Help...Relationship problem!!?

Question

I been with this lad for nearly 6 months but i really do love him and recently he has asked to go on a break he said that we were to different and stuff and im too mature im only 17 but I'm only the way i am because of the way i was bought up, I dont want to lose this lad but I dont know whether it would be for the best if we did please help me!! Thanks xXx

Answer 1

have you heard the old saying that if you love someone you should let them go... if they return then it's real.. something like that? maybe a break would really be the best thing for him and if it's good for him do you want to be the one who would hold him back? it might just be good for both of you.

Answer 2

You can't change what a person feels, if he wants to have a break from the relationship, there is nothing you can do to change his feelings. I am sorry to tell you , but it would be for the best. He may need to sort out his feelings or he may just feel that the two of you do not have enough in common. You can't get juice from a dry turnip.Move on with your life, you appear to be mature for your age and probably need someone with a similar maturity. Love yourself, stay busy and if it is not right for you it may hurt for a minute, but if you try to make a person feel different about you, then you become needy and lose some of your self-esteem.

Answer 3

he said you were too mature? that sounds weird... maybe he wants to break up and didn't know how to do it. i'd say let this guy go, you are only 17 and there are many other people out there to date. :) you'll find someone else who won't want a break after only 6 months!

Answer 4

don't pressure him into anything. Ask him once again or tell him that you want to make things work. He he doesn't comply, It , so just let him go because he is trying to break up with you.

Answer 5

“I you love someone then you need to give them the freedom to go… and if they don’t come back you kill them!”

Okay, I only agree with the first part, but this is a common feeling. The problem is that you are a woman and he is a man. I know that is as clear as the pepper that gets into your nose, but it means a lot.

Biologically men are geared to reproduce as quickly, as frequently and as often as possible. This is the best way for them to pass on their genes. Once men discover women they start to think about sex more than 60% of the time. We aren’t pigs and locked in sexual rut, but our biology sets us up this way. This explains why men can reach sexual climax so quickly, why they always seem to be checking other women out and why they have such a hard time making a commitment to one person.

Women on the other hand are designed to need relationships. Giving birth is difficult, as is carrying the baby to term, and raising the child is often just as difficult (especially when they are teenagers). To do this well human women are geared to want a relationship and that means commitment. They need these relations to help and sustain them. It isn’t because they are weak; it is because they have such a hard task to do.

To get pregnant the best solution for a woman is for her to require a mate to stay with her and to spend a long time bringing her to a sexual climax. She also wants to keep that mate to help support her and to join her growing pool of relationships. This is why it requires more to get a woman to reach sexual climax, it is why few women want to play around with a lot of partners and why women prefer cuddling (strengthening the relationship) to the actual mechanical act of sex.

To women sex is the nice side effect of a relationship, where to men a relationship is a nice side effect of having regular access to sex. The difference is in our genes and our instincts. Of course we are not animals and we can rise above our base instincts. Just as a woman can do a job that is normally considered a man’s job like running a company; a man can do a job that is normally considered a woman’s job, like raising a child (of course men haven’t mastered that getting pregnant and giving birth job yet).

So you are facing some core problems that exist between every man and woman. It takes more maturity to raise a child and women become able to carry a child sometime before age 15. Men don’t have to be that mature, they can flit around from woman to woman like a butterfly. So women do mature earlier than most men do.

Now it is possible to find a partner that will want to stay with you and with you only. Many couples meet in high school and stay together for the rest of their life; you do have a hope. However, you don’t have much of a hope with this lad. He wants to experiment and date other women, he wants to run around and ‘sow his wild oats.’ There is a chance that he could feel unsatisfied and come back to you, but it isn’t that likely. He only wants a break so he has a possibility of holding you as his fall back option. Clearly you don’t want a man to use you that way, so you should start looking for another man.

If this lad comes back to you (and it had better be on his hands and knees) then just consider him a casual friend who can be easily be replaced by a better man. Search for that better man and don’t be afraid to date someone who is older than you are, you have a better chance of finding a man that is as mature as you are.

Another hint, men are more goal orientated. Their first kiss is important to them, but it is more important to reach the event then the event itself. Women want the event to be special and something they can remember for the rest of their life. So if you want an event to be special then you need to make it so. The man will enjoy it more if you do that, but few will think to do it themselves (they need your example).

Men are deathly afraid of rejection, and embarrassment. So if you see a man you would like to date then tell him so. Ask him to meet you at lunch, or if you could study together. Then give him clear signals of your interest (or lack of interest). Then he will have the confidence to take it from there. You also set the pattern where he looks to you for a signal to move to the next step in the relationship. Frankly, men would be more than happy to ‘jump your bones’ on the first date. Of course most of us are intelligent enough to know that isn’t going to happen. But, whenever, if ever, you are ready to take that step then don’t worry the guy will be even more ready. What you need to do is to set the pace of the relationship and let him take the lead AFTER you signal that you are ready to go to that point.

When you approach a man to ask him out, do it in private, do it casually and don’t ask him out to the movies for the first time. Keep it casual and give him the signal when you are ready to move on. If the guy doesn’t want to date you and you ask him in private then he is going to probably be direct, that is a man’s default thinking mode. Men can be subtle and indirect, but they don’t normally think that way, women are the ones who do and because they do then think that men are equally subtle, when we are not. If a guy asks, “Do these pants make me look fat?” Then the only answer he is looking for is the simple one when I wear these pants do I look fat? To a woman that simple question means a whole lot more, “Am I fat, do you love me with the body I have, do you still find me desirable?” This is why this kind of question is an unwinnable one for most men. They are looking to give the direct answer while the woman is looking for the undertones and the subtle meanings.

Answer 6

well there are basically two answers
1) your not right for eachother
2) you need to loosen up a bit
hope it helped.