How many have spent more time worrying over the wedding ceremony?

Question

than the actual marriage itself and getting prepared ?
I can't for the life of me figure out why people are going into all this debt or their parents are for a ceremony that last 10 t 15 minutes than have a big party afterwards when most of these marriages that had 20k weddings will end in divorce since the divorce rate is over 50 percent.

I know everyone wants a fairytale wedding, the wedding doesnt matter if the marriage isn't prepared or strong.

I got married on the beach, 40.00 wedding dress( still elegant and beautiful), 5.00 shoes from kmart, hubbys suit 80.00, flip flops 2.00 from kmart. Buffett at local restuarant 3.50 per person.

been married going on 15 yrs.

Dont say ugly hateful things, im just curious how much time have these brides to be or grooms to be have spent on getting ready for the actual marriage, cause living together is just playing house, once you are married cosmic forces changes things,lol

your views ?

Answer 1

I totally agree with you. The one piece of advice that I consistently hear is to really take in and enjoy the ceremony. Everything else is just details.....

Answer 2

Just because you get married inexpensively, doesn't mean the marriage will last any longer than an expensively done one, and conversely, a mammoth wedding doesn't ensure longevity either.Personally, have no worries about my relationship with my fiance (have been together almost 8 years), therefore we are having a lot of fun planning a big wedding. I've read no statistics which say the more expensive the wedding, the higher the divorce rate. Cheap weddings get divorced just as often as elaborate ones. Although I will agree with the fact that people tend to focus on the most inane details about a wedding, when they should be focusing on the marriage.

Answer 3

If people can afford it then why not? Some fathers put money away for this for years, so if that is their choice then who are you to judge? No one goes into marriage with a view to getting divorced a few years down the line, as far as they are concerned it is supposed to be a lasting union. It is sad that a lot of marriages break down, but that is just life I guess.

Just because someone spends a lot on their wedding, and others spend a little there is no guarantee that either marriage will last, it is just down to each individual couple and how much effort they put in.

I don't think anyone has the right to say what is "right" and what is "wrong". People do want to make it a beautiful and memorable day, and if they choose to spend a lot on it then that's up to them, it's not your debt!!

Answer 4

I've been living with my fiance for a few years now. We are planning a wedding for 2008. I see your point with so many people going into debt, and I feel there should be a happy medium to it all. We've been saving for our first house (we currently rent) and we're not worried about what's ahead in the marriage because we've been together over 6 yesrs and we feel like we're already married :). We're more concerned about being able to do everything we've been working towards. They way we see it, a home of our own is more important than a huge wedding that will set us back. On the other hand, we still would like to have a celebration to remember to both celebrate our marriage and also make it a nice experience to have our families all together (rare occasion). It's a shame that anything out there that says wedding is automatically expensive. We're working on doing everything as cheap as possible to make it as nice as possible without setting us back or preventing us from buying a house.

Answer 5

I agree totally with you, everyone mainly works on the wedding ceremony.I spent the same amount of time on both, considering both my husband's family and mine was a HUGE number.We had our family do the ceremony and reception and his work on the church and clothing.I had lived with my husband 2 years before the marriage, i had dated him since 8th grade.I also agree that marriage is playing house with a bunch of dolls(exept for these "dolls" have feelings and dont need hands to control them.I also got married on the beach.I think that a nice simple wedding is better then a really big wedding with a divorce after it.I married 'cause i loved my boyfriend and he loved me too.I think a strong, trustworthy relationship is better then anything else in a wedding.We had a pretty big wedding with over 200 attending.A lot of kids attended.About 500 was spent on making sure everyone was fed,300 for the actual wedding,500 on all the costumes and flowers, and we had a nearby park reception for free because my sister ran the place.I thought the best part was to know that i would now have a husband, someone i can rely on 24/7, someone i can love, and someone i can trust...

Answer 6

I bought my wedding dress about 2 months after meeting my partner. I had always known what I wanted for a dress, and I was looking on ebay and found it for 45.00 including postage. Brand new, ex display. It needs a dry clean and I wouldn't mind having the shoulder straps taken off by a seamstress, but that shouldn't cost much.

My aim is to make the wedding cost as little as possible! That way the ceremony itself means more. I intend to spend no more than 3,000.00 on the whole thing, honeymoon included. Less if possible.

My partner is a Catholic. I am being brought in to the faith, hopefully accepted this Easter and baptised next Easter. I have been married before (when I was 19) and am in the process of having this annulled, for various reasons this is a relatively straightforward process for me.

To me, having my previous marriage annulled, and being baptised and being able to take communion on my wedding day, as well as marrying the man I love in the church I love is way more important than how much I can spend!

We don't have much, but what we do have I would rather be spent on building a life together and ensuring that life doesn't end up following separate paths.

I know one couple that spent about 5,000.00 on the rings alone, and they had the cheek to get married in church, when they never attend and don't believe in anything. That is where it becomes more about being a society event rather than a celebration of the institute of marriage.

My partner is a wedding photographer, and I am slowly learning that to most people it is more about the party they can throw and the pictures of it they can show people later, than the ceremony itself.

It's very sad :(

We will have my cheap dress (I know a seamstress), high street store bridesmaids dresses, hired suits, home made bouquets, a cake baked by my aunt (she doesn't know this yet lol!) a honeymoon in this country (maybe a weekend in France or Spain with the kids, we each have one), our church, a local hotel (or maybe the church's parochial centre) for the reception with cheap meals.

If there is anything I particularly want (car, shoes, whatever) I will ask people to contribute a little before the wedding rather than buy a present. We have all we need, we don't need presents, we need friends and family to turn up, watch the ceremony and properly celebrate us as man and wife and family.

The only thing we are arguing on is the photographer, my partner thinks he can do it all himself and nobody else is good enough (I agree with the last bit), I think somebody needs to be employed for the pre wedding shots. He won't pay anyone but he won't let a friend do it cos he doesn't want them to see me before him, lol!

I'm not even fussed about owning our own home, we have a (very nice) roof over our head with a garden in a nice area, food in our bellies, tv's, computer and internet, mobiles and landline, dvd players, games consoles, sofas etc, and that is more than probably 90% of the worlds population have. We might be skint but we have each other and we enjoy life, that's what's important :)

Spending less does not mean my marriage is more likely to last, and if we had the money I would probably spend a little more, what it does mean is that I don't particularly care about the trappings, it's saying "I do" in a church that is important to me.

Well done on the impending anniversary!

ps, I think you have asked a valid question and don't see that you are saying nobody should spend the money. You are simply asking what people think about those to whom the day and the trimmings are more important than the marriage ceremony and the married life afterwards!

Answer 7

i agree, no reason to go into debt over a wedding. however, if the money is there, and its your heart's desire to spend 20k, the by all means more power to you! my own wedding is 5k for everything, and i'm sure it will be beautiful! we didn't go into any debt either, this was money that was given to us just for this. no one had to go into debt.

i would like to say though, that you're actually wrong about the divorce rate. it was over 50% in the 80's and 90's, now its on the decline. i believe its somewhere in the low 40% range, but i'm not positive. i do know that over the age of 25 it goes down. if one person is over that age and the other not, it still goes down, but not as much. anyway, just my thoughts on that.

Answer 8

We had a lovely, traditional wedding with 200 guests. Married happily over 17 years. Don't generalize. Some of us prepared for the marriage and prepared a wonderful wedding day, too, for our family and friends to celebrate with us.

Answer 9

You are 1000% right. I agree with you. Congratulations for your 15th year of marriage.

The essence of marriage is the most important than the ceremony. Love is the foundation why people are getting married, but faith is the machine to run the marriage.

I am married for more than a year (still considered newly wed?), but we went through a lot of preparation before we got married, dating for 2 years, pre-marriage counseling. We talked about everything about finance, in-laws, God and ministry, children, communication, etc.

We had a simple wedding ceremony and celebration.

I think a lot of people these days are rarely to think through and prepare for their marriage.

Answer 10

most people are only thinking about the party the clothes, the food, band...etc
instead of focusing on the relationship/marriage