how do i get over a really hard breakup?

Question

me and my ex dated for a year and 3 days ago he said he wanted to break up. i dont wanna beg to have him back beacuse honesty i think i have had enough with the inbetween break ups and breaks. but he was the first person i really fell for.. how do i get over everything without crying every night lik i have been doing? i been feeling very low with no ambition in myself. if u can give me advice about getting over everything..it would be great...thank you

Answer 1

First, you are absolutely right by not beggin' this guy back. You have to show respect for yourself so that others will respect you. Keep your chin up & stay strong. Also, it is normal to be hurt and cry after being in a relationship for a long period of time. It's ok. You will get over it, you really will. do something nice for yourself, whether it's a bubble bath, a new pair of shoes, whatever - go out with your best girlfriends to a movie or to dinner, and have a good time...Reconnect with your girlfriends & keep in mind "this too will pass"...and you'll be stronger and better for it.
(Oh, and chocolate, that always makes us girls feel a lil' better)

Answer 2

You won't like this, but only time will heal. Remind yourself about the interests you had before he was in your life. What did you do to have fun? After a horrible break up I used to go to the gym every night to workout. I had my own treadmill at home, but being around other people made me feel better...even though I had on headphones and didn't talk to anyone. I just needed to be away from my house and my phone and not realize that he wasn't calling, even if it was just a temporary diversion.

Spend time with your friends, and do things that keep you busy and make you happy. You'll notice things will get better when time passes by. You'll have chances to meet other people and make new friends, not just guy friends. When men start paying attention to you, you'll feel better. Don't jump into something....give yourself time to grieve. It sounds like your relationship was intense. Good luck. Find people who have been there and complain. Get some help from a counselor if you don't feel comfortable telling your friends about what you're feeling. Work through it.....you're worth it. :)

Answer 3

Been there, done that. I know it hurts, trust me. No matter how much people tell you, it really doesnt seem to help the pain but eventually you'll get over it and you'll think later on Why in the world you felt so low in the dumps. I thank my very supportive friends for getting me through my breakup. Me and my friends got together and went out and had a great time. We went out of town, went dancing, shopping, just everything that I could to take my mind off HIM. But the going out dancing really did it for me. You meet new people and make new friends and realize that the person you KNEW wasnt the only person in the world. I was healed from my broken heart in no time honey!!! Thank god for the good looking men!!! Do the same, you'll enjoy yourself.

Answer 4

Well... I have been in the same situtation u have been through here recently. The truth is... u r gonna cry every nite. @ 1st I thought this guy,Mike, was the 1 but, it just didn't work out. I didn't want 2 do anything which made me think bout him more. Now, I met this other guy & I don't think bout Mike anymore. So... keep ur head up, u will find another guy & everything will b ok! I'm really sorry things did not work out 4 u. I hope u find the rite advice. Good luck!!!

Answer 5

Anne, truly I feel for you...breakups are terrible and painful and they can be very hard to get over.

I have been through many, including two divorces (first one after 10 years and the second one after 7 years) and all I can say is...you WILL get past it. You probably feel as though your life is turned upside down right now and all kinds of bad things about yourself, but this is normal...a break up is a loss and it's normal to grieve a loss. Let yourself grieve.

An old Native American woman who was a friend of mine used to say, "tears are a river that takes you on a journey". And she's right. Crying helps the healing. It gets the pain out. It's normal to cry a lot when you first break up. Don't beat yourself up for that.

When you feel ready, try getting out with friends or family...people that understand what you've been through and care about you. Try getting back to things you used to like to do for yourself that maybe you stopped doing (or did less) while you were dating...like a hobby or sport or something. Get out and try to meet new people. Not necessarily to date, just to get out there and be social. Again, only when you feel ready to! Try starting up a workout routine, as exercising releases happy chemicals in the brain and often beats depression. Try doing some journaling to get the feelings out of you, but still keep them personal if you don't feel like sharing them. Try doing or learning something creative, like taking an art class or something that interests you and lets you MAKE something. That often feels very positive after something has ended.

Allow yourself time to get over this. Allow yourself time to grieve and heal...because believe it or not you WILL!!

I hope that helps you, even just a little...hang in there.

Answer 6

Dear Anne,
Sorry to hear that. Let's say he doesn't appreciate you at all. I believe a person will have good/bad points but it just that he doesn't appreciate your good points. Many people who fell out of love normally tend to get themselves drunk trying to forget everything. But please don't do that as I don't really recommend it. Some people will tend to keep themselves busy by doing things which they normally don't. No matter what you do, you will still think about him. I trust that you're a girl who willing to give everything for a guy you love but we need to understand that a relationship need mutual trust. And I think that guy you love just couldn't bother after breaking up with you. Tell yourself that you can lead a life without him. He's not the only one in earth that is important to you. You have many friends who care about you too. What you need is someone to care for you and I truly believe that "the prince" will come to you one day without your knowing. It's called Fate and not love at first sight. Hope you will feel good after reading this and May God Bless you in everything.

Answer 7

Like the last person said, find friends, and go out. Live life- don't worry about it too much. If anything, rely on your friends- some can give great advice, and some comfort. If I was your friend(and I'd like to be), I'd be around to care about you as a friend should. Y'know, give you advice, maybe a shoulder to cry on. I know I've got two perfectly good ones. If that would be okay(a friendship), try [e-mail]

Answer 8

1st. you need to get up and get moving. You are not going to get over it by sitting home thinking about him and crying. We are often upset over not the break up but, we think of how it once was with that person rather then what it has been.

Start with "ME" time. Do things you like and make you feel good. Start going out with your friends. Keep yourself occupied. You need to start to love & respect yourself. Do not measure your self worth by what some guy thinks. You will love again.

Answer 9

i will give u an advice it will be hard but if u do it u'll be fine
first u have to know that crying over someone who u loved is not being low crying is a way to get ur emotions out.
try to start an activity...i dont know how old r u but try sth new that u didnt ever do
or something u used to do and stopped, play music or try knowing more about sth in computer or hang out more with friends.
talk to ur self convince ur self that u'll be able to do it dont let ur feelings of weakness overpower u just do it and DON'T LISTEN TO SONGS THAT YOU USED TO LISTEN TO WITH HIM that is the most imp. thing

good luck with that if u need to talk my email is [e-mail]

Answer 10

Listen to me, you are way better than him and its his lost ok you go to the salon get a new haircut and haircolor then buy some new clothe shopping is the best way to realease stress... after that you call your girlfriends and just go aout and have fun meet new people make a girls night out or rent a funny movie and throw a sleepover with your closest friends and to relax just go ans smoke some w>>d... its relaxing you know. And Never and i mean never let him see you sad and DONT CALL HIM.... Good Luck