what do i do? I apologize for long writing so much but u need a quick history of this rlshp. i dated this guy

Question

for almost 3 years and rlsph ended in 2002 even though we still cared for each other. he started dating some lady right after we broke up and as he was about to break up with her (3months into the rlshp) so we could try again, she trapped him by getting pregnant. he felt the right thing to do was to marry her. i thought this was a bad idea but he did what he felt he had to. it was a nightmare for him. he was married to her for about a year and within that time he had another child with her. he is divorced now with two kids with his exwife. we have remained close friends all thru this time, with much love for one another. and i recently told him how i felt and that i wanted us back together. just to find out again now that the girl friend is pregnant. how messed up is that? another woman has trapped him again. i am angry with him, i feel like he is so gullible and didnt learn the first time around. i am so sad cuz i believe that we are soulmates but i cant be with him. thoughts?

Answer 1

Think you should really think long and hard about what you just related above...this man has two children and another on the way for which is morally and financially responsible for raising...it you do get back together with him, you need to go in with open eyes that you are going into this full well knowing that you have to be willing to accept these children and his obligation to them as part of your own.

These women didn't trap him...he was a willing participant that didn't take the proper precautions himself (he left it up to the women and/or fate) to avoid unwanted an unwanted pregnancy.

He is not gullible; he shows poor judgment, lack of responsibility and not learning from past mistakes...this is something else you need to go into with your eyes wide open as this is not something that is going to change if you do end up getting back together.

If you can accept the above and still want to give it a go, then talk to him about his current situation and help him sort out if he wants to stay with his current girlfriend because he loves her, or is he making the same mistake he made before and remind him how that turned out. The ultimate choice of what he wants to do is up to him as to what he wants to do. If he decides to stay with his current girlfriend, you could just be torturing yourself by remaining friends and keeping in contact with him and it might be best to terminate to relationship entirely so you can heal and move on to someone who is available.

Answer 2

Either this guy is not a believer in condoms or that he wants to hint that he'd rather have you as a close friend only. It sounds too coincidental to be guillibility on his part, I think he may be planning it. The ladies always got pregnant as soon as you decided to get back with him. Isn't that suspicious?

He probably knows that you don't dare to stop him from going back on his promise to be with you, because you place more importance in having a father around a child than your promise. You dated this guy for 3 years and never fell pregnant with him, right? Shouldn't this make the circumstances of the pregnancies suspicious, especially with the 3-month girlfriend?

I don't really agree with your conclusion that 'another woman has trapped him' again. It may only be partially true, because he is to blame as well. Why doesn't he try harder to prevent the pregnancy by talking to his partners about pills or just by wearing condoms if he acknowledges the importance of getting back with you in the future?

Your anger is justified but please throw away your sadness. Your caring qualities are wasted on this guy. He wants it all, have the closeness of the relationship that you provide him with but without the hardships of an actual relationship. He can't give so he must not receive. Please give time to yourself to think about yourself. Think about what would happen if you get together with him and the demands that the children and their respective mothers would press on him. Would you be happy? Soulmates are an aspiration but there has been no scientific/otherwise proof that you only have one in life, so look for your other soulmate.

Answer 3

i might could say Gary Leeman. Wayne Babych scored at a 40 purpose p.c.. for 3 in the present day years and become hampered with injuries. Bobby chippie become a brilliant participant, between the youngest 50 purpose scorers, then he became a protective forward. Hakan Loob, how can each and every person say Hakan, he left the NHL after his 50 purpose season or he in all threat might have accomplished it lower back, he become a element a pastime guy. the human beings who stated Mogilny and Brett Hull are idiots certainly Gary Leeman, too undesirable he could no longer score on the ice besides as he did off the ice.

Answer 4

Wow I really feel for you, some guys just don't get it. Buthave you heard this " If you love someone set them free if they come back to you they are yours, if not, It was never meant to be" I think maybe you should have a serious talk to this guy and see if he truly cares for you, if he does it will work out in the end , but in the meantime you be careful sounds like you have wasted a long time waiting on someone who is uncertain

Answer 5

Trust me, this guys has serious problems... you are better off as a friend than a lover.

Once he has learns to live a stable life, and that would take a year at least, you might want to give him a chance.

You are better off finding another man. You know you can do better.

Answer 6

Hmm , it seems this guy doesnt practice safe sex, therefore you should run a mile.

Seriously, if he REALLY wanted to be with you he would be right now - chold pending or not.

Move on honey - you dont want his dirty d*** anyway!

Answer 7

I would imagine that he knows about birth control? I don't think he was trapped, more like he was irresponsible.