im not questioning about being with him or not, i love him death and that isn't a problem. i respect his decision. it just hit me today that he was really going to be gone for about 5 months..i dont want him to worry about me. should i go to see him off? we've talked about but i just cant make a decision. i know that if i went, i would cry hystarically (who wouldnt) and that would make him not able to leave. what should i do?
2007-02-20 15:24:52 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Military
When I left for BCT and AIT, I wasn't engaged in a romantic relationhsip, so I can't quiet say how that would of been. What I do know, is that my friends who came down with me to the front of our high-rise, and said good bye to me when my recruiter picked me up was the most memorable picture I took away with me during training. For some reason, the faces of those I saw for the last time before all went to hell, were stuck in my head with all the positive feelings towards them. And although neither of them were crying, in their eye I saw their support and unconditional love. I'm not sure how I could of make it through, if those, most important in my life wouldn't be there to show their support and hope.
Don't worry about crying, if he's a bit of a romantic/sensible guy, he will cry with you. When he signed the contract and took the oath, he most likely understood (or at least felt) the importance and weight of what he's done. If he would turn back and refuse to leave because he saw you cry, he didn't think this through. You can cry as long as you want, but don't ever tell him not to go! Tell him that you'll miss him, as I'm sure he'll miss you too. Comfort him as much as you can, but don't ask him not to go through with this. I'd recomment that you write to him every single day. And I don't mean write a bit today and in the next few days and then send them out all at once to save postage. Send a letter to him every single day. Getting letters and packages are the only things you have in a day that you know is going to be good. Don't worry if he doesn't write back all that often. I barely had enough time to shower properly and get to bed, just so I can wake up a few hours later to guard the empty hallway. In the first few days he'll be at a reception battallion, letters sometimes go missing in the transition after he'll be sent out to his actual training unit.
Support him as much as you can, don't make him want to go home early. Tell him exactly what's going on, but if there's something bad happens, it's sort of OK not to let him go. He'll have enough trouble there regardless how good of a guy he is. Stay upbeat and positive, tell him your feelings as they are, be as honest as you can possibly be with him.
He will be counting the meals, not the days; the weeks, not the months. Send him letters as often as possible, and do not encourage him to come home, regardless how much better that would make you feel. Sometimes outprocessing takes longer time than the actual training. Go, cry on his shoulder and let him know you'll be there for him once he'll be done, and all throughout via mails.
2007-02-20 15:55:09 · answer #1 · answered by attila_ujvari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband just graduated Basic and is now in AIT. trust me, it is very hard the first couple of weeks. Just make sure you guys write every day to each other. it really helps. He will be able to call you every Sunday. He is not aloud to have his cell phone or any tobacco products. If he gets caught with them, he may not be able to graduate. It is going to be harder on him and he will feel like he is going crazy, but he can do it with your help. Try to keep a positive attitude with him and keep telling him he can do it and that you are waiting. Try not to cry or give any negative comments. Try not to worry him with money or family problems. Now when he gets to AIT, he may get to have his phone. they let my husband have his phone and he calls all the time. They let him out on the weekends and i go pick him up. i am staying in a hotel right now just so i can feel close to him and be able to see him on the weekends. I cant guarantee you that his AIT will be the same, but just pray that it is. I will just say that you need to see him off because if not you will regret it and he needs that positive reinforcement that you are willing to go anywhere for him. Don't worry, everything will work out. If you need anymore advice, i am on myspace.com. Just go to search on that website and put in "lonely army wife" And just make sure you do it under display name. Good luck to you both.
2007-02-20 17:53:53 · answer #2 · answered by Baby boy due March 16th 2010 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The same thing happened to me a few years ago, and I would highly suggest going to see him off. It will be hard beyond words, and you will cry, but I think you'll regret it if you don't. The day my boyfriend left was extremely difficult, not only because he left, but also because another one of my good friends was leaving too, but I knew that I wanted to spend that time with them.
2007-02-20 15:36:00 · answer #3 · answered by Kristi B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in your shoes recently, Either way it's VERy hard, My son just left to go overseas, it was the most difficult time we both experienced, for him because I was a wreck (sobbing) . He said it made it very hard for him to see me that way, I was torn by the good-bye, but for me i had to do it !!!! My son did tell his friend that he doesn't call as often as some b-cause he knows I will cry .FYI.... Basic training is VERY difficult on them due to the changes from civilian life to Military lifestyle... lots of chnges in such a little time.. I wish you well, and I will keep you in prayer as he goes to serve. If u have any questions ,feel free to e-mail me. Good Luck!!!! let your heart lead you-
2007-02-20 15:41:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go. Remind him you love him and that you'll be there. Seeing my husband off was one of the hardest things I've done but I am glad I did. Its ok if you cry. It shows just how important he is. Makes sure he knows that you are not crying for him to stay.
2007-02-20 15:41:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, if you don't think you can hold it together while seeing him off, then I would say don't go. He really needs to concentrate on his training, not be preoccupied with how bad you feel about him leaving for basic and AIT.
Tell him you can't make it because of a prior commitment, but make sure he knows he can call you whenever he gets a chance. When my friend went through basic and AIT he called me a couple of times - on the way there from the airport, and a couple of times from training when they had phone time. Keep it upbeat and be supportive.
2007-02-20 15:33:25 · answer #6 · answered by Abby K9 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
It's not like there is no communication available. Basic will be a little scarce because he will be busy, but with cell phones and computers you can talk daily. I would say goodbye at home and let him go off without a scene.
2007-02-20 15:36:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it would mean a lot to him if you go, whether you cry or not. I think if he see's you crying, sure it will break his heart, but he'll know how much you love and care about him. That would just give him something to look forward to. I mean, imagine if you weren't there to see him off. What would be going through his mind? "She doesn't love me?"
2007-02-20 15:32:44 · answer #8 · answered by The12thMan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you dont go he will think you dont love him.
Go. Cry if you must. Think about him, not you. He is probably scared out of his wits right now, he needs you there for him. It might hurt you and make you cry to see him go, but do it for him.
2007-02-20 15:28:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go see him off. 22 years ago my girl freind saw me off to Marine Corps recruit training. Crying or not, he will want to see you. (Still try and keep the crying to a minimum)
2007-02-20 15:38:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋