My ex is an alcoholic and recognizes it. He wants another opportunity for us to be happy... should I give it to him? I love him to death and used tough love to make it realize...
2007-02-20 09:19:18 · 18 answers · asked by nicensweet 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Love is not always stronger. Sometimes the person cannot give up hiding inside their addiction. But it is all about choice. Your ex COULD choose you over the alcohol. Keep using tough love. Good luck to you.
2007-02-20 09:23:31 · answer #1 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he willing to get help? There aren't many alcoholics who can quit completely without some kind of treatment. And the treatment doesn't even work most times unless the person sought it out themselves and wasn't forced into it.
Ultimatums don't work with addicts. It's horrible to say "You quit or we're through" because they'll leave your *** every time. Maybe not immediately, and they may get clean temporarily, but they'll go back and drive you away in the end.
But yes, some people mean what they say and some people succeed. If he's getting treatment and wanted this enough to ask for help, give him another chance.
2007-02-20 17:25:54 · answer #2 · answered by Leah~Ariana is due Oct. 09~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He recognizes he has a drinking problem, but will he get help he needs for it? Sometimes love just isn't enough. I think the two of you could be very happy together, if, and only if, he gets the help he needs. You can't love someone else to the full potential until you love yourself. Hope it all works out for the both of you. Good luck.
2007-02-20 17:25:11 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends what YOU want. If you continue to stay with him out obligation, then you will never be happy. Do you really think he can reform himself? Have you done research on alcoholism? What about the odds of relapse? Are you willing to put up with this?
My advice is to move on. There are too many great guys out there for you who aren't alcoholics. Life is too complex as it is without having to deal with something like that.
Making this decision is easy since he is your ex. If you were still in a relationship with him, it would be harder to make this decision. Consider yourself lucky and move on.
2007-02-20 17:23:41 · answer #4 · answered by The B Man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES! But it is true what they say....they have to want 2 help themselves. Just be glad your ex is an alcoholic and not a drug addict. I think alcoholics have a larger recovery rate.
A lil' tough love, a lil' honesty love and support....Should bring him right around! But even it out.... too much of either approach will push him away completely or make him think its ok to take advantage of you.
Love is capable of miracles! So pray for him too! That always works for me. ;)
2007-02-20 17:40:36 · answer #5 · answered by Kimber Gem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love SHOULD be stronger then addiction. Sometimes it takes walking away to make someone decode what is most important to them.
When you are in a relationship with someone that abuses any kinda drug we always see things differently then they do. It is not fair and we think that our love should be enough to make them stop but remember that it is an ADDICITON and that is powerful and ofton wins.
Just be strong and do what you have to do for yourself. You can't throw your life away for anyone. If this person really loves you and wants to have a life with you he has to start by losing you and finding himself.
Good luck and make good choices
2007-02-20 17:24:56 · answer #6 · answered by The Voice Of Reason 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love each other and really want to make an attempt to try, then do it. I did. My boyfriend and I struggled on and off with this complex disease, but we are winning. There is only one thing stronger than love and that is fear. If you love someone that is a positive reason to try, but if you fear for one reason or other, then you should think again.
2007-02-20 17:32:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is. If you really love this guy then you will stick it out and give him an opportunity to get better. "For better or worse", the saying goes, and if not because you love then what the hell is it all about.
2007-02-20 17:24:33 · answer #8 · answered by Pierre Patelin Longshanks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to make sure you have the tools to deal with him, and any addictive tendencies he has - one being manipulation. Make sure you join or go to a couple al-anon meetings. At minimum you'll hear stories about people who love addicts and how they dealt with it.
you must be clear about your expectations and what is a deal breaker.
Good luck.
2007-02-20 17:22:48 · answer #9 · answered by katydid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT IS SO TRUE THAT LOVE IS STRONGER THAN ADDICTION BUT WITHOUT ELABORATING, IF HE SHOULD EVER GET OFF THE BOOZE HE HIS GONNA NEED ALL THE SUPPORT ALL THE LOVE HE CAN GET SO B4 YOU WALK AWAY STICK AROUND AND HELP HIM OUT HIS LOVE FOR YOU AND UR LOVE FOR HIM WILL GET HIM SOBER AND OFF ALL THE BOOZE PROVING THAT LOVE IS STRONGER THAN ANY ADDICTION
2007-02-20 17:23:58 · answer #10 · answered by DI'MARIO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋