I'm 21 now, but I had my first boyfriend at the age of 20, so last year. He was older, 26 and we both go to the same university. He was much more experienced w/ girls, while he was my first bf & kiss. We dated for a short while, then HE ended it. It was a very innocent relationship, never went past kissing cuz he knew I wanna save myself for marriage. Neways, once he dumped me of course my self esteem went down, BUT, even while we were dating, he was very concerned w/ looks. Don't get me wrong, people always tell me I'm beautiful & I have a great figure, some even say I look like Angelina Jolie, but my ex would say little things that would bug me. He liked playboy types who looked fake. Also, near the end of the relationship, he was sort of ignoring me, so I called him one night to say goodnight since HE would always do that, & he said something very mean.
2007-02-20 12:17:32 · 26 answers · asked by Hottie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He was coming home from a party & when I asked how the party was he said: "Oh, u know there were so many hot girls there, u know the type that look like strippers & look really dirty”. I was shocked & just said bye quickly. I was REALLY hurt & couldn’t believe he said that to me, cuz I know I’m beautiful & he would always give me compliments before. I knew the relationship was over once he said that. Neways, I now feel like he ruined my self-image. I’ve dated other guys after him, & many guys give me compliments but b/c he was my first bf, I think his comment & his attitude on beauty have scarred me somehow. Because of him, I always feel like I’m never pretty enough or good enough. How do I get over this feeling?
2007-02-20 12:17:43 · update #1
By the way, people said I was way better than him. He's Chinese, 5'7 and he's chubby with a belly. I just don't understand how someone not that hot at all, had such high standards of beauty, while I AM beautiful?
2007-02-20 12:17:57 · update #2
The guy is a jerk, and you believe what that jerk told you. He is not worthy of you. I could tell you are much more beautifull, because your heart is noble and deep. What do you care of what a shallow faced, individual said. If you are saving yourself for marriage you are very beautifull indeed. Most men do want to get laid but secretly admire the rare ones who are saving themselves. Yes he did offend you, forgive and forget, to get past this you have to forgive even though he is most unworthty. Once you forgive this will be nothing but a distant memory. Trust me on this one.
2007-02-20 12:30:53 · answer #1 · answered by Andres 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like he was being mean because he was wanting to break things off. Some people don't have the guts to end it, especially when they don't have a good reason. He was probably trying to push you away. Why? My guess would be that he still has growing up to do, and right now just enjoys being a player. Never let a guy bring you down. You should be the only one with that kind of control over yourself.
2007-02-20 12:23:42 · answer #2 · answered by Lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By having such high standards, he makes those around him feel like they have to prove themselves to him. Case in point: you are still concerned about an arrogant loser like him when you have much better guys to chose from. It's the same things abusive men do to their wives: scare them into beleiving no one other than them would hang around them because they're so ugly, etc..
I suggest you realize that this is a type of guy that enjoys putting others down. If you feel you are beautiful then others will see you as such.
2007-02-20 12:23:59 · answer #3 · answered by dmlk2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let this guy get to you, you obviously know that you are pretty and he is just being an ***. You didn't give him what he wanted and that is why he probably ended it. He sounds like he likes to screw around alot so you are better off without him. If he wants the fake girl let him have them and you move onto someone better. By the way he only said that because he knew it would hurt you.
2007-02-20 12:24:47 · answer #4 · answered by jimmy_chick78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatta jerk!! it sounds like he would just try to lower your self-esteem to make him feel better about himself. If he felt good about himself he would not feel a need to make you feel bad. Just think about it you are better off without him, he did u a big favor now you have the chance to meet someone better, I believe that in time your self-esteem will go up and you will look back on this as a learning experience. If he were very good looking, this would be more difficult to do, but since he was "ugly" , you will probably look back on this and laugh...about what a fool he was for letting you go.
2007-02-20 12:26:24 · answer #5 · answered by Pinklady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off usually people who put others down and are very much in to material beuty lack their own self esteem. Second him saying what he said was his way of driving you away cause he was done with the relathionship. If you belive you are beutiful then anything anyone else has to say doesnt matter. Let it go and move on.
2007-02-20 12:23:35 · answer #6 · answered by Jessica S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you have such little confidence in yourself to let another person determine if you are beautiful or not...You need to get in touch with the beautiful person inside...Actually your outside beauty can become a hindrance to you if it becomes your main focus...Beauty is as beauty does...Be a beautiful person from the inside out...That is when you will "KNOW" you are beautiful and people with their callous remarks will not be able to throw your confidence off...because your confidence will not be based on the external...good luck.
2007-02-20 12:27:23 · answer #7 · answered by ticklemeblue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a porn lover....you didn't need him anyways...He is a loser to put down such a wonderful person such as yourself..It sounds ike to me he was trying to change you and make you one of those "fake" girls in his dreams... Get over him... Your prince charming will find you one day don't rush. That was a boy not a man...(you need a man that will love you for you and nobody else).... Good luck girl
2007-02-20 12:25:28 · answer #8 · answered by lilnique 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
awww hunn dont feel bad at all, if a loser like that became ur bf, and dumped u, its for the best - he doesnt deserve u - from wat i read he sounds like a man w.h.o.r.e and just ignore him. u seem like a lovely person and come on, i think u should b a little happy u got rid of him based on the description u gave lol
dont worry bout it, ull get back on ur feet, if u wanna talk some more u can email me
everything happens for a reason, and this happened because God was getting rid of him to bring the right person in your life =]
2007-02-20 12:23:42 · answer #9 · answered by blank 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Plain and simple girl, LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! If he doesn't want you and he makes you feel bad about yourself, then you seriously need to just put him behind you. Just completely remove him from your life. Don't let him tell you anything about yourself. He said the thing about stripper girls just to upset you--and it worked. You're letting him win, and he's having fun playing the game with you. Quit the game.
2007-02-20 12:24:55 · answer #10 · answered by Nichole H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋