Was this a good reaction?

Question

My son is 5 and in Kindergarten. He has always hated his homework, which all he has to do is write the letter of the week and draw 3 pictures that start with that letter. I always get very involved & help him, letting him trace my finger to see how to write the letter, and even getting my own peice of paper & showing him exactly how to draw certain pictures. Well, here lately, He's been horrible at trying to get him to do his homework. He gets overly dramatic when he's upset or frustrated. When he does his homework, he sits there for 30 minutes, or longer, and does nothing. Then he complains"I hate homework. ""Homework is stupid"" I want to get a bad grade, I don't care." He messes up on purpose, then erases, again & again, sometimes ripping the paper. The last time he pulled this, today, I simply picked up his paper, ripped it in half, and said "Fine, if you want a bad grade, you'll get one." and threw it away. He bust into tears. Was this too harsh? Should I give him another chance?

Answer 1

Probably over-reacted a bit there mom, we all do it. :) My seven year old is in first grade now and they have them reading actual chapter books in her class now (small chaper books but still not something that I was reading when I was in 1st grade!) School has gotten harder.
Try putting yourself in his shoes real quick... he's learning something that he doesn't understand, something that really bears no meaning since he cannot read. Of course you start with learning the alphabet but that's about as hard as something we as adults have all gone through when we were just starting out... "gotta get a car. Can't get a car without money. Can't get money without a job. Can't get to a job without a car." Seems pointless right? But we all had to do it as frustrating as it was- well that's how he feels.
Get a new paper and sit him down and tell him how important it is to read and what a wonderful world reading can open up to him. Show him really cool books with dragons or spider man or whatever he's into but cannot read unless he learns how. Turn off the television and tell him that reading cannot be replaced with a TV because not all things you read are on TV. Tell him NO television until he starts applying himself in school. This really sucks for a kid!
And then offer to help him again. If he continues, perhaps this problem stems further than " I don't like school work" and you should speak with a school counselor.

Answer 2

I would talk to his teacher. I am a teacher and I have a daughter in kindergarten. Getting them to do a little bit of homework is an attempt to get them prepared for future grades. Part of the problem may be that he is tired. If he is at school all day or half day could be a factor. Perhaps you and he could agree to a time that he needs to sit down to work on his homework. Depending on what works for him, you could create an incentive chart....like a sticker for completing the work and 3 stickers equals a treat etc. Don't feel too badly about ripping up his paper....he saw firsthand how frustrated you were feeling. I would let him hand in the poor work that he does complete, and speak with the teacher.
The teacher will probably question his lack of effort...which may be more effective with him than coming from you.

Answer 3

Just be patient with him. Let him know it's important to learn his letters so he can read to you and he can write letters to you. Make it a game, exciting and he'll get into it. My 6 yo is the same way about her 1st grade homework. If I make it seem like a game or like it's the most important thing in the world, she's all for doing it. I remind her the other kids in her class are doing homework to and her teacher will expect to see some homework the next day. Remember he's still learning and boys don't "get" school as quickly or easily as girls do. I'd have told him he will have to explain to his teacher why he didn't do his homework because I wasn't going to. This usually works for my daughter. I'm a mom to 3 kids. Been through it all.

Answer 4

I'm not sure why he requires homework, he's only in Kindergarten geezz (some teachers). I think you over reacted and probably said some hurtful things (like you have to get a good grade), he's probably doing his best and your words were not all that comforting. He's refusing to try only because no matter where he goes he's forced to do things he's either not good at or just doesn't really care .
Best thing to do is back off and let him do the work on his own. Compliment on his work (no matter how bad it is) and say your doing well. When he meets your approval then really put on a big show.
Remember he has twelve more years to go, don't make a big issue out of it now or your going to have twelve years of battle and lots of tears and resentment. Let him be a kid, he's only five.

Answer 5

Talk to the teacher. It could be he's having trouble seeing or might have a learning disability. Kids will sometimes react to homework that way if they feel that they can't succeed.

Try to find out why he hates homework so much. Kids don't normally want to fail. I think there's a bigger issue here, and I do think you probably were a little harsh. Give him another opportunity to do his homework, and ask him how he'd like to do it. It could be as simple as he wants a little more independence. Just make sure he understands that you will not get angry at what he says.

Answer 6

I think he's probably fustrated. And, homework in KINDERGARTEN??? That is excessive. These are just toddlers not high schoolers. I think that's insane. All it does is give him a negative impression of learning early on and defeat the purpose of having it be fun.

You have to remember these kids are learning the alphabet. They don't know how to spell yet so how in the world are they supposed to think of three things that start with the letter....if they can't even spell. Is this meant to fustrate them? If so, it's working.

I'd have a talk with the teacher. I bet there are other mother's facing your same situation. Get together with them and talk to the teacher and principal. That's ridiculous.

Answer 7

I think it was a fine reaction. I probably wouldn't do it again, but it just let him know how serious you were about getting him to stop complaining and it showed what he was doing in the first place. It also showed that you are not afraid to take action and stuff like that. It was a little harsh, but it is completely understandable. And also give him another chance because he's young. Hah. ♥ Best of luck.

Answer 8

not a good reaction. Try to be positive and get him into school. sit down with him and help. Make sure he knows he will get rewards for doing his homework and getting good grades...if he does do it- make sure you reward him. If you establish good habits now he will hopefully hold onto them. Im sure he doesnt want to dissapoint you so seem interested and proud when he does it. also, if there are older siblings ask them to help , 5 yr. olds look up to older kids...so if they show interest he will.Good Luck!

Answer 9

Maybe alittle harsh. But he needs that, the only way that he is going to try, is if he feel he is doing something wrong so that he can fix it. The truth hurts sometimes and he was hurt. but how else would he know to try, if you act as if it is okay for him to be the way that he is. Get in his butt. about it but in a nicer way. Or make it in to a game that he will enjoy it more. Get him to like it that way. Keep trying mom you will get it.

Answer 10

I think you were just getting frustrated with him and it's not your fault.. parents are entitled to an outburst from time to time.. but you should be more patient with him .. when you were at the same age as he was did you enjoyed your homework? kids nowadays are not the same as how we were before..you can come up with ways to get him motivated..maybe include activities while doing the homework.. shouting at your kid wont help ..it will just traumatize him..