I always meet these guys who do me wrong the ones that use me for sex and who dont really dont care about me they get what they want and then they act differently with me and then its nto like im sleeping with them on the 1st date i wait sometimes months and months on end and now im starting to feel that its my fault in a way because i let this happen or i fall for it everytime what is wrong with me? is it my fault? then i meet guys who wanna be with me and are really truly sincere and then i dont like them why is that?
2007-02-20 12:59:22 · 17 answers · asked by omarionsgirl1983 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know what you mean!! I can so relate.
Do not blame yourself, what would that help?!?
You have to take some time to yourself and figure out what is attracting you to the wrong guys. They must have some good qualities. Perhaps some of their good qualities could be found in another type of guy.
Or maybe it is that you don't really want a serious relationship on some level so you find guys who don't want to be serious.
Look at the guys who like you but you don't like. Is it their personality, looks? Maybe you need to get to know some of these guys before dismissing them. Perhaps some of the qualities you really want may be below the surface.
Either way, give yourself time and take things slow. (easier said than done...I know) Really know someone before having sex and your chances of finding guys only after sex lessen. (although waiting is also easier said than done)
Good luck. (I am not having much luck)
2007-02-20 13:07:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has to do with confidence. I had the same problem with a couple of different boyfriends. One went from everything I wanted until we had sex and then became a jealous freak that didn't let me have a life. The problem is losing yourself (a part of yourself) when you are in a relationship. Usually ends up being a co-dependant type of relationship where you feel like you NEED this person, and when that happens, it is like something in the guy turns off and he doesn't want you anymore. Work on yourself, be happy with who you are and love yourself and the right guy will come along.
2007-02-20 21:03:20 · answer #2 · answered by butterflywndr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You, deep down want to be taken for granted is the problem. Maybe how you were treated at a younger age or something, but I see this all the time. A girl will say "if I could only find a nice guy", and end up with a loser...you ar eno different than a lot of women out there who have this incessant need to be pissed on.
2007-02-20 21:03:22 · answer #3 · answered by St.Jeb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen honey first of all how old are you? being that i have gone thru the exact situation...if your still young and in school...your education should be your main focus...cuz these young boys are nothing but horny teenagers looking for their next thrill and why be apart of that? If any of these guys actually wanted anything besides sex from you then they would understand if you not ready...you said that you've waited months and months before you would have sex...and i bet just like me you thought that meant they actually cared about you...truth is alot of guys love a challenge especially if you give them any reason to believe that they can hit that...and about those guys that really care for you and you don't care for them stuff like that happens all the time...just bcuz they like you and you don't feel the same gives you no reason to feel bad...your doing the both of you a favor by not gettin into someone that your not interested in that's already a bad situation on its own...point blank it wouldn't work out...it took me going thru alot of bad relationships just to realize that the one guy that I never would give the time of day to was always there for me so I gave it a shot and regret the fact that I hadn't done that sooner...hope that helps...peace
2007-02-20 21:16:02 · answer #4 · answered by memyselfandI 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Totally normal behaviour - I def fall into that category - first of all do not whatsoever blame yourself.. you just simply like men who are a bit of a handful and who are bad..that is prob what makes them sexy/ kind of like forbidden fruit..maybe the men who you meet - well you dont go to the good place..for instance - they say over here if you want a husband - you are more likely to find a good one either in the workplace! or at school/university and that the baddies are usually the ones in pubs and clubs - though not always.. the sincere ones are too nice and you get bored by them as they are predictable - try to find a nice less predictable guy who still taxes your mind! or maybe you find the nice guys will prob be too nice to corrupt in bed..dont worry anyway you will know when you find the good one..simply by his actions..and words
2007-02-20 21:06:21 · answer #5 · answered by Babs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey-we all have issues, and as cliched as it seems- recognizing it is the first step towards changing the situation!!
First off- please make sure you are using protection, it is your body to do what you'd like with, but make sure you protect yourself.
Many times, we attract the energy we send out; we are always sending out energy into the universe, we may think we are ready for a stable relationship, we may even truly convince ourselves we are ready, but in fact we have some inner fear holding us back from really welcoming or accepting sincere affection into our lives.
This fear may stem from not feeling worthy of love, not believing in yourself, being afraid if being hurt, or simply not truly being ready for it. Ive been there-hell there are days I still am. We all have been.
Take your time, get to know yourself, your own goals and dreams. Gradually, you'll start seeing the type of guys you are attracting shift until you find a man who treats you like the queen you are, and you are able to reciprocate his affections and respect.
Good luck
2007-02-20 21:09:29 · answer #6 · answered by DIVA_00 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sweet sweet dear no it is not your fault you just fall for their line because you really want to believe what they are telling you.
You trust that what they are telling you then they betray you after you have slept with they.
Then when the one person comes that is truly honest with you and is not interested in you just for sex you can't trust him.
Their is a solution stop sleeping with them no matter what they say if they are truly honorable they can wait until you get married.
2007-02-20 21:11:08 · answer #7 · answered by Tom Sawyer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop letting them treat you like this!! Secondly, the world no longer values people who are sincere. What a mess the world is in.
2007-02-20 21:03:39 · answer #8 · answered by Lisa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know I feel the same way with the guys.I wish they can decide what they like in life.Instead of used Lady's like us all the time.I hate that more then ever.It's not us at all.I think the men get scared of a stronger women than them.
2007-02-20 21:04:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey babe, its not your fault. Your just so used to getting that attention from guys that you like the feeling. You feel that it is love, some of it might be, but there is probably alot that just feels nice and you settle for that. i hope this helps.
2007-02-20 21:06:59 · answer #10 · answered by builtff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋