I have a new relationship with a good woman but...?

Question

I dont have the same love for her that I had for my past bad women. This woman is 10 times better than my past. What is wrong? I want to feel the love I had for them, for this woman.

Answer 1

every relationship is different! why do you want to feel the same way for the good as for the bad? no! just go with the flow and don't rush into loving somebody. If she is better, your love will be different and better.

Answer 2

That may be why you feel different around this woman... If it's a new relationship just talk to her more, develop your feelings, each relationship is different, no matter what the outcome the way you feel in each will not be the same even if you have a bad past with women. If you just started going out with her then give it time.

Answer 3

B/c you r still in love w/ yr. past... maybe you r too judgemental about the past woman .... Maybe she was very good at heart & deep down u knew it but didn't want to accept it b/c of the way u met or circumstances that were present. Did u really know her well? { the past gl.} @nd. Maybe the new relationship is in the same boat. r u truely seeing each person 4 who they r? What makes a woman BAD? If she is so BAD why were u w/ her? Sometimes our insticts r right on , MANY times they r NOT...

Answer 4

I think you shouldn't be so anxious about it. You seem to appreciate and respect her a lot for now, plus you must like her as well since you got involved with her.

From my experience, men need more time to (think they) love a woman than women do. Regardless if this is true or not, I think you should enjoy being with her for the moment, for now, and be open to new feelings of love and affection. It will possible come, and if not, you will have tried.

Also, I noticed you talked about past "bad" women. Could it be that they insisted on making you jealous that you grew so attached to them? Or because of their bad attitude? That was the case for me too, I used to like the "bad" boys, in that sense. It took me a while to get used to being attracted to someone for other reasons than this constant power-play but once it happened, it was more fulfilling and more satisfying than ever.

So my main advice is, give it time and you will know.

Answer 5

It is the feeling of constant need of drama. It goes the same for females who fall for the bad boys. Notoriously, females are attracted to men who are bad for them. On one end, you have the nice guy. Sweet, charming, loveable...but highly dependent, lacks self-confidence, highly insecure, etc. Basically, whipped. On the other end, you have the jerk...rude, selfish, outspoken, but also confident, secure, and very independent. It is those last three qualities (confidence, self-security, independence) that women are most attracted to. It's important to note how women react to the spectrum. Women are emotionally attracted to the nice guys. These are the guys who they'll come to for emotional support - they'll be open and honest with them, and even expose their secrets and what not. But women are physically attracted to the other end - the extreme right, the jerk end. It's not that they like jerks specifically, just the qualities they possess by nature (strength, security, independence...). So what do women want? Ideally, they want a guy who falls in the middle ground - is nice, sweet, caring, but also is confident, independent, etc. When women say "Nice guys are hard to find", they are talking about the middle ground guys, who admittedly are a bit rarer than your average nice guy/jerk. Oftentimes, if they can't find that middle ground guy, they'll work on averages...get their physical needs from the extreme right, their emotional from the extreme left, and that will give her a middle ground of sorts. Or, women will start from the extreme right, the jerk end, and then try to bring the guy down to middle ground by "changing" him. They start on that end because that is what is attractive to them. Just because you are attracted to the bad girls, doesn't mean you can't fall in love with the 'good girl' you're with now. Love takes time, go with the flow, let things pan out.

Answer 6

damn...well. if its not there can you force it? what comes about between you is what you have to go with. if you wish to take more time to see if you feel different then do that. there is nothing wrong with investing time in someone. the bad women probably made it more challenging for you and that was probably what led you to enjoy them so much. sometimes there contention is happiness but struggle can bring a feeling of progress...which is why you are not focusing the happiness with this one as much as you are focusing on the struggle of changing your feelings. once that's done it will be something else...so dive into the test of making more with the good girl, don't treat her wrong...or she'll be a bad girl for good!...

Answer 7

It is the same way with women when you get all these bad ones and finally find the good one you have no idea what to do with her. you have to give yourself time. You knew what to expect from the bad ones and also knew how to treat them, now this one is good you have to do the oppisite. the good ones are hard to come by but when you do you better hold on tight and not let go. So it will come and just let yourself go with this one.

Answer 8

My theory is that we get involved with people that we know deep down are not good for us and unattainable coz deep down were not ready to be real, i mean why would we get involved with 'bad' people if we weren't being real to. Unless of course we prefer to be the 'victim', then that's is not real either. If you got yourself a good woman and you are truly ready to be in a real relationship, then I suppose soon you will become use to having someone around with integrity, and began to trust her, then you will have a real genuine love affair! have fun!

Answer 9

dress her up like a dude and you'll feel that old spark.

Answer 10

put more air in her.