He's been in recovery 4 years and has never lapsed. I'm glad he trusts me enough to tell me about his past. I don't have enough of a background to understand if going to a meeting is a good thing, or a bad thing, and when we talk later I will ask him, but i was wondering if anyone can fill me in on why, or when, a recovering alcoholic would choose to go to a meeting. I want to be compassionate with his situation and need to understand more.
2007-02-20 14:34:40 · 17 answers · asked by Rose of the Valley 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it is a good thing. sometimes you go to help others, sometimes you go because you need the help. either way he is not drinking. i go sometimes just be with people who understand me and have been through the same thing i have. i like it because you never feel judged for anything, it is rare to go to a place like that and there be people there.
they have open meetings where you do not have to be an alcoholic to go. you can go with him if he is comfortable, and you are as well just to see what it is all about.
2007-02-20 14:41:14 · answer #1 · answered by glass. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a very close friend who is a recovering alcoholic. He has been sober for 15 years, and he goes to meetings probably around five times a week. For him a part of it is to maintain his sobriety, but it is also about the support he provides to other people like him. He told me that he will never stop going to meetings altogether, and considering the path his life was on when he was an alcoholic, I think it is a good thing.
2007-02-20 14:39:33 · answer #2 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It actually depends some people who go to AA go on a regular basis and that is how you should work the program. If he is in AA you should deff support that! AA is like a support group that helps him stay on track it is kind of like a family to him a place he can go and be himself or share about daily life. He may be some ones sponsor so he could be going to the meetings to help others who need support. I think it is a great thing and something you should feel good about him doing. Defiantly bring it up to him i am sure he would love to talk to you about AA or even bring you with him to a meeting to meet his friends! If you love him you will have to accept him and his AA family !
2007-02-20 14:44:09 · answer #3 · answered by ninalatti 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a day to day struggle and he needs the support. he is a strong person to quit and a strong person to go to the meetings. alcoholism is a disease and it can be genetic. its not something that people choose to be. if you see a future with him, you may look into al-anon. its for family members of alcoholics. there are some books out there that are really uplifting and will help you to support him. you dont have to go to meetings. good luck. its not a bad thing. there could be a lot worse things. i would do a little research in the al-anon before you say anything to him.
2007-02-20 14:40:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grew up in a home of alcoholics, it is a nasty thing, I myself have chosen not to be like that, I don't think I could be with a recovering alcoholic because I know what it's like to live with them when they relapse, your guy seems like he's been doing good but it's risk that you have to decide if you want to take!
But it is great that he goes to AA on a regular basis,it shows that he has a strong will to beat it.
2007-02-20 14:37:32 · answer #5 · answered by LuvnLife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just feels like he needs support the group helps him to see others going through what he's going through. It gives him hope that yes it can be done he can quit. you should try going to a meeting with him to see how it helps him and support him along his way i think he will see you going as a strengthening point.Also if he feels the need to take a drink you can be there to remind him he doesn't need it. It's not going to be easy but if your serious about this relationship ride out the storm and hold on to your man good one are hard to find.
2007-02-20 14:43:20 · answer #6 · answered by Amerit A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Based on a friends experience with AA, I somewhat question the organization. Particularly if you were in a relationship when he started going. One thing they pounded into my friend was that he would hit bottom and then turn his life around. Of course bottom meant he had to break up with his wife and fight for visitation rights with his son. This after she tried to make it work for 2 years. After that they then seemed to help him and he is now happily married to another woman and still on the program. So the outcome is good except that I kind of think they created a lot of pressure on him to break up. "It's part of the classic recovery". The good news is that you seem to be entering his life after he bottomed, and can now be part of the building. I think they are very good in this context.
Good Luck!
2007-02-20 14:41:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think that it's great that he keeps on going to the meetings. Not only bc it means that he really wants to recover, but bc he's showing courage in accepting his problem. I think that you should go to one of the AA meeting with him, just so he knows that he has the support of his fellow AA friends, but also he has your support, which means a lot bc you are showing you care for him.
2007-02-20 14:41:03 · answer #8 · answered by rosalinda r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like he's being responsible and admitting he has a problem to you. Alcoholism may be something he'll be dealing with for the rest of his life. What's he like as a person?
2007-02-20 14:40:12 · answer #9 · answered by m k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider yourself in Vegas. You are gambling on him. If he really has been dry for four years than that is pretty good.
HOWEVER, YOU MUST DOUBLE DOG PROMISE HIM AND YOURSELF THAT YOU WILL IMMEDIATELY DROP HIM FOREVER FROM YOUR LIFE IF HE SO MUCH AS SNIFFS A DRINK!
Sorry, about the shouting, but have I made myself clear? A woman with a drunk for a husband is being cheated on. He will always put his drink above her and his kids any day of the week. Think about it.
.
2007-02-20 14:41:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋