Do you have advice for a shy guy?

Question

Can you help a college guy who is completely new to dating????
I'm 20, but I'm completely new to dating. I figure that most people learn this stuff in highschool, but I didn't. So how's it work?

I'm very shy and unconfident, almost to the point where I have considered seeing a therapist, although I've gotten better since I went on my first date (see below).
Thanks for helping a guy out.

PS - I'm not BS'ing you, I've been on one date (last month, she came onto me by the way) and the whole experience of talking with the girl ended in her being impregnated by another guy and becoming engaged to him without letting me know. When she stopped calling, I was crushed like I've never been crushed before, but I'm over her and want to move on.

Answer 1

Here are some rules you should keep in mind,

1. Be yourself. Nothing worst than trying to be someone your not. If you do, she love the person who you ain't and if you get caught, you make yourself look like a d!ckhead.

2. Impress her the right way. Don't just throw gifts and money on her because if she digs it, she is only digging your wallet and if she doesn't, once again you'll look like a d!ckhead who's trying to buy her. On the other end of the scale, don't be a tighta55. You should treat her to make her feel speical but know the balance.

3. Do not act desperate. Ask any woman and they will tell you this is a huge turn off. People likes to feel that the person they're with is not some left-over crumb hat no one wants. Also never bring up about past affairs.

4. Look on the bright side! If things doesn't turn out, don't lose the plot!! No matter how good she is, how much you believe she is the one. blah blah blah.... they are only things that will bring you down. Just think it wasn't meant to be and move on. It is much better to have love and lost rather than never had it. Thats how you get experience and learn.

5. Always respect!! Even if it is just a first date and you barely know her, respect her as a person. Don't be a pig and say and do disrespectful things. There are times you might get lucky and score in the first inners but truly, if you feel you really want to get serious with someone, you wouldn't want her to be so easy like that.

Best of luck!
remember, think with your right head!!

Answer 2

Oh my gosh, im so sorry that that happened to you!
Its ok that you are new to dating and honestly it doesnt really matter.
Just act confident, no girl ever has to know that you've never had a girlfriend.
Most highschool relationships dont last anyway, so dont worry about being "behind" in the dating world. Just be yourself around girls and the good ones will like you for you, and if they dont then dont sweat it, If they dont like you then it wasnt meant to be.
Take advantage of the college atmosphere, i guarentee you that there are so many girls on campus just waiting for a sweet guy to ask them out. Also even if you are shy you can still give the impression that your not. When your heart starts pounding, your hands get clammy, and your face gets all red around a girl, just take deep breaths. And trust me you will be able to calm down. I know because i used to be extremely shy and now i've become pretty confident. It might take a little work but you can do it.

JUST BE CONFIDENT in who you are.
GOOD LUCK!!

p.s. i think shy guys are hott!!!!

Answer 3

I don't know about other girls, but shy guys can sometimes be a turn-on. I say just go out more.."be yourself," as im sure everyone else would say. If you're at a party and you see a girl that you're attracted to, try to initiate conversation with her. If you find that you're still too shy to talk to her, then just try to make eye contact and then give her a little smile and then continue talking to your friends or something. That'll add a little bit of mystery to it, and she might want to approach you. But the whole dating thing in general just works kinda like a friendship does. You meet a girl..get to know her a little, decide whether or not you'd consider dating her or if you're attracted to her. And then ask her out..if she shows signs of interest (giving you her number, comfortably talking to you, subtly touching you on the hand, thigh, etc..small things like that) then continue to pursue her. And making more friends who are girls, and who are just your friends and nothing more, can really help you out as well. Hope this helps.

Answer 4

Just be friendly with them, try taking interest in something the specific girl is into and making conversation ask her out to dinner the worse that can happen is you get a no and the one good thing about being 20 not 14 like in highschool is a no doesnt mean a bunch of girls laughing at you

Answer 5

I remember something my Dad said to me growing up. I myself was very shy. I played the violin, second chair and was so nervous and shy about my talent. This went on for years. One day, my Dad took me aside and said, "Honey, the thing about being a shy person is that nobody remembers the shy people.
The shy people fade into people's memories. I then, realized, that I didn't want that. I wanted to be liked and admired and respected. I developed a sense of humor, worked at being a great friend and also did a ton of charity work to help others. I can now say, that all that work paid off because I have great people in my life, who would lay their lives down for me. And, I them. Good luck.

Answer 6

Think about the things that you think a girl would like about you. That might help build confidences. Start simple. First just get comfortable being around and near girls. Then simply say hi to them when you pass them. If you are ready for the next step keep reading. Start a conversation with a girl. First say hi, then ask her name, ask what kind of things she like to do. After you have been talking to this girl for a couple of weeks, ask her out.

That all I have hope it help. Good Luck! I hope you get the girl you like.


With much Luck,
luv ya T

Answer 7

Hey i'm 20 also and never dated also and still a virgin too. I guess the only difference between you and me is that i've at least been with girls just not out on an official so-called date. My advice is to be yourself

Answer 8

Try becoming Friends with a girl u think u may like get to know her interests, then ask her out on a date, girls like it if u know sumthin about them, rather than a guy sayin, "Hey baby, enough room in those jeans for a guy like me?" Total turn off, guys like that are jerks. And believe it or not some girls like shy guys. Good Luck!

Answer 9

Shy & unconfident is the Kiss Of Death. I know, I'm old,single & never married. My best friends are my two dogs.Seek help emediately for the confidence problem.Good luck.

Answer 10

in basic terms bypass up and consult with him. Strike up an exciting communication and according to threat end with you giving him your kind or suggesting which you 2 could carry out at a movie or end your communication over dinner/ lunch. i does no longer advise you touching him by using fact which could make him uncomfortable. solid success!