So in the last few years my dad, who has always had a bad temper, has become increasingly angry and violent. There's been a lot of emotional abuse before, but now I'm really afraid he's going to hurt someone. He threatens sometimes to kill himself but he won't get any help. He thinks nobody loves him and everyone is against him. One day about a few months ago the family got into an argument and he pulled a gun out and threatened me with it. And, YEAH, I know, I should have reported it. But I knew it was a bluff, and I didn't want to send him to jail. He was sorry about it, and I thought he wouldn't do anything like that again. But last night everything was going fine...family night, movies, popcorn, then someone tells him the proper way to handle a DVD and that starts a screaming argument, and he got so violent, I swear I thought he was going to kill my mom. It's never been this bad before. Any advice on how to handle this? And cutting him out of our lives is not an option...
2007-02-20 10:07:28 · 17 answers · asked by claire5star 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Talk to your mom. She should have some idea of what to do. Maybe go to another family member, preferably a male that your father respects, and explain what's going on. Maybe they can talk to your father without him losing his temper. But if anything like this happens again before you can talk to anyone, don't wait. Call the police and they can issue an emergency petition. They won't arrest your father unless he's technically broken the law, but with the petition (called an "EP") they can take him into the nearest hospital to get him evaluated by a psychiatrist. It sounds to me like your father has some very serious rage problems and he may even have a psychological problem that needs to be addressed. If the police are called, maybe it will be enough to open his eyes to his own behavior.
2007-02-20 10:15:50 · answer #1 · answered by OhKatie! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You dad needs serious help. You should sit down with your mother and have a heart to heart talk about your dad's behavior and discuss what needs to done about your father. The fact that you thought your dad was going to kill you mom and he has pulled a gun on you means that both of you need to get away from him NOW. I know that you say cutting him out of your life is not an option but this man needs help before one of you end up seriously hurt or even killed. Because you state that it is increasing is a warning sign. Please get your family help before it is to late. Your not doing your father any favors by ignoring this problem and your also putting your life and your mothers at risk. No one should be expected to live where they don't feel safe. If your mother is not willing to do anything about this you should speak to a counselor at school. I feel like you should get the police involved before something really bad happens.. There are people that will help you and your mother.
2007-02-20 10:22:54 · answer #2 · answered by gasnshngrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa whoa whoa, if you are being threatened with physical violence you need to contact the police, now, right now. The situation you describe is the precursor to domestic despite turned homicide. Your father sounds like he is suffering from PTSD or some other condition and this needs to be addressed. Failure to do so will likely result in the beating or death of a family member then your father will spend the rest of his days in prison rather than getting the help he needs. You and your family need to address this and by the sounds of it it had gone far beyond the point where a calm conversation with your father is an option. You and your family are being abused, and crisis intervention is needed. Walk away from your computer right now and either call the police or call your local abuse hot-line, you need more help than anyone on-line can give you.
2007-02-20 10:17:58 · answer #3 · answered by despairbear 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Claire, This is SERIOUS. What would have happened if the gun accidentally went off? What if he does kill your mom the next time? YOU have to report this NOW. You have to really think about your own safety as well your mom and siblings. You can even be anonymous, Department of Children and Family Services will check out claims of abuse without anyone telling them who they are. Honey, you are in danger. This is not just a dad with a bad temper, he could kill you and your family. Please do something. I will be praying for you.
2007-02-20 10:13:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is sending up a red flag to you all..He needs HELP ASAP my it be by the family helping him or outside police,dr,anyone just get him the help he needs..You have to have him out of your live so as he gets the help...it may have been a bluff that time but what about the next time are you willing to find out if the gun is loaded??? I would go around and get rid of all the guns with the help of someone do not do this by yourself...maybe he needs to hit rock bottom to get the help he needs..He knows that as ong as you all stand by his side then he will not get the help
2007-02-20 11:47:13 · answer #5 · answered by charmed4412 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take a look at this from a different position. What would you do if he wasn't your father? Would you make the call then? I think you would. It's hard to do the right thing. But it's still the right thing. If his bad behavior is increasing, chances are it will continue to get even more bad. Get help for your family now while you have a chance.
2007-02-20 10:21:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yea report him and get some help for him. There is no way whatsoever he should be doing the things he is doing. He has issues..and he seriously needs help. Honestly, please report him and get him help..it will be good for him. i cannot undertstand people like that..the think the wrold is against them and the have te hardest life..which is not true. he really needs help there is no way to cope with this but get help. if my father ever pulled a gun to me i would not only have him arrested but i would make sure he gets some time. no one under any circumstances has the right to do that to anyone. what is he doing with a gun anyways..a person like him right now and a gun is a bad mixture.
2007-02-20 10:15:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He definitely has a problem. You need to get him help right away. Pulling a gun, even if you think it was a bluff, is extremely serious. He could have a mental disorder that he needs help and treatment for. The best thing for everyone, including him, would be to get him help from a doctor, psychologist, etc.
2007-02-20 10:11:16 · answer #8 · answered by AlyssaH 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call the police, tell someone in school to give you help because if you don't the situation won't get any better just worse. It might be hard to let him go but if you want to live a better life than what it is right now you'll do what's best for you and your mother.
2007-02-20 10:14:36 · answer #9 · answered by Bubblez ♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey. Cutting him out of your lives may be your ONLY option! CALL an abuse hotline in your area. They can help! I know you don't want him to go to jail. I can completely understand that, but if it comes to that...it may be the only way he'll get help!
It's like this. If your mother were hit by a car and bleeding in the street, and told you she didn't want to go to the hospital...you'd call an ambulance anyway, wouldn't you? Well...he's in need of help too. No matter what he says...he needs the help for his own good, and for the good of your family. Please call your local abuse helpline. Call boys/girls clubs of America...or Parents Anonymous...anything. Just talk to someone near you, about your options.
2007-02-20 10:11:22 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa E 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋