I've met a wonderful man. We have been dating for eight months now and both seem crazy about the other in every way. We are both in our fortys. Both of us are divorced and have been for several years. I found out early in the relationship that the doctor told him he MIGHT be bipolar or might be having panic attacks. God knows I dont know what he has. But sometimes he will call me on the phone and want to break up with me. Then in a few minutes to find him at my door step and we talk and everything seems great. And he says to me " Look honey how calm I am now or its gone I feel better now. He talks about a safe place, wants to feel safe. He couldnt be in a more safe place. Says he is scared, scared of what he really cant explain. When we stay busy, hes fine. He tells me he has been like this his whole life. His divorce didnt help a bit. His ex told him, for the last 15 years of thier 20 year marriage she hadnt loved him and wanted a divorce. Running out of space. Can anyone shed light?
2007-02-20
09:28:13
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13 answers
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asked by
Tate
2
in
Health
➔ Mental Health
He works everyday .
2007-02-20
09:46:28 ·
update #1
He does not abuse me in anyway.. He has a heart of gold. Very compassionate, loving caring person. He always says that he cant imagine how I must feel when he gets like that. I Love this man with all my heart, and I know that he loves me, he shows it in so many ways daily...
2007-02-20
10:25:39 ·
update #2
I was married to a bipolar for over 7 years and had children by him. At times he could be the best husband you could ask for but for the other times his moods could change with the winds. It can depend on if they are on medications, if they are taking them properly and if they are working. My ex made my self-esteem take a nose dive, I was in serious financial trouble because he was a gambler and liked the highs that he got from it, and made my life hell. But like I said it depends on if the man in your life is totally committed to you and willing to do whatever to make it work which means seeking medical attention and taking medications properly. The hardest point in my life was having to have my ex committed to a mental institution to try and get him the help he needed. Don't try to be his "safe place" because that can be when he is in crisis and is needing help and needs more than love. Take your time before making a commitment. I'm in my 40's and it took me a long time before I found a truly wonderful man that I don't have to worry about and who makes me feel totally at peace. Good luck with your decision.
2007-02-20 09:42:34
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answer #1
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answered by lucky_lady_blazing 3
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I don't have a husband with a mental illness, but my dad was bipolar. Half the time, he was the sweetest guy. The other half he was in one of his moods and would go get drunk. He abused us physically and emotionally, and overall, he was just really hard to deal with. He was never on medication, and the alcohol made it worse. You need to set some ground rules with this guy. Don't take any crap from him. I know this sounds mean, and it might be hard, but you have to. He needs to be on medication to balance out is moods, and he needs to know that you aren't going to let him use his moods against you. I saw my mom go through this, and it was the most painful thing in the world. My dad is now in AA and doing okay, so I guess that is good too.
2007-02-20 09:56:42
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answer #2
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answered by ashleyuvjra 3
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Sounds like your husband needs to be on medication and take it everyday. I have 20 years experience working in mental health, I received treatment for Major Depression. My brother recently was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, he was always really moody and bad tempered since he was little boy. HIs wife finally said "Go to a doctor, tell him how you act, or I'm out of here." He got put on Lithium and he's a lot easier to get along with now. I think you should do what my sister in law did.
2007-02-27 14:28:39
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answer #3
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answered by majnun99 7
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The difficult thing is that relationships with people who are bipolar are more common to end in divorce. It happens pretty often.
Before you make any committment, walk with him through treatment and if he needs to be on a medicine, make sure he is on a stable dose and it is working. Make sure there is a relationship with a therapist from the very beginning. Otherwise, when problems come up, things can be very hard
2007-02-20 09:34:42
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answer #4
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answered by greengo 7
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You can't be maybe bi-polar or maybe panic attacks. it is one or the other. Being someone who has panic attacks all the things he is doing and saying does sound more bi-polar. He needs to find a good psychiatrist who can properly diagnose him. Then he could be medicated right and you won't have to go through all this. He also needs the help of talking to a Psychiatrist. You can't be his safe place because you sound like if anything were to happen to him you'd blame yourself. His ups & downs aren't fair to either one of you. Good Luck
2007-02-27 07:01:09
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answer #5
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answered by Kat 5
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Ok so I always believe that people need to be given a chance but I married a man who was bi-polar and life was hell for 4 years. The constant up and downs, threats of suicide, and I won't get into the emotional and physical violence towards me. It was very hard for me to deal with him. He quit his job and blamed be. He hit me and blamed me. He would scream at me tell me he hated me and within an hour would be crying about how he couldn't live without me. Half the time I didn't know if it was me who was crazy or him.....Luckily I got out of that relationship. I would be very careful if I were you and look for any red flags and when you notice them get rid of him!
2007-02-20 09:46:44
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answer #6
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answered by Jennifer M 3
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There are medications his pshyciatrist can prescribe him to help with his bi-polar and anxiety. If he truely wants to get a grip on his illness, then he should be working with a pshyciatrist, taking his medication and doing therapy. I work in the mental health field and I can say from that, and also personal experience, if he's unwilling to do the treatment for his illness, its going to be very difficult for your relationship to work. But it is up to you to make the decision to stay with him if he chooses not to do the work.
Good luck hun.
2007-02-27 10:31:25
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answer #7
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answered by Kellie 5
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I incredibly have been clinically determined as bipolar with generalized rigidity affliction, melancholy and agoraphobia. If i did no longer have my dogs i could be lifeless. i do no longer desire to be residing, yet I additionally love my dogs a lot, i could no longer kill myself and depart her on my own. i comprehend no guy or woman who might take her and look after her like I incredibly have. and he or she is a senior dogs with some continual wellness issues, and who might take a dogs like that. I incredibly have seen killing us the two on a similar time, yet I incredibly have feared i might kill her and that i does no longer die and then what might take place, i might desire to be hospitalized. And, too, if I died and he or she did no longer, it could be lower back to a similar concern of the place ought to she flow. whilst i'm having a hard time she in simple terms will come over and sit down next to me. And my agoraphobia provides me some 2-block radius that i will stroll her. yet whilst i did no longer have her, i does no longer depart my domicile ever. I order in each thing. whilst i'm depressed, she retains me corporation, whilst i'm hectic, she calms me down. once I cry, she in simple terms sits pressed next to me. whilst she does those issues it makes me concentration on her and not what i'm at present feeling which would be effectual in some circumstances. each in specific situations i've got faith under pressure whilst i comprehend she desires to stroll further yet I stroll to a community park this is a block away and enable her play and sniff approximately. i comprehend for a actuality that if i did no longer have a dogs, i does no longer be alive. Even in the worst of my ailments I incredibly have favorite having a dogs and what she does for me in the way of help.
2016-10-16 03:06:55
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answer #8
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answered by ? 4
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He is suffering from mental ILLNESS not HEALTH. It's not going to miraculously go away. Unless you just really love drama and having your chain jerked all the time, I'd move on. It can REALLY negatively impact YOUR career and ability to support yourself if you get involved. He may need to be institutionalized if he is really delusional and cannopt take care of and support himself.
2007-02-20 09:35:42
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answer #9
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answered by justbeingher 7
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He needs to stabalize himself with medication if u think he has a mental illness. You ownt be able to handle this on your own or try to help him. It will end up consuming you as well mentally and emotionally. Trust me. Tell him he needs to see a professional and thats as far as you go with the emotional support.
2007-02-20 09:48:24
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answer #10
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answered by maria s 2
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