I have done in my life that hasn't been great...holding my child back..is at the top of the list...and it is one of the things that I have regretted..and will probably regret all my life.........I lost him a year..that I cannot give back.....that is how I feel about it.........

leftfield360

Answer 3

In that case, you would decide to have him attend his preschool again and he would start kindergarten at 6. Why do you think he has developmental and social delays that are severe enough to do so? Does he have a developmental therapist? Maybe he could work with the therapist and attend kindergarten at the same time.

Answer 4

I would have him evaluated to make sure he is not ready. If you keep him in preschool an extra year then he will always be the oldest child in class. My son had to do a year of predevelopmental preschool before kindergarten but because of his birthday he is the age of his classmates. Good luck.

Answer 5

Putting your son into the public system is going to be a challenge for all the kids, parents to differing degrees. Age appropriate social settings are the key goals here, social interactions are the primary set of lessons his group will experiment with, actual formal learning will take a 2ND priority or less. 'Holding back' is an old term that means failing a grade for academic reasons, with established research educators would rather keep the flow and introduce IEP's to assist a youths learning problems during the years of in-school education. Odds are he will do as well as the others around him, for extra support its best coming from family and friends.

Answer 6

You should probably send him to school on schedule and let the professionals decide whether or not he needs to repeat Kindergarten. The other option is to keep him home and let him start Kindergarten when he is 6. This is probably not the best choice.

Answer 7

Maybe you should talk to the Kindergarten teacher... she has probably dealt with children like yours, and would be able to offer advise based on personal/professional experience.