Things have been really stressful in the past 3 weeks with the planning of the wedding. We got a final bill today for our reception site, with all the food, alcohol, etc, and it's massive. We're paying for it ourselves as well. I got the fax at work this afternoon, and I got a headache right away, and I'm sick too. So I wasn't in a good mood when I talked to him about it. While talking about the alcohol being served (we are also providing a few bottles of wine at each table), we got on talking about using wine to toast with. He said that he would be toasting with beer of all things. I thought he was kidding, but nope. He said it didn't make a difference, I said it was trashy, and it ended with me saying that he didn't care about the wedding. I mean, I've calmed down a bit now, but I still think it's a trashy thing to do! Have him toast US at our WEDDING with beer? Am I wrong here? I asked him why, he had no real answer, I know its not his favourite, but just a sip @#$%!!!
2007-02-20 13:18:37 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think dlmrgnk hit it right on the head for me. I feel that that it has more to do with me, than anyone else. I feel that it is an important thing, and maybe I'm feeling that by him having beer to toast us with, that is what he is comparing worth to.
When I type that, it sounds stupid though. I think maybe I just needed to pick on something today, I'm totally stressed out. :( ... Thanks everyone. It shouldn't matter, and to the girly who said I was upset because I was overextending ourselves, that's not the case. We can afford it, I just wasn't planning to spend so much! We arn't going into debt at all, we arn't getting what we can't pay for in cash. No credit cards are being used for anything.
2007-02-20 13:32:23 · update #1
I think you may be over reacting just a little - keep in mind that this is his wedding. On one hand - you find it disrespectful to you to want to toast with beer - on the other hand - why should he have to celebrate HIS wedding by drinking something he doesn't like? Isn't that disrespectful to him as well? I would suggest a comprimise - let him have beer, in a wine glass so it doesn't look so tacky.
I have also seen weddings where the couple has used applue juice or even water to toast when they didn't want to have wine - it's not WHAT you drink but WHY you drink it and WHAT words accompany it.
2007-02-21 00:54:59 · answer #1 · answered by Chrys 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its your wedding! Why not? Not everyone likes wine. I toasted my wedding with a manhattan and my hubby toasted holding a beer. We had an amazing day. The toast did not make the day great, but the friends and family and all the love that was spread on that day. I will never forget it. Remember to pick your battles.... is this one worth the effort?
2007-02-20 21:23:35 · answer #2 · answered by julez 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
trashy?? man do i feel bad..im gonna be toasting with beer..i dont like wine..it gives me a headache. maybe i just havent had a good one..but if thats what he wants so be it..thats what everyone says about the last few weeks..dont stress over the little things..and that is a little thing..girl as long as he shows up and is healthy enough to have a drink to toast..be grateful...
2007-02-20 21:59:02 · answer #3 · answered by torrescy21 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does it really matter what he toast's you both with, the point is he will be toasting you both on your wedding day. I mean the day that says you want to share the rest of your days with that man, be happy. But thats just my opinion and i didn't spend a lot of money on my wedding day, saying that i am still married after being with him 21 years and married 14 of those years. Good luck
2007-02-20 21:31:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The big day is not just your big day it is his too. I think that you are dealing with a lot of stress right now and you need to sit back and watch your favorite romantic movie to remember why you are getting married in the first place. Beer can be tasteful if it is poured into champagne glasses, it looks just like champagne.
Think about where you can compromise. This would be a good place to say "okay baby, I love you." Remember you have a lifetime together and that should make your heart melt.
2007-02-20 21:30:05 · answer #5 · answered by Amanda G 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know how stressful wedding planning is and that you want the day to perfect, but honestly, no one will even remember the next day that he toasted with beer. Pick your battles, there might be something much more important down the road to insist on.
2007-02-20 21:28:14 · answer #6 · answered by bellajay 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You toast with wine.
Why in the world are you paying for the food and alcohol in full before the actual event? Have NEVER heard of that! The food cost is usually calculated by the number of plates, and corkage by the number of people. Hope you didn't get burned...
You two need to calm down, and spend some time together NOT talking about the wedding, but about your relationship and the upcoming marriage.
2007-02-21 08:28:12 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, I must say that I am in agreement with you! I am planning my own and I wouldn't like that myself. If that is what he wants though, why don't you let him and his buddies do the toast with beer, and have you and the rest of your guests have a more traditional toast. Honestly, no one is going to remember those trivial details about the day except for you. Good luck.
2007-02-20 22:46:52 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs.A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Concentrate on what matters. If that REALLY matters to you, and you feel a toast with beer will ruin the whole deal, go after him and put the hammer down. But remember, what he has in his hand as he toasts you doesn't mean a dam thing about your worth, value, lovability, or couth.
2007-02-20 21:27:37 · answer #9 · answered by DelK 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Of all the disagreements you will have in your relationship/marriage, THIS is NOT one to get upset over!!!!!! Just keep it all in perspective. You can have wine if that's what YOU like...he can have a beer. No one else will care. Trust me....breathe! Relax and enjoy this time of your life together. You are spending this chunk of money so that everyone (including YOU) will have a good time. Don't spoil it by worrying about details like this!
2007-02-20 21:26:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋