Waiter ......... uh........... I'm not done?

Question

TWICE this week I have been out to dinner, and the waiter asked if they could bring a to-go box before I was even finished with my dinner. My husband was done because he a typical guy - shovel it in until you can't eat another bite (relax guys) but I am the enjoy each bite type. He was back with the check before I was done, and cleared my husband's plate. It seemed strange, almost rude. What do you think?

Lots of great answers here!! If it matters, my fork was still in my hand, never lying across my plate. And if anyone wondered, we still over-tipped. I wouldn't tattle to a manager just because of that, especially since it was hard to tell if was purposefully done. I just thought that since I usually push my plate to the side a little as a huge sign that I'm done, AND my fork was still in my hand. The second night was a place that boxes you food up for you, so it wasn't even like he could've left the boxes for when we needed them. I did quit eating 3 bites before I was done, because he was standing there. I would much rather have the check early though, than wait 10 minutes for it to show up. That happens more often than not.

Geoff-
Not that I have to explain myself to you and your LOUSY attitude, but since you are so concerned, our first night out to dinner it was for my birthday, with my husband and our kids. The second dinner was 3 days later, a date with my husband for the first time in THREE MONTHS, that I even paid for - but "thanks" for your "advice". By the way Geoff - I checked out your questions. They are a riot!! (Well, not for you so much - but for other people laughing at you. Way to go!!)

Answer 1

The waitstaff needs training. If I cared about the restaurant (say, it was in my town, and I thought it reflected poorly on us) I'd drop the owner a little card. Explain what you appreciated, and then explain what kind of experience you had with the service. The world needs more courtesy!

Answer 2

Very rude! I worked in fine dining and the owners were very strict on these things. We weren't allowed to serve the next course until the customer was finished with the last one. That was part of our job--the judge when to bring the next course. We weren't allowed to take plates away until it was clear that the person was finished eating. Even then, we offered coffee to the person who had finished well ahead of the others. When it was obvious that someone was finished yet there was a lot of food on the plate, we offered to take it back and box it up for them---but we didn't bring it back to the table until we brought the check. We never brought the check until the table was cleared and after dinner drinks/desserts were offered. When we brought the check, we offered to refill their coffee and assured them that there was no hurry. If we had done the things that your waiter did, we would have been chewed out for 15 minutes (at best) and possibly terminated on the spot. The owners wanted to be known--not only for their food, but their service as well. And the customers generously showed their appreciation with great tips!

Answer 3

Jilly, you got a bad server. My best guess is that he was pushing you to wrap it up so he could get you out of there and "turn the table." The more times he gets a new body in that table the more times a tip goes in their pocket. Pretty common restaurant maneuvers - we all played the game. He could just be extending a courtesy to you by offering a box while he was clearing the plate for you husband. Regardless, bringing the check out before asking you if you were finished is pretty thoughtless - I may have docked his tip for that. In the future, a firm but polite "I'm still working on this" will get him to buzz off and give you more time to finish your meal.

Here's a hint too: The international symbol for "I'm done with my plate" is to lay your fork and knife down in an X over the plate. Next time you can see if a better server picks up on this!

Answer 4

they are under a lot of pressure to clear the tables, and the more people they get seated the more tips they get. . . . and even though to a certain degree i think it is rude, they should not be 'rushing' you out of there. But on the other hang I have waited in some restaraunts for like 20 minutes from asking for the check or a box to even get it. So sometimes when they leave it there ahead of time its nice when you dont have to ask. Just know that they dont need to make you feel rushed. . .. I was at olive garden recently and my sister was done with her food and i was still eating, and the women took her plate and tried to take mine, im sorry i was still eating that. ... then she set my pate back down and said 'oh then ill bring you a box' even though i never asked for it she came back with the box and grabbed for my plate again to box it up. . . . i had o repeat myself and tell her i was still EATING. . . and i asked her to leave the table because i felt like she was being very rude. Those kinda things do piss me off, and your not wrong in thinking that was rude, I feel the same way

Answer 5

Sometimes, when you're just sitting and not touching your pile of food for a while, waiters might think that you're finished. If you were still in the process of eating, I'd say the guy should have waited a little longer. Usually they're supposed to ask if you're all finished before they clear the plates.

Answer 6

First of all - well done for getting two meals out in a week!

2nd - Yeah I'd be really annoyed. Next time you should say something like "I have paid to eat here and that's what I am going to do". Or at least say "excuse me we aren't finished yet" or, "oh, so I won't order the $100 bottle of wine then seeing as you have already bought the check"

anyway - short answer, yes very rude you have paid for a service and should be treated with respect!

Answer 7

I've been in the restaurant industry (mostly as a waiter but I bartend too) for about 9 years.

What has happened to you in fact is what waiters are taught to do in their training.

You need to be a little understanding that as waiters we also have to "read your mind" a little bit.

We need to determine how much attention to focus on you without completely neglecting you and at the same time without completely bothering you.

We must determine when is too soon to bring something and when it is too late. (In fact in my store we are trained to drop the check when we check back to see how the food is. This is so the experience isn't ruined by waiting 20 minutes for a check. I leave it on the end and usually tell my guests that I'll be their cashier but not to rush, to sit back and enjoy themselves, that I will be there whenever they are ready. )

To begin, If I see a plate that is completely gone I will remove it simply because the person has no use for it anymore. With the plate removed they now have elbow room to do whatever else they want.... plus its a sales tactic. You are more likely to purchase something else (maybe a dessert) if you have the room on the table for it.

Now if I just cleared your husbands plate... I'll ask you if you are full and would like to take the rest home. I know when I go out to eat, if the other person finishes, as so long as I'm not famishly starving anymore I'll get the rest of mine boxed up just so they don't have to wait around and watch me finish eating. Better to ask then assume that you are still eating. Maybe you're waiting for me to ask you for a box and now my service is too slow. (you see the dilema of having to read minds?)

You stated that you savor your plates bite by bite, which is fine. But it could have been that the waiter only saw you during those seconds in which your fork was in your plate and not in your hand and thus thought "well, maybe she's full now".

Point is, the waiter is doing his best to judge your desires. Assuming he didn't just take your plate without asking you, I don't see the problem with him asking you if you are finished. Next time just politely say "No thanks, I'm still eating" and chances are he'll say "No problem".

Now if he throughout the evening was plain rushing you, well then that is rude and should have been brought to a manager's attention.

Best thing to do is just communicate with the service staff and usually they will prove to been very accomodating people.

Answer 8

It depends. It was not rude when the waiter offered to bring you a box. If you didn't intend to use it later, then just say you don't need it. Simple. He was just doing his job. Like someone else said, they get so busy, they often forget to bring you the box.

Second, it may have been rude for bringing you the check. If you were obviously still eating, then yes. If you were done, he could have said, "here's your check, whenever you are ready." Nothing wrong with that.

Answer 9

sounds rude but is it really just that they have not been trained to look for signs of a diner being finished such as the tableware across the plate in the middle or the napkin placed back on the table
how about a note or word with the head waiter or manager about the waiter being just a bit premature with clearing the table.

Answer 10

It's very rude. Unless you were taking an unusual amount of time to eat (way more than normal) than that waiter just got his tip reduced to probably zero. When restuarants are really busy they need to get people in and out as fast as possible but you still need to have enough time to eat!!