My ex/bf thinks that he may be the father of my son, not my husband. He asked me if I would be willing to do a discrete DNA test. The unwilling incident happened on 3-14-04 and my son's due date was 1-7-05. He was born on 12-29-04. First Day of Last Menstrual Period: April 3,Probable Date of Conception: April 17
Positive Pregnancy Test: April 17 to May 30
Boy or Girl? Early Gender Test: May 30 (6+ weeks after conception)
CVS: June 12 to June 26 (8-10 weeks)
Amniocentesis: July 18 to August 27 (12-21 weeks)
Due Date: January 7, 2005 (39 weeks)
Should I agree to do a discreet DNA test to prove that my husband is my son's father and not this guy.
2007-02-20 07:45:31 · 22 answers · asked by Rachel 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
The unwilling incident is that he rapped me, and I never pressed charges. He siad that he won't sue me if I choose not to.
2007-02-20 07:53:33 · update #1
Ex-bf has no rights whatsoever. What would he be suing you over? He has no rights to your son whether he's the biological father or not. The law in most states assumes that your husband is the father of any children born while you're married.
However, having said that, for the sake of your son's medical history, and the future of your marriage, I'd suggest hiring a lawyer, telling your husband what happened, and getting the test, not necessarily in that order.
(And I don't believe there is a statute of limitations on rape, so you may be able to file charges at any time--you might ask the lawyer about that, too).
2007-02-20 08:42:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You give a lot of dates, but it's more confusing than not. Look, if you slept with the guy anytime around the time when you likely conceived, YES, you should go ahead, do the test and find out. Should it be discreet? That's another question altogether. What if it turns out he IS the father - then how will you tell your husband, "Oh, by the way, I had this discreet test done a week ago." It's best to be honest from the get go. Were you married at the time when you slept with this ex bf? If so, the time to come clean about that is NOW. If you were sleeping with two men at or near the same time, either could potentially be the father. They have a right to know.
2007-02-20 07:51:24 · answer #2 · answered by Marvelissa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this is up to you. Does your husband know about this rape? You should always report rape including this one. I would suggest pressing charges, it does no one any good to let him get away with this, what if he does it to his next ex girl friend? Also if he is the father what does he want? Custody? If your husband knows he could possibly not be the father i would not do a DNA test to avoid possibly having this man interfere with your family. But like I said report this rape and go from there. I might also get an attorney if he starts making more noise about this to protect your family, also start documenting every time he calls or visits and what he says. Good luck
2007-02-20 08:51:45 · answer #3 · answered by laura n 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i want to be selfish with this answer but i can not. it may also depend on his motive does he want to be a active father or do you want him to disappear. if you dont want him around and dont want to take the child from him, do not let him get a copy of the dna results first off. and as a woman it will bother you that you dont know your childs true identity, so yes you should give himt he dna test because most men run from this its obvious and fair to him that you put his thoughts to rest as well as yours. and it seems from my own calculations that yoour conception was around april without even reading your timeline breakdown. i honeslty dont believe the babies his so good luck and post a follow-up.
2007-02-20 07:53:49 · answer #4 · answered by Johnnie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE won't sue YOU for HIM raping you? Ummmmm why does that sound so terribly wrong? You SHOULD have reported the rape when it happened. As for me I'd take the DNA test and hope to HELL it was his and then demand child support and everything else I could get out of him.
2007-02-20 18:04:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are confident you should do a DNA test to give all of you a peace of mind...
If you do not do the DNA test...it is most likely that the men in your life won;'t have that peace of mind because they dont knowl....
so just do it and prove yourself right...in this case I hope you are right
:)
2007-02-20 07:49:46 · answer #6 · answered by abc123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you had a menstrual after the incident there is no way he fathered your child. He raped you once and now is raping your mind. You do not have to prove anything to him.
2007-02-20 08:07:37 · answer #7 · answered by shortansassy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way!
If you had a period after your encounter he's definately not the father. Just be prepared for the worst, he may not give up easy. Be honest with hubby about this - I'm assuming he already knows of the incident.
2007-02-20 07:52:12 · answer #8 · answered by Baby #3 due 10/13/09 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Why would he bring this up.. that is rather stupid. What is on his mind? There has to be a hidden agenda.. he raped you and now wants to see if the baby is his.. that is not registering right to me. Tell him to leave you alone and no the baby's father is your husband.. this is a plot to me.. he has something going on and wants to ruin your marriage.
2007-02-20 08:17:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you even have contact with him if he raped you? Do your child a favor, move foward. No DNA test. Give your child the best life you can.
2007-02-20 08:04:44 · answer #10 · answered by LSG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋