(on behalf of friend) My wife and I are having our first child together. We have children from previous marriages. She has told me that she wants as many people as doc allows in room during natural birth delivery, including female friends she has known for a couple years. I am looking to understand because I feel this is a moment for her and I. We don't plan on having any more children. Thanks.
2007-02-20 08:04:36 · 17 answers · asked by Denise D 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
An un-medicated childbirth can be a difficult thing to go through. Having one myself, I can say that. :)
When I was in labor it was wonderful to have many other people in the room. It was a great distraction for me after my water broke and I began transition. The people I had in the room with me were only family members and people I trusted. It is a very intense time and a wonderful one to share.
The hospital staff only allowed two people in the room during actual delivery. I probably would have only had two people in the room anyway (my husband and my mother).
All that said, please share your concerns with your wife. It is quite possible that she will be able to explain herself much better. Her reasons may be much different than mine.
HTH!
2007-02-20 08:20:46 · answer #1 · answered by druanna_fitzrowan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my first child was born I had 9 people in the room aside from medical personal. Only a couple of them were actually invited before hand.
Its not a movie...
Natural birth is a bit unique anyway in that you need all of your capacity to labor & deliver med free. Or, by 'naturally' do you mean just a regular vaginal birth. ??
This is a private, personal and intense situation and having a lot of people in the room is very distracting. My midwife does not recomend having people in the room. Personally, I dont either. If that is not what you want either, then you need to talk about this with her. My husband would never go for that agian!
2007-02-20 09:47:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you pick a fight with her about it, call the hospital and check their policy. Mine would only allow two people, period. So when my ex wanted his mom and everyone else in the room, I used the hospital rules as my backup to say "no".
Personally, I don't think it's a show for others. I didn't tape it, I didn't allow pix of the delivery, and if I'm ever asked to be in the room during labor, I'll be right up top with the washcloth on her forehead because although pregnancy is beautiful, and children are beautiful, labor is not.
2007-02-20 10:39:39 · answer #3 · answered by ~Biz~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have the two of you considered a home birth?
That's the only way I can think of that being anything approaching a good thing. Cramming a lot of people into a little hospital room, with little for them to do, is going to end up more stress than support, I'd think.
I also think it _should_ be for the two of you, and have a hard time imagining her friends will really enjoy being there, but. She's going to be the one in labour; her call.
Bad a call as it may be.
2007-02-20 08:38:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she could be really scared. But you need to sit down and talk to her about it and tell her how you feel and that your uncomfortable with the whole thing. If she doesn't want to consider your opinions then either grin and bear all those people knowing what your wife looks like naked or just don't be there. My opinion is i think is crazy. My husband doesn't care either way but he wouldn't mind the females in his family being there and i outright told him unless he was the one giving birth im not going to deal with this. I only wanted it to be me and him. Maybe these friends mean alot to her or maybe they have been pressuring her into letting them be there. I know i had people that were wanting to be there for my babies birth and my side side just wanted to deal with it because i was intimidated and didnt want to say no. Just talk to your wife. Listen to how she feels, what she wants, and why she wants it, and then tell her your feelings and concerns. If you are way too uncomfortable with it then don't be there. She will only have herself to blame for you not being there.
2007-02-20 08:16:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was totally opposite i did not want anyone in there, but my husbandand my doc. I don't thing that process is for public viewing, very hard to concentrate + you wife does not know how being in labor feels, trust me it's not fun at all and all this people is a moajor distraction. In fact i woldn't even want my mom or anybody be there,but my husband it took only two of us to "create" a baby why should there be the whole world to watch it.
I bet you anything once your wife's water breaks, and she gets major contractions with all that screaming and crying she would not want anybody to see her that way.
Not fun at all!
2007-02-20 08:12:19 · answer #6 · answered by Zolyshka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, she has lots to experience unhappy approximately. with any luck the counselling will help her to bypass forward in existence. It looks like she's attempting accountable you and her ex until eventually now you for the situation she is at the instant in, yet regrettably infertility can impact each and every person. it is thoroughly unpredictable. possibly she become so emotionally centred on attempting to conceive a toddler that she disregarded the different substantial areas in her relationships. it is style of unusual that she might desire to touch her ex in easy terms after getting to comprehend he had become a father. Who is familiar with what weird and wonderful strategies are working by using her strategies. you're able to tell her that she by twist of fate sent the e-mail to you. You should have some solutions. yet are not getting right into a shouting experience, in basic terms attempt to speak flippantly and attempt to discover what it incredibly is precisely that she needs from you. If she had secretly been making plans to reconcile with the different guy all alongside, then you could certainly bypass forward with the divorce. She sounds disenchanted by using fact he moved on along with his existence and accomplished what she wanted. i'm guessing she became him into her decrease back-up plan and now it is ruined. properly that's in basic terms too undesirable for her. it is not your situation anymore. you're able to attempt to come across happiness someplace else. solid success! :-)
2016-09-29 09:31:01 · answer #7 · answered by gizzi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a woman and a mother, I completely understand wanting someone who has been through it in the room with me. Though it is a special moment for the father of the baby, it is also a painful and terrifying moment for the mother. Let her have her way, she will be scared, exhausted and in pain.
2007-02-20 08:20:12 · answer #8 · answered by twrites2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
During something as painful, strenuous and challenging as childbirth, you want as much positive, warm love around you as possible. Have you told her how you feel? You should do that, and also know that we all need the support of others sometimes.. and that is a time where we women value it the most!
2007-02-20 08:09:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
While I think that the actual delivery should be with the people that were there at conception and a doctor and nurse. The labor is different. Give her someone else to talk to and something else to think of. I know when my hubby is worried he doesn't talk much. Me being in pain worries him. So... it is nice to have someone to "entertain" me when he can't. When it is time to push... everyone out. Hubby and I made them alone we will welcome them alone. Good luck ... I know I wasn't much help!
2007-02-20 08:09:24 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs. Always Right 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋