I've been dating this girl for about 2 weeks now, and we have incredible chemistry. We met online, and our relationship is a testiment to the fact that online dating can work. Anyways, we recently discussed what we're looking for in a relationship, and I told her long term (I'm 22, she's 19). She said she just wants to have fun, as she has a lot of goals to accomplish. She intends to be a farrier (managing a barn/taking care of horses) and told me that the job wouldn't allow her to have or raise children, it's too demanding. I think I'd like to have kids one day, and I told her this. I really like this girl, and she seems to really like me. Should I keep the relationship going, and hope that maybe one day she'll change her mind? Or am I just setting myself up for disappointment? Is there any chance she'll change her mind in 5 years or so? I just don't want to invest in a relationship, if it's not going anywhere. I don't think it's fair to either of us.
2007-02-20 07:37:12 · 11 answers · asked by Spiderman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, after reading the initial answers I received, I must say I feel reassured with the decision I was leaning towards. I'm going to stick with it - though it's only been 2 weeks, we've spent a lot of time together, and we're getting to know each other very well. The children thing is one of the only things we DON'T have the same opinion on, and the pros of being with her definitely outweigh the cons. Thanks for all the fast feedback everyone - much appreciated.
2007-02-20 08:02:11 · update #1
well you both are young so you don;t know what will happen in the long run.. I think you should keep the relationship going and maybe she will change as time goes on
2007-02-20 07:41:29 · answer #1 · answered by scytherbug@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My little sister is 20, since she was 19 she has changed her major 3 times, and is at her 3rd university. Talk to her about it, i've never met a girl that doesn't want to have kids eventually. But you have only been dating for 2 weeks. Wait for a while to find out more about her. You can't know her too well after only 2 weeks, and see what is really important to her.
2007-02-20 07:43:46 · answer #2 · answered by rockran 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should let her go. This is a fairly new relationship and no deep feelings are involved just yet. She's telling you upfront that she won't be able to have children and she just wants to have fun. She is still very young so of course she is trying to enjoy her youth. She's not ready to settle down like you are. She still needs time to find herself and enjoy her young life. If you wait around for this girl you are setting yourself up for disappointment. You don't want to waste your time waiting for this girl that may never change her mind. You might find someone that is on the same level as you are and who is ready to settle down and have a family.
2007-02-20 07:45:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have been dating for 2 weeks...slow down...relationships do take alot of time and effort from both people...if we knew who we are going to be with for the rest of our lives than whats the point in dating??? there is no way that you are able to tell if you two were ment for each other in 2 weeks....no matter how much chemistry you have...just give it time and see what happens
2007-02-20 07:42:44 · answer #4 · answered by kauaichic420 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is a little kid! And so are you! Go ahead and have a relation if you two like each other.
You two can plan, and have different plans as well, but for now, have fun, enjoy each other, and see what happens. It is too soon to be thinking about those things you mentioned.
Just go ahead and don’t worry that much for now.
2007-02-20 07:42:31 · answer #5 · answered by Dan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One wanting kids, the other not, that is a serious significant difference. I doubt she will change, but you are both still very young. Priorities sometimes change as people get older, however, you should be very careful about thinking you can change her. You can't.
2007-02-20 07:50:28 · answer #6 · answered by Someone who cares 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your both still so young...invest in the relationship.....give it your all.....alot can happen in 5 years.
I said I would never have kids...now I have 2 under 4, and do daycare for 5 children in total.
go there.....if you don't take the chance you don't stand a chance...good luck. and enjoy.
2007-02-20 07:42:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really like her you should give this a chance..in a relationships there are many set backs......Think about it........Doesn't mean she being a farrier won't allow her to have children...She might change her mind.....Take it slow
2007-02-20 07:46:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're 22 and she's 19. You both have so much ahead of you. I would keep things going and see where they lead. My one piece of advice would be not to put all your eggs in one basket. Date a few women and see what's out there.
2007-02-20 07:42:50 · answer #9 · answered by sleepingliv 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She could change her mind in a few years but she might not. I would find someone else who wants to have kids.
2007-02-20 07:41:14 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel Bitchface 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋