Here's one of my favorites:
There are 2 ladies in their early 30s, and then one lady in her early 50s. They're all sitting stark naked in a sauna when they hear a beeping noise. One of the 30 year old ladies then looks at her wrist and explains, "oh, that was my pager, I had a chip put in to replace my old one." Moments later, they all hear another beeping noise and the other 30 year old lady messes with her ear and explains "oh, that was my phone, I had a chip put in to replace my old one." Well, the older lady, not wanting to be outdone, goes into the bathroom and comes out with a piece of toilet paper sticking out of her bum and smiles while saying "oh, I must have gotten a fax!"
Do you guys have any?
2007-02-20 10:38:52 · 7 answers · asked by qtpie16707 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Nice.
A guy signs up with a programme to lose weight. They promise that you will lose 10 lbs in the first week. The first morning the door bell rings and a naked 19 year old is standing at the door with sneakers on. She says if you can catch her, you can have her. She takes off running and without thinking he takes off after her. He eventually stops because he's out of breath. This happens for the whole week. At the end of the week he get's on the scale and actually lost 10 lbs. He was impressed so he calls and signed up for another week.
The next week the bell rings and a beautiful woman is standing naked at the door with Nike sneakers on. She says if you can catch her you can have her and takes off running. Without hesitation, he takes off after her as well. This goes on for another week. At the end of the week he weighs himself and has lost 20 lbs.
Really impressed now he decides to go for broke and signs up for the last treatment. The woman asks if he really wants the last treatment, It's really intense and he says yes. The next morning the bell rings and standing there is Gene Simmons naked in sneakers. He say's If I can catch you I can have you.
2007-02-20 10:59:18 · answer #1 · answered by imahlah 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A Blonde's Year in Review
January: Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February: Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels...Helllloooo!!!... bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!
March: Got really excited - finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months... Box said "2-4 years!"
April: Trapped on escalator for hours... power went out!!!
May: Tried to make Kool-Aid... wrong instructions... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June: Tried to go water skiing... couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July: Lost breast stroke swimming competition... Learned later the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!
August: Got locked out of my car in rain storm... Car swamped because soft-top was o pen.
September: The capital of California is "C"... isn't it?
October: I hate M &M's... They are so hard to peel.
November: Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days... Instructions said one hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!
December: Couldn't call 911... "duh" ... there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!
2007-02-20 18:44:46 · answer #2 · answered by Shelb-N-Ator [[H!ATD]] 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A sales agent knocks on the door of a house and a little boy of about 5 years old opens the door.In one hand he is holding a porn magazine, in the other he has a joint and he stinks of alcohol.
The salesman say: -Hello little boy!Are your parents at home?
-Guess!
2007-02-20 18:52:27 · answer #3 · answered by amateurgrower 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That was cute... how about :
What did one sagging boob say to the other?
You better perk up or someone will think we are a couple of nuts!
2007-02-20 18:44:00 · answer #4 · answered by JustJen 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
funny
2007-02-20 19:12:49 · answer #5 · answered by surina g 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is cute
2007-02-20 18:41:56 · answer #6 · answered by dgreer58 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WAT THE **** DOO U THINK
2007-02-20 18:42:38 · answer #7 · answered by Daria E 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋