Need advice on how to let go/forget?

Question

I have recently lost a very good friend of mine, not death but too hard to explain. I want to move on and forget about it or atleast let go of the pain that comes with it. I can't stop thinking about her no matter how hard I try. When someone talks about a best friend I cry or get upset/jealous. I'm on anti-depressants now and go to a pyschiatrist. I stopped seeing my therapist because I didn't like her. Does anyone know how to deal with this situation? I don't want to be holding on to the past anymore. I want to let it go, something won't let me.

Answer 1

I understand exactly what you mean.

1.) I've battled depression my whole life.
2.) I lost my best friend to anorexia, she didn't die, however she beacme so overcome with her image, that it destroyed her personality. When I tried to intervene, she claimed I ruined her life. And after being best friends for over 8 years, we haven't spoken since august.

I hurt almost everyday over this. It absolutley sucks to know that you don't have your other half, or anyone to fall back on. I've sought comfort in all the wrong types of people and it has only worsned my state of mind. I've been to the doctors and I can relate to your opinon in them, cause it seems like they can never give you any alveiating answers, just pills or more therapy.

Unfortunatly the only comfort or answer I can offer you is time. I realized no matter how much I want to move on, and try to with temporary distractions from the truth, my mind is not going to let go until it's ready. My advice is to use this time to find yourself. Think about the qualities in your friend that made her your best, look out for those in new people or friends you may already have. Try keeping busy by spending more time with your family and other friends. It's hard to find a new best friend, because it takes so much building and trust in a relationship, so relief or a replacement in a sense is not going to come easy. Remember to become strog on your own, now, so that you don't become dependant on other people later on in life.

I personally always find, that in my times of despair, my mother is my best resource and comfort.

Answer 2

Everyone takes different amounts of time to heal from a bad experience. Let yourself hurt for awhile. If you want to talk to a therapist, you can try visiting different ones. If you need a referral, just tell your doctor that the last therapist was not appropriate for you and you would like to try someone else. It's important to feel the right "connection" (so to speak) when you're trusting another person with your concerns.

I don't know the type of loss you experienced, but there is a grieving process no matter how it happened. Let yourself grieve, and remember things will get better eventually. Sometimes, the only thing that helps is time.

Answer 3

I can tell you one thing that really helped me. Although our situation is different but I can say I know where you are coming from. Let me tell you something, after braking up with my 3yrs b/f I was useless and devastated. I talked to lots of people about my situation, but nothing seemed to help me at that time. I woke up one day and told my self to change, and that was it. Then my good friend told me to by these books that changed my life for the better. I am not a kind of person who sits and read self-help books, but let me tell you this book is something. I strongly recommended you read this book, and also meditate, get a massage, and do some yoga. Get your mind off of the things that bother you, and focus on your own life. If I can move on trust me you can do it too. Best of luck!

The two books:

The Power is Within You
You Can Heal Your Life
Both of these books are by Louise L. Hay

Please consider reading it, especially “You Can Heal Your Life”

Answer 4

You need to get closure with this friend if they are still around, even if you don't want any contact with them...closure will help..the anti's will help, and really only time..Go do things that you will be active so you won't think about it, in any relationship that is broken, you have to get closure, and then do something good for yourself, keep active, volunteer, nothing better to take your mind off things helping others...but, time is the best way to get over it...and maybe that something that won't let you let go is you still have questions, or your angry which anger is really the cover-up of being scared...try talking one last time to them, and then don't see them at all...out of sight, out of mind, it does work..good luck

Answer 5

when you let go of what you are, you will become what you might be

when you let go of what you have, you will receive what you need


These are feminine or Yin paradoxes:
by yielding, you endure
when you give of yourself, you become more
when you feel most destroyed, you are about to grow
when you desire nothing, a great deal will come to you


have you ever struggled to get work or love and finally given up and found both love and work were suddenly there?

do you want to be free and independent? conform to God's law; that is how everything happens anyway.


when you give up on trying to impress, you become very impressive
when you are just trying to make yourself look good, your inner self and those closest to you know that and does not like it.

your best work is done when you forget your own point of view
the less you make of yourself
the more you are

when you yield to the wishes of your inner self, you will encounter no resistance


this is the wisdom off the feminine:
let go in order to achieve

if you are wise, you will demonstrate this

Answer 6

Maybe you have forgotten to say: sorry, good bye, or forgot to ask why or request apologies?

Best is to write to your frined, a letter, and write down all the things you wish to say. If you can't send it, keep it and make a small area in your home for just that, a picture, maybe a candle and the letter, where once a day, you say what you feel like saying, crying if you need to, and then you go do your things in life. FInd new friends, a sup0port group or simply allow yourself to forgive her or yourself.
As you need to, return to your photo pr letter, add to it if need be and at some point you will notice that you can let go.

Answer 7

This is a major lose and it will take time. You have to find things to take your mind off of her. If it still hurts maybe you need closure. Write a letter; but you don't have to mail it. Keep it and rip it up or read it to yourself when you need to remind yourself why you can't have this person in your life.
I understand; I have been there. I had to cut a few people out of my life in order for me to be healthy and have what I needed. It is hard but in time you will be ok. Good luck and God bless

Answer 8

Find a new therapist. Someone that you feel comfortable talking to and time are the only things that I can tell you will help. It will get better.

Answer 9

i've got self belief which you would be able to love extra beneficial than one individual. i anticipate he knows how strongly you sense for him. If he feels a similar there is not any choose for for all people else in the photograph. you will possibly desire to by no potential settle, and it form of feels which you haven't any longer, besides the undeniable fact that understand which you're a appealing individual and you deserve the main suitable. all of us need to have somebody in our lives that makes us sense we are their selection one. whilst somebody loves you, he might desire to make you sense that he's keen to furnish you the international no longer purely area of it. Dont settle. uncertain how previous you're... yet have confidence me it is going to break like hell, yet sometime you will meet that one individual who will love you to no end.

Answer 10

Only time will some what heal.